As the Heavens Cry |
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| *RockizLife* |
 Jul 7 2005, 11:45 PM
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#1
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As the Heavens Cry
I listen to the tears fall from your eyes This distance between us I greatly despise I want to hold you and make it feel right But the days ahead, for us, are not looking very bright You asked me tonight if I ever cry I didn't know how to tell you each moment I die Knowing that it can never be Knowing I'll never get to say "It's just you and me" I told you I'd be there to wipe away every tear It's difficult to do that when I'm trapped away here I listen closely as the heavens cry I cannot seem to stop asking myself why Why can't I make her happiness last forever? Why do they deny us ever being together? I have such a passion to make all your dreams come true All I want from everything is the best for you Even if the best for you does not include me Your happiness and beautiful smile forever I wish to see |
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Jul 7 2005, 11:49 PM
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#2
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 d@niel  Group: Member Posts: 1,267 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,453 |
great writing...i like your title....thanks for sharing!
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| *stephinika* |
Jul 8 2005, 01:07 AM
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#3
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brenden right? that was amazing...it sounds almost like a situation i'm in, but either way it was great. keep up the awesome work.
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Jul 8 2005, 01:56 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,799 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,450 |
Wow. I love the title and the whole poem itself.
QUOTE I listen to the tears fall from your eyes This distance between us I greatly despise I liked that part. |
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| *RockizLife* |
Jul 8 2005, 11:28 PM
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#5
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Thanks I'm glad you all enjoyed it!!
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Jul 8 2005, 11:39 PM
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#6
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Aw, that's cute. It has so much emotion, especially from a guy. It's good that you don't keep them all bottled up inside you. I love your poems, but for all that emotion, why restrain them in a rhyming scheme? I think you'd do excellent if you tried your hand at a free verse poem. You're awesome. Keep up the good work, love.
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Jul 8 2005, 11:52 PM
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#7
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Mr. Hottie Group: Member Posts: 406 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,225 |
wow! that's really tranquil.
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| *RockizLife* |
Jul 12 2005, 11:43 PM
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#8
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Yeah, it's about something I'm going through right now. Writing always helps.
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Jul 13 2005, 12:21 PM
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#9
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 :) Group: Member Posts: 1,234 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 146,496 |
That was amazing Brenden
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