So gone over *you* Options

[x3chrissyx3]

Here's my recent dilemma. Any help is DEEPLY appreciated.

I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for 3 years and 3 months. He cheated on me with another girl one year, 8 months into our relationship, I found out and he then apologized and promised me he would change and it wouldn't happen again, me, being the foolish person I am, actually believed him. Since then, I've had suspicions, but whenever I mention them he usually gets mad at me so I try to keep my mouth shut as much as possible. This morning however, he told me to check his e-mail for a certain one he was supposed to be recieving so he gave me his password and I went into his account. He has nothing to hide, right? So, I looked through his sent messages, messages in his trash and his inbox, and there were a lot of e-mails from his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, in his sent messages, he was telling her he loved her and what have you. This was one of the e-mails he sent her:

I have the right number, it's the same one you gave me on my other cell..the one i texted you from. I don't know..I mean I WANT to be around..I seriously do...and I know youre a blunt person, I won't tell you you arent...but i mean...I dont know. I'll email you

Okay...I'll explain to you why it hit me like it did. In a previous e-mail she stated she was going for surgery to have her tonsils taken out, and she said if he wanted to be with her that badly (which in a previous e-mail he said he did) he would be around...and he stated in the above that he wants to.

Anyway, the e-mail that made me burst into tears was 2 of them. The one on our anniversary when he told her "I love you" and the other one where he was referring to when she told him she would take him back and he goes "you have no idea how happy that made me." And yada yada yada. Well...the other e-mails were along the same, him saying "I love you. I always loved you and I always will love you" and how much he wants her. She never said I love you back, btw.

I talked to the hoe-bag and she told me he never mentioned he was with me, however he said he was with some girl but it was nothing serious. Interesting.

The last e-mail I showed you above, happened on 5/10/05, just 4 days ago.

I got mad, I cried, and I wrote her 2 letters and I don't know what to do. I want to be with him, but he lied to me...and i think he will continue to do so.

should i trust him?