A message to anyone., version 5.0 Options

[sharerol]

Okay, now I'm really starting to reconsider what I've said before. But it's not like I actually really said it before. But you're just a bunch of bullshit starting crap with your goddamn f**king ignorant bitch friends. Please. Go away. Just stfu and leave.

[dreamerOi]

i'm sorry i can't be more like the average teen for you.

[whywasisostupid]

dear seth,

i cant stop thinking about you. you have fun at warped tour, ill see you monday for lunch. <3333

ps. ur buddy randy keeps hitting on me, please tell him to stop.

[*mzkandi*]

I know your hurting inside and it makes me sad because I cant take the pain away.

[whywasisostupid]

dear brandon flowers,
im in love with you. ogod your so hot.

[KELLYYY]

- Why you? :(

- Okay. Now I know the "real" you. You're pathetic. >: (

[aznhunnie6o1]

Aghh.. I'm soo confused about my feelings right now... I like you, but I don't... Everything's just so messed up!!! I don't think I want to be with someone right now.. Maybe I want to be single.. I'm really not sure of what to do with myself. I hate how your trying to spoil me and act all mushy gushy.. I really hate that... Maybe every once in a while you can do that... But not TOO much.. I just... -sighh- I'm so confused right now.. I can't think straight... Your not even going out with me!! I don't think things will work between us.. We go to different schools and I'm enjoying being single... Maybe all of my feelings for you is a small crush.. I didn't want it to become something serious...

I don't want there to be an us.... I'm sorry...

[Winter]

All I can say is ARRGGGHHHH. It's driving me crazy that you're not here. I can't wait for you to come back in February.

[*Azarel*]

I'm sorry, love. I don't know how many times I feel I need to say it, but I truly am. I should be more understanding, less selfish, and I always hate when this happens - when I don't know how, when I can't change. I want so badly to, but inside, I'm still the same selfish child who doesn't know when to give up my own desires for someone who needs me. I hate how I get frustrated with you and hurt you. I hate how I set out angry and then end up regretful, full of remorse. I wish I knew how to think everything through before acting.

You haven't been online, and I suppose I'm worried about you. I don't want you to do anything drastic, I don't want you to hurt yourself, especially not on account of me. I hate that I have this power too. I'm sorry I made today more difficult for you - you really don't deserve this trouble that I put you through. I'm supposed to be supportive, understanding - but I'm not. You've got all this shit going on, and me, I'm so inconsiderate. I just give you even more. I don't deserve you. God.

All those times you were fronting, pretending to be happy, deep down, I think I knew all along. I just didn't want to have to face it it because it's just so much easier believing that everything's okay, that you're happy. I hate that I took the easy way out, but there's nothing I can do anyway. My beautiful boy, my heart is breaking. I'm sorry I can't be here for you the way a good girlfriend should be. I'm so sorry.

But it's approaching six in the morning, I'm listening to Stabbing Westward's "Sometimes It Hurts," and I feel like I'm dying. I'm finding it hard to breathe - I'm gasping for breath, my head has been pounding since midnight, my lower back is sore - it feels out of place, I can't sleep, I'm crying my eyes out, and I feel like my heart is being ripped into two. I need to know that you're stable. I need to know you're emotionally doing okay, or as okay as you'll get for now. I wish that I could prevent this all from happening, that you would come back to me, that I could make you happy. There's so much I wish I could do, but I guess it just won't happen, no matter how hard I want it to.

And I'm scared - I'm afraid. This creeping feeling I recently mentioned - it's the fear that I'm losing you, and it really feels like I am. Communication is key in any relationship, especially a long distance one, and we can't even hold a decent conversation anymore. I can't get enough of you anymore. I've stalked your createBlog posts. I've admired your past artwork and writings. I've read all of the conversations with you that I saved the past two days. I've stared at your pictures for hours. And I still want more. God, I'm selfish.

The sixteenth of May - you said exactly what I'm feeling now. "This gradually grew into not enough. [...] We have to meet." It was only two days later that you were supposed to show up. But you never did, and I kept my chin up. Two weeks later, you were less than half an hour away. And God still wouldn't let me have you. I remember imagining so vividly what our first meeting would be like. And I still do. I wonder what it'd be like to hold your hand, hug you, cuddle, even just look up at you. I think about what it'll be like when we have to say goodbye - even if it's only temporarily. I realized how much it'll hurt, and it just makes me cry harder.

Look at this. Over a month since we were supposed to first meet, I'm still counting down the days until you're here. I need you so badly. I physically need you. And yet, I've somehow still turned it all back to my own selfish wants. I hate that I can't make myself a better person for you. I hate who I am. Right now, I just want so badly to be able to fall asleep knowing that you're alright. Two nights ago, I dreamt that mum met you, that mum approved of you. And now the sun's beginning to rise. I wish you could be here to see it. I hate that we're out of sleeping pills and painkillers. I want to fall asleep, to perhaps be with you, at least for a short while. God. I miss you. I don't even know how to begin to explain how I love you.

"..and after all this time / you'd think I'd understand the way you feel / but no, I only think about myself / and it's driving you away / I always knew it would someday / sometimes it hurts so much to lose the one you love.."

[mouse_3k]

-I Cant believe, out of everyone, you think I do drugs, smoke, drink, and have sex. YOU think im out of control. You judge me when you dont even know me even though you lived with me for 16 years. Believe what you want, one day, Im going to prove I dont do that stuff and earn ur trust but for now, believe what you want, no matter how false it is...

-I love you. I may not be over my first love fully, But your #1 in my heart. I hate when you fake on me, thats why I get mad. I say you need to become a better bf but the truth is, you already are the perfect boyfriend for me. You care for me and would do NE thin to make me happy. I hope I make you feel the same. I love you, always and forever.

[sharerol]

- Why you? :(

- Okay. Now I know the "real" you. You're pathetic. >: (

- Okay, so even though I want to um...not like you, I still do. O_O And it's killing me. My god.

[liTToguRL]

hmm hi,... i dont actually know what to say to you but i can at least talk to u on aim, phone and in school!!

[xhidethedetails]

Why did you tell them this was supposed to be between me and you and you told them! Now everyone is mad at me and I am so upset. If I sign online everyone is going to yell at me and I cant take it. I still love you but why did you do it?

[pinayprincess]

1. i will always care for you

2. you suck d**k... f**k out of my life until you become nicer to me =P

[sharerol]

- Hahahahaha. Don't.

[*x____duckii*]

I still don't know why we even speak to each other anymore. You always end up making me crying, and making me feel worse about myself. Sure, there are times you may want to hang with me, but that's only when you have no one to hang out with. You always make fun of me and treat me like shit. Well, guess what? I'm sick and tired of this bullshit.

You always tell me that I've changed, but guess what? You have, too. You probably started changing before I ever have. You're always telling me to go f**k myself, but how do you know if it hurts me or not? You're always ruining everything for me. You're always trying to take advantage of me. You think that I'm the one that starts shit? Well, how about when you stir up all of this trouble?

Sure, I still love you and all, but it gets me so aggrievated that you can be such an a-hole. It's seems as if you prefer your friends/acquiantances over me. Unless you stop treating me like shit, I'll keep on treating you like shit. You're lucky that I care about you too damn much to start ignoring you.

You also always seem to think that you're right. But that isn't always true. As long as you start showing me some respect, I'll show you some, too.

And don't think that'll I'll change just so you'll like me, because I won't. If you don't like me for me, then too bad. Yes, I know, I'm annoying, bitchy, stupid, but that doesn't mean you have any right to make me feel bad. Again, I'm not willing to change for you, or for anybody, whether they like me or not.

[*stephinika*]

um. hi. i didn't know you felt like that... sorry. we are friends still, really! i've just been...tied up, y'know? sorry....

wee...this week will be fuuuun!

so...hope you got that email and that you understand.

aw you left me for disneyland...lol thats okay. hope your trip is going well.

[sharerol]

- Yeah. So I need a life thanks to you.

[dreamerOi]

don't run away from me when you cant handle an argument. if you can't handle an argument then how are you going to handle being in a relationship. im not like your exgirlfriend you know that? when i argue with you im being serious. im not taking you walking away as an i love you. im taking it as a okay i cant handle this or being with you so im going to walk away from this and this relationship. and im not going to run away from you or your arguments cause we have to clear things up. well unfortunately im going to the hospital tomorrow so i wont see you then or the day after. so i hope you have a good time in hk. im learning how to say no more often but you need to learn how to stop running away.
and im sorry. for always getting into fights with you because of something stupid im thinking. and sorry for wanting to leave you. no. sorry for not being afraid of you leaving me.

to myself.
im too picky to be in a relationship. maybe im looking for the minority of the population of guys. thats still being picky. i should just settle for what ive got or whats in front of me. but people always want the best. but im not saying i want the best but im saying i want someone that i can be with and feel just natural. i want to be able to laugh and have a breeze walking right through me saying. wow this guy makes me so happy and comfortable. how i love him so. ye ai can love a guy without being super comfortable but thats why i want to date a guy that ive known for so long. or the guy whos sitting in the back righ tin the corner. or the guy in the library hidden behind his glasses and book. i want the guy whos volunteering at some old folks home not because its for school but because he actually wants to. i dont want a guy to be only thinking about getting some ass from a girl. or some ass from the girl he likes. theres more to someone then just the body and the action. but why am i so old fashioned. cant i just be like a normal teen and not feel so hesitant about doing anything with a guy. especially a guy i love.
i say i want so little but really i want too much. i mean this is the world of 2005 so thats wanting too much.

[aznhunnie6o1]

dammit.. i think your soo EFFING hott!! ahh!! i can't wait to teach you some things about photoshop!!

[*Azarel*]

Two days. I miss you. I'm so sorry.

[whywasisostupid]

dear seth,

i'm going to miss you on your trip. why did you even say that last night? do you not care? why would i want to mess with other guys if i have you? why would i do that while your away? Do you think i'm a bad girlfriend or something?

You confuse me.

i love you. happy 4 month. Do you remember? I doubt it.
Hope we have lunch today. Thanks Love.

[miss barnes]

to ______ - hey long time no see. i hope to see u this week just to chill.

to ______ - wow u were unexpected. who knew i'd meet u and we'd hit it off like that?

to _________ - he ^^ (the person above) was trippin over stupid shit

to ________ - something bout u is appealing to me

[whywasisostupid]

dear family,
you piss me off.
im sorry i have to be so friggin rebellious.
i never want to speak to yall ever again.

[Looow]

Dear ______
Ahh I love you. <33

Dear ______
Oh boy I'm so excited about seeing you. I haven't seen you in 6 months? Goodness I can't believe that after being through such hard times, we're still best friends. =)

Dear ______
You a-hole. Just admit it now. You forgot about me. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Who do you think you are? Ugh you are a piece of crap. You're never going to change. What a shame because I was starting to think differently of you.