"incomplete", it's a start. |
 Jun 28 2005, 08:30 AM
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#1
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 cellophane chests?  Group: Member Posts: 488 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,816  |
I just want to lie here
I just want to die I just want some quiet I just want to deny it I was not loved. I was not sacred. I was not secret. You leave and never look back. Don't cast a glance over your shoulder your looks crush me like a boulder I can't take it you know I'll break it I'll forsake it Just to be happy. I just want to lie here In this quiet The silence I am breathing Not for long It's hard to give up when you've given it your all. |
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Jun 28 2005, 02:23 PM
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#2
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 What a hypocrite. Group: Member Posts: 2,754 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 128,150 |
Wow, very well-written, the poem gives a kind of depressed or troublesome mood to it, and the last verse that's underlined and red is my favorite part of the poem. Nice work.
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Jul 1 2005, 03:42 PM
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#3
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 lackadaisical Group: Member Posts: 203 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 113,463 |
 so sad and depressing! good job anyway!
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Jul 1 2005, 04:38 PM
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#4
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mood: content Group: Member Posts: 2,063 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,325 |
YAY, good grammar with capitals! <333 Nicely done, makes me a little sad though. :( You came up with the last bit yourself? Wow, I like it. :)
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Jul 9 2005, 01:37 AM
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#5
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Mr. Hottie Group: Member Posts: 406 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,225 |
DEEP!
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