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in the closet?
misz tery us
post Sep 6 2005, 06:48 PM
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im not sure where this goes but i got a problem...(im sorry for all these topics...im just letting everything out...that's why this account was made =T)

it's kinda odd that im talking about my guy problems, all these bf stuff...but there is another side of me....

i think i might be still "in the closet"...i mean, i do look at guys like they're hott + stuff (like a normal girl)...but i check out girls too....like for example, yesterday, i went to a beach and some girl was running up the stairs + i kept staring at her ass. +i confess, i do watch porn =x and im mostly interested in the lesbian stuff...(actually...just hentai =x) omg i can't believe im saying this but hopefully no one knows who i actually am or else i'd kill myself. i wouldn't let anyone know this...also, i think about girls with big chest and stuff. i was roaming through some websites and somehow i got into a girl's site and she was showing off some nude pix of her and i couldn't stop looking...i might just be bi or something but, i've never did anything with a girl, EVER...i'd be way too scared to actually do something with a girl by myself so...

there was this one time, my bf's brother went to a gay bar/club (cuz his friend was gay + gay bars have alot of girls there) + he took me along...i then wanted to pretend that i was drunk so i could make out with a girl but it didn't work out (the girl turned out to be straight just taking out her gay guy friend)...iono...

i love the feeling being in a man's arms...but i guess...it's a sexual feeling....

what should i do? should i find a lesbian over the internet + experiment to see how it is? or just stick to men...i don't know...i hope im not weird or anything...maybe there's someone else like me..
 

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