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Humor Forum Rules

Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.

The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:


NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.

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If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.


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Acting his age
gotahemmi55
post Aug 13 2005, 03:13 AM
Post #1


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A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker, the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29."

"I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says. "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds."
 
elmogurly
post Aug 13 2005, 01:16 PM
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lol, naughty old lady..eww
 
EXPLO5ION
post Aug 13 2005, 05:23 PM
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What a trickster.
 
lilcy00tiepie
post Aug 13 2005, 05:35 PM
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Why would an old lady.. blink.gif ..okay that's just creepy. sweating.gif but it was funny how she was behind him.
 
hall0w
post Aug 14 2005, 11:18 AM
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biggrin.gif rofl that lady is sick
 
XDrayne
post Aug 15 2005, 05:13 PM
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loL EWw ;p
 
yellowgurl
post Aug 15 2005, 08:52 PM
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ewww bad lady. bad old lady. but lolz.
 
aera
post Aug 16 2005, 05:31 PM
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some old lady is thinking dirty thoughts.
 
Midnight Faerie
post Aug 16 2005, 05:59 PM
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Tsk, tsk. Such a naughty old lady.
 
*iNyCxShoRT*
post Aug 16 2005, 07:23 PM
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yuck, the guy was ripped off -.-
 
WHOngos144
post Aug 16 2005, 07:27 PM
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lmao what a nasty bastard
 
Paradox of Life
post Aug 16 2005, 07:57 PM
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AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA. That was great.
 
islandkiss
post Oct 22 2005, 08:33 PM
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LOL. that was hilarious
 
..:loveee.NuTTii
post Oct 26 2005, 06:15 PM
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Lmao-theres a grandma joke like this.
 
_sarcastic_
post Oct 26 2005, 06:40 PM
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snicky
 
b0st0ngrl
post Oct 26 2005, 06:42 PM
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HAHA, that's gross.
Dirty old lady shifty.gif
 
toodlepops.
post Oct 27 2005, 02:47 AM
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That lady is smart. =D
 
o0olaalaa
post Oct 27 2005, 06:02 PM
Post #18


ladybugs are hot <3
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i heard this one before =) but its funnay biggrin.gif
 
lea_
post Oct 31 2005, 06:20 PM
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ew.......very funny but nonsense....
 
Tribal J_Rome
post Oct 31 2005, 07:19 PM
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wut wut in the butt?
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rofl watta idiot
 
lilxroxy
post Nov 29 2005, 09:47 AM
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sneaky.. o__o;

 

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