Things 2 not do in catholic skool, stuff i tried last year Options

[pinkstarburst08]

OK... im not scared of getting into trouble, and i got very bored this year, i go to a catholic school, so i compiled a list of stuff i tried at school.... this list became pretty (in)famous... here it goes:::::

*Do not confuse Band director's head with a cue ball, bowling ball, basically, any type of ball.
*Do not say to admin or teachers" don't make me mad i'm running out of room to put the bodies"
*When someone ask to borrow ur cell phone do not say"sry it's dead."
*When someone atually checks to see if it's dead make sure it is
*when the cell phone has 3 sticks left do not repley "well is usually has 4."
*Do not jump off benches and use the excuse that you are "preparing for the revolution."
*The revolution is not this week.
*Its not any time this week.
*I am not the atheist high priest.
*High priest does not mean the priest smokes before mass, and I should not convince My religion techer I know this for a fact.
Should not roll eyes when guest speakers say that sex is bad.
*Especially if you sit front and center.
*Can't check out early due to religious reasons... especially when everyone else stays at school.
*Can't fall down stairs just so that football players are obligated to carry you up and down them all day.
*Do not tell math teacher her pants are "definitely not copestetic".
*Don't remix 'Milkshake', 'My Neck, My Back', and 'Jesus Love the Little Children' in the middle of religion class.
*Especially when the principal is subbing.
*When going to buy a yearbook please make sure you know how to spell ur last name
*Do not shout out during lunch "THERE'S NO L IN LEDOUX"
*Can no longer steal free cokes from car dealerships.
*No dancing on lunch table in front of Coach Tank.
*Especially when the dance comes from "Dirty Dancing".
*Do not sit at picnic table when it is surrounded by water.
*Even if it does make you look wimpy.
*Do not confess undying love and devotion to ur best g/f in front of her b/f.
*When being interviewed to be accepted, do not answer the question, 'so what are your long term goals?' with the bright answer of... "To eventually overtake the world with a group of pink horses and flying monkies."
*None of my teachers ever want to hear about what I did with 4 cans of Sprite, 6 Fruit roll-ups, and 2 slices of pizza.
*Neither do administraters.
*I will not be the one to start the revolution.
*I should probably stop telling my religion teacher that only I know when the second-coming will be and where.
*No teacher wants to have nothing to do with my stories of famous murderers I'm related to.
*Don't correct teachers when they say something about drugs that isn't true.
*Don't ever ask questions while you are being drug tested.
*Especially anything along the lines of... So just exactly what drugs specifically show up on this thingy right hurr?!?!
*DO NOT take browies from Kristen no matter how delicious the may look
*DO NOT do this before an exam no mater how delicious browies look
*No pool on 3rd story
*No elevator either.
*Must stop asking if I can play on the roof of school with my Barbies and my bipolar invisible friends.
*Stop chewing that gum.
*Do not ask the lunch ladies what type of tires were used for the pizza.
*Just spit out the gum.
*No hats.
*Even if they DO have a cross.
*Not allowed to wear a necklace with a diamond Playboy bunny on it... even if there IS a cross on it too.
*Don't pull out another peice of gum and attempt to chew it.
*You do not come from France, Jersey, or Mississippi, so stop those voices.
*If a Senior tells you they will pay you $20 on the 1st day of school to ask a teacher where the boys' bathroom is, DO NOT ask principal.
*I am not a Greek or a Roman, and I should not bow down to Zeus in the middle of a religion test.
*No skateboarding at school.
*Boys are not allowed into the girls' locker room.
*Not even for 'physical science tutoring'.
*Physical science does not involve sex, and we should stop askin if it does.
*When teacher says we can now only ask reasonable questions in class, yelling out, "What the hook gonn be?"... bad idea.
*Don't answer a question with a question.
*Stop repeating yourself so much.
*I am not a character from the Simpsons.
*Stop repeating yourself so much.
*Don't forget the rule of personal space while talking to a school employee, they can classify it as sexual harrassment.
*Change what you repeat every now and then.
*Stop pretending to be drunk.
*Stop making up fake names and answering to those names alone.
*I am not the lord of the dance.
*My boyfriend's name is not the Ultimate Super-Hot Wedgie Giver.
*Stop bringing lists such as this one to school and showing them to everyone possible.
*Stop putting the staples right in the middle of the page you turn in.
*No singing.
*No singing anything, even church songs.
*No skipping in the hallway.
*No dancing or gymnastics in the hallway.
*Stop attempting to hide in your locker so that you can jump out and yell Boo! at 9th graders.
*Do not attempt to try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the desks. (When you're almost done, yell "No, wait, I messed up!" and start all over again!)
*Do not ask teachers repeatedly what gender they are.
*On the spot on standardized tests that says 'sex, M F' not right to write in, "Sometimes on Wednesdays too!'
*"I'm drunk" is not the best excuse for anything.
*Nothing I say is 'in accordance with the prophesy'.
*Lying is not right. (Fun, but not right)
*Teachers really don't want to know about every couple that made out at the movies last Friday.
*They don't wanna hear about what they did after they made out either.
*School uniform policy does not state "Uniform or nothing."
*That nothing is really not an option.
*Really.
*No lap-dance classes during Religion, Science, History, Reading, English, or Math. (Band is okay.)
*When getting fussed by teachers, I am not allowed to get the last word.
*(Word)
*No cards in band class because they are satanist.
*No sunglasses in the school building.
*When asked meatballs or meatsauce, dont respond with 'spaghetti'.
*The hallways are in the school building too.
*No eating doughnuts during morning prayer.
*Beingets either!

*It's only wrong if you get caught.
*Don't try to take a sink home as a 'keepsake'.
*The only way playing dice is allowed is if it's a 'math project'.
*If I don't stop bringing lists like this to school...
*"I have a hangover" is not a good excuse for missing Saturday school.
*I still do not have super powers.
*No ouija boards in religion class.
*When I do not know the answer to a discussion question on a test, quoting Dr.Suess will make me lose points.
*Freddy does not live under my desk.
*Not allowed to have flashbacks to the Civil War.
*I am not a nazi. (I didnt try this, someone called me that!)
*If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than 20 seconds, I must assume I am not allowed to do it.
*I'm not in need of 'a more suitable host body', so I should stop repeating that in a demonic voice between classes.
*No text messaging in class.
*Especially about the teacher.
*Stop threatening suicide with Pop Rocks and Coke.
*Take those sunglasses off.
*The hat too.
*And the necklace.
*No, not the shirt... or shoes.
*Crap is a curse word.