Work Relationships Options

[Stephire]

I've been working at an Italian restaurant for two years.
For the first year and a half (or as little less) I didn't think much about work while I was not there, I went there and only talked to my tables and managers with a smile on my face, and then I cleaned the restaurant and went home.
I had no intention to make any friends or enemies; I didn't care and only used it as a place to make money.
This was pretty successful seeing as I banked and made no real connection with anyone.
Well after being at Primo's which seems like FOREVER, I've become a super win employee, winning dumb bullshit contests, being a constant Team Leader (I check and assign duties for all the other servers), and I used to train; but our training program changed.
So blah blah blah, work is work, I don't care, but then I accidentally become close to a boy who closed with me all the time and being the lolperson I am I go to Denny’s with him once after work and leave my then boyfriend to date workboy.
So things go fine for a while (except I break my ex-boyfriends heart, but that's a long story).
But working at a restaurant is different from any other place I've ever worked at.
The difference is-everybody is tweaking on something. I work with, like, 6 junkies, one of our old key managers had to take leave for checking herself into a methadone clinic, 4 of our cooks are dealers and illegal’s, I mean if anyone has ever worked at a restaurant, they would get what I'm trying to say. It's drug hookup central.
So obviously, my new boyfriend introduces me to the world of wonderful Buddha.
But I gave up on that after a couple of months because I gained ten pounds and I really don't look good over 125lbs.
Anyway, one of the junkie girls at work thinks she owns all men and ever since I've been dating Jacob has a personal vendetta against me.
I'm a quick to anger type person and every time she gets in my face she makes me blow up.
She very tactful too, like she'll instigate and then when a manager steps in suddenly I'm the bully. This is gayzors. I mean, I'm somewhat of a bitch at work, don't get me wrong, you'd have to be to work with the heroine whores there. It's madness.

Well...my question is this through this long situation of lame, how do I fix my work relationships?
The girl who hates me just won’t stop, and I'm over it. I don't know how to patch it up. I'm so ignorant to apologies and how to make people like you. My boss' say my bad attitude towards the other employees is the only reason I’m threatened with being fired. It's so annoying, she acts like life is mean girls and she's the Regina to my Lindsay Lohan. I mean I could just quit and look for a new serving job, but damn her winning like that makes me want to scream. I also don’t feel like learning a new menu, etc.

[diffusionn]

ahhh, drama--in one of the most annoying places possible--sucks.

here's my take. see what you think. ;].

in a normal situation, that is, out of the work place, it's probably a no-brainer as to what you should do. i know that i would sit miss "regina" down and set her straight, being as diplomatic as possible, of course! that's just me though.

sadly, most work environments operate sort of like a classe system, you know, like a totem pole. there are low-end employees, of course, who get all the crap in the job. then there are higher-tiered positions, which the not-so-high peoples work up to over time. rarely does one immediately enter a job as a manager, unless, of course, he or she is just THAT freakishly impressive and just pop right into high rank. anyway, i say all of this to say that you and this "regina" are essentially on the same level, despite your [current?] position as team leader. however, since you are [were?] team leader, your boss (who is higher up than BOTH of you) sees a lot of good substance and--yes--leadership within you. therefore, since this is NOT a normal, out-of-the-work-place situation, my suggestion is to approach your boss; suggest a personal meeting with your boss; and then politely request to convene with "regina", your boss, and yourself, making sure to let your boss know that you very much desire (regardless if you actually WANT to or not; it's a part of being in a job, unfortunately) to settle the tension, dispute, dislike, or whatever you want to call it. this will make it look like you really want to do your job and do it well with other people, and it will more than likely cause your boss to see a different angle of you, which is always a plus. also, it will ultimately make you the bigger person since you instigated a potential "truce" between the two of you, which may impress your boss as well!

i hope that made sense to you! :)).

as far as the intimate relationship with jacob, yes, not dating a fellow employee IS usually the smart way to go. HOWEVER, it CAN be done effectively and proactively. understand that when you two are at work, it's WORK. when you're not at work, that is a whole different realm. being at work calls for being professional, non-biased, and OBJECTIVE (objectiveness at work is KEY). on the other hand, outside of work, again is a totally different field because THEN it's okay to be biased and subjective. as long as BOTH of you understand the different "states" of you guys' relationship, i feel you two will be fine. again, this is MY view on this. just making sure you remember!

best of luck to you, especially since you really do sound like a star-employee at Primo's. =].