How to stop sucking?, Two words--I suck. Options

[LovelyNansukeCha...]

Yes, as you can plainly see, I (unreasonably?) am trying to stop sucking. These days I hate myself. All I can ever do anymore is thinking about how much I suck. I have no inspiration for my comics (writer's block) and every idea I have I throw away. My brothers are always telling me I suck at drawing and I have no drawing style, that I should copy someone. But copying feels horrible and also styleless. Also, my personality sucks. I act stupid 24/7 and I know it. So most of the time I'd rather just listen to everyone else and shut up completely cause I'm going to say something stupid and regret it. Same thing with my comics because I've looked back at old comics and thought, "This is stupid and geeky. Why did I ever think like this?" and I'm afraid the same thing will happen with the comics I do know. Gosh, I'm hopeless! Even worse, I'm going to regret what I said just now, like I did on another board I was on and delete my account. Gosh, I hate myself. Gosh. Gosh! (Too much napoleon dynamite.) Yeah, and just now I was so desperate that I was searching on google for "ways to stop sucking." And I said maybe I should just play the guitar...if I knew more about it, and if that string wasn't broken. And my older brother was telling me, "Ugh, you're so negative you suck! You suck!" So now a lot of what I've been doing is rereading fruits basket and...thinking about how the world has changed for the worse...and cleaning my room needlessly (sweeping imaginary dust). Hoping maybe something will happen to me, maybe I will grow up. And hoping doesn't help either. I don't know when I'm going to end this horrible, self pitying topic. I'm pretty sure everyone's going to agree with how much I suck in the end anyway. Gosh...oh yes, and I can't afford therapy, so that's not an option. Okay I wish I wouldn't pity myself so much because the person next to me probably has a better reason to be upset and I don't see whoever that is whining. Yup...sorry about this topic. I'll finish it now, I promise.