Untitled--Kait's Poem..., My poem |
 May 28 2005, 09:09 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 70 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 105,614  |
My dreams are laced with him
And its murder to my heart Every morning is a cold relief And every night I'm torn apart It's like a process of withdrawal With the pain is included too And even though I know I shouldn't be I'm still drawn to you... ---What do you think? I'm not sure if it is good or....realllllly bad....please be honest! 
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May 28 2005, 09:56 PM
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#2
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 Death is a promise given to us at birth Group: Official Designer Posts: 4,757 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,459 |
it's really good. i think it would be more good if you use metaphor, compare one thing to another.
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