experience is wisdom, family is permanent, father's day Options

[fameONE]

With all of my ailing problems and middle class suburban mishaps under the roof of 10415 Stonecreek Place, everything was settled in one day without a word being said at all.

f**k a wishy-washy post about fatherly acceptance. I'm going to set this straight and be realer than North Korea's warheads. I love my father. Hold on, let me put that into better persepective; I respect my father as a person and what I utterly hated about him, turns out, wasn't his fault at all. My eyes were opened today to see that I am nothing. I have no financial establishment (no credit), nothing to legally call my own and not a bit of real world experience other than my endurance through emotional hardships. My father has "seen it all," and, for once, I believe him.

The animosity is done but the tension has yet to permanently fade away. That's something I'm just going to have to deal with. Father's Day was especially difficult for he and I today. For me; it was the painful reminder that my grandfather (whom I felt knew me best and was more of a father than my won) is no longer a phone call. But for my dad, it was the heartbreaking eggtimer to let him know that time on this earth is not a guarantee. His mother, his father, grandfather and his sister (along with a host of friends, cousins, aunts and uncles) within a 4 year span is something that would break you down as well. For my father to handle such losses as well as he is deserves some credit.

I've been looking at things from such a selfish prospective in regards to our father/son relationship. Just as I go through problems, just as I have bad days and want to do nothing but shun myself from society, he wants to do the exact same. I actually take the initiative to barracde myself in front of a computer, vaguely pouring out personal information to internet voyeurs while he, on the other hand, will try to fake a good mood through his sorrows. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to understand my father, how he thinks or what makes him tick but I can figure out the situation that we're in so we can find a solution. I don't want to be my father, I don't want his flaws, his temper or his demeanor. But don't get it twisted, I want to be like him. He's my hero again, just like when I was 6.

Bad times will come and go. Things aren't perfect and he and my mother will continue to anger me beyond comprehension. They're still my parents, I still love them and they'll always be an inspiration to me. It had to rain for me to appreciate sunshine

[*incoherent*]

hmm no replies. thats odd about your post though.

[*RockizLife*]

I'm in the same boat bro. There have been times that I've hated my Dad more then I ever loved him. And not because of foolish things such as him not letting me go to some party. I've always had hate built up inside towards him to where I go weeks without ever even looking him in the eye. Now I'm realizing that he's getting older and he'll be gone soon. I've realized that it wasn't him that sparked the hate, it was my blindness and ignorant rage against this man that has supported me my whole life. Rage that I had no reason to have. I never even gave him the time of day. And he's put up with it for so long. I've broken that mans heart. Now, I watch my Dad and listen to him sometimes just talking on the phone with one of his friends and spend time with him I've realized what a great father I have. I'm happy for you Brandon. Love your Dad. He'll be gone sooner then you think.