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To S_____, With Love
*RockizLife*
post Jun 24 2005, 10:51 PM
Post #1





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To S____, With Love

I'm writing this to tell you
I really want you to know
I'm here for you in everything you do
Don't feel you have to put on a show
Be yourself and chase your dream
Don't let anyone bring you down
I'll always be here through lifes crazy scheme
To erase that lonely frown

To S____, with love
Please spread your wings
Soar like a dove
Fly right by lifes depressing things
Maybe one of these days
I'll catch up to you
We'll cross ways
For you, theres nothing I wouldn't do

When you fall
I'll be here
No need to call
I'll wipe away every tear
Remember to soar with his guidence from above
I conclude this letter, To S____, With Love

© Brenden Noll
 
 
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Replies (1 - 10)
gothicdork
post Jun 26 2005, 03:02 AM
Post #2


My weakness is that I care too much. Also that I love you with a
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That was beautiful. I love it totally. Its very expressive and beautiful. Would you like to see one of mine?....that's ok if u dun but I would liek someone's opinion on this
 
demolished
post Jun 26 2005, 03:53 AM
Post #3


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wonderful wonderful, just wonderful. lmao.
 
ApocalypseAelis
post Jun 28 2005, 03:42 PM
Post #4


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Touching.


Great job.

And what's with the "lmao" from you?^ _dry.gif It was wonderful.
 
Sa-Chan
post Jun 28 2005, 05:22 PM
Post #5


Crying Behind Blind Eyes
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This is sweet. Good job.
 
gothicdork
post Jun 29 2005, 03:32 AM
Post #6


My weakness is that I care too much. Also that I love you with a
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I love it very much u dun min dif put one up in here do ya?
 
Paradox of Life
post Jun 30 2005, 02:12 AM
Post #7


My name's Katt. Nice to meet you!
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QUOTE(gothicdork @ Jun 29 2005, 2:32 AM)
I love it very much u dun min dif put one up in here do ya?
*


Everyone's welcome to post in the Writing Forum.

I love the repetition of the title, but you really should put "Dear Anonymous" or "Dear beloved" or something so it doesn't just look like a blank or typo. Or in my case.. another word shifty.gif

'I'm writing this to tell you
I really want you to know
I'm here for you in everything you do
Don't feel you have to put on a show'


Somehow that stanza is just awkward to me.

I love the rhyme scheme you used and it's really tough sometimes to make appropriate rhymes for them, but you did an excellent job. Keep up the excellent work! tongue.gif
 
BrokenDream
post Jun 30 2005, 12:29 PM
Post #8


<33
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awesome, awesome work! it rhymed like every verse, lol. happy.gif
 
*x____duckii*
post Jun 30 2005, 01:09 PM
Post #9





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Aww, that's sweet. Good job. =)
 
*RockizLife*
post Jun 30 2005, 01:35 PM
Post #10





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Thanks everybody. I'm glad everyone enjoyed it! happy.gif
 
[Deep]Thought63
post Jul 9 2005, 01:41 AM
Post #11


Mr. Hottie
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good writing!
 

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