Ask Alice! Options

[AskAlice]

I'm Alice and I am here to answer your questions. Many of you are in your formative years and are in need of some guidance, may it be in relationships, school, work, family, whatever! So, I'm sure you guys want to get started. To send in a question, please e-mail askalicecb@gmail.com. You can use an anonymous e-mail from one of those websites if you feel that your problem is of a high magnitude. I will answer as many as I can, but if there is a high volume, I may not get to them all. I apologize in advance for this.

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[AskAlice]

well i just went thourgh one of my hardest break-ups ever. i have too see him everday. and he is mena to me at times. sometimes he fools around with me is that i sign that he still likes me. and the only time that he is nice to me is if he ever needs me to help him with something

I'm sorry to be blunt with this, but him fooling around with you is not a sign that he likes you. It sounds like he's using you. Anyone deserves more than that. My advice to you is to avoid him as much as you can and to definitely stop talking to him so it will be easier for you to recover. Don't let him use you to fulfill any desires of his own; if he wants that from you, he can treat you like a real man.

Hey Alice.

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for awhile now. Things are going great and it's getting to the point in our relationship where he want's to have sex. Im not a virgin, so this isn't a really big deal to me. But the last time i had sex was a really long time ago, and now i'm really insecure about my body. Don't get me wrong, i want to have sex with him- Can't control hormones, right? But i'm extremely self concious about my body and being seen naked. What can i do?

Why are you so self-conscious? If you two have been dating for a long time and trust each other, this shouldn't be an issue. Are you scared because you think he's better-looking than you? Because you think he might want someone else? If time is invested in an emotional connection, not only will your body type not matter to him, but he'll probably think it's beautiful either way. The better you get to know someone, the more you accept their physical traits. I bet that if you do decide to have sex, it will make you feel even better about your body. That's what love is. Don't be ashamed to share yourself with him (if you really want to -- I wouldn't try to persuade you into doing something you don't want to). Sex is one way to show love for one another if that love is there, so don't let petty insecurities stop you from sharing that with him.