Eternal. Options

[inthemudhole]

Eternal.


She mindlessly dwells in this earth with fear. Fear of trust, fear of loss. She never knows where to turn, she never knows where go to. She can't see straight. She can't see the light. The trees are closing in on her, ripping away that last bit of life that had always sinfully remained. Suddenly her mind involuntarily flashes back to a day five years before, which happened to be the day. The day she could have saved herself. The scenes replay vividly in her mind, that wretched day. On that day, one life was taken. But in reality, two lives were taken. She was never the same since it happened. She was so altered, so different that she hardly even seemed alive. Just breathing. But now her mind returns to the current setting, the current jaunt. She's now returning home. She's trying to repress the urge, the dangerous and potentially fatal urge. The urge to once again open her skin, to separate from life. To watch the ghastly, red liquid seep out like a waterfall. To get that bit of relief.

However, you see, as she wallows on the floor of her bathroom, she realizes that what she is doing is wrong. In fact, she is wrong. Causing more pain upon oneself doesn't ease the other issues and disputes for very long. Even when under the numbing sensation, which is almost like a drug, it doesn't do a lot of good.

This is where she realizes that she isn't saving herself by doing such things. She isn't breathing new life upon herself. This isn't a natural activity that she is engaging in.

She now has the insentive, the determination.
The incentive to quit.
The determination to quit.

To quit for good.

-------------------

Okay....
So I wrote that in math class today.
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, please. This is basically the first writing piece that I've ever posted on here.