boys, what else? Options

[cleec]

So boys are all kinds of confusing, don't you agree? Welcome to my problems, hope you are up for a long read.

So first there's the ex, total bastard if I do say so myself. We break up, mutually, and he decides that he is "mad" at me and we don't talk for about a month or so. Then we finally get on good terms, and now he is just a jerk to me. He acts like we never happened and whenever he is around girls he completely ignores me, all the while trying to make me jealous. When we do talk, its usually him talking about how he doesn't like relationships and how he wants to just mess around with girls for now. But then other days he's so nice to me again, and talks about how great it will be when he gets a car cause then we can finally go where we always said we would. He's so hot & cold, and even though he's a complete jerk to me somedays I still can't help but think of him as the guy I used to like so much and date. I don't know what to do about him, should I just forget about him and move on?

Then there's the new guy. He goes to a different school but he still lives a few streets away from me. We went to the same elementary school and recently got reaquainted at a Sweet 16 where we decided to start talking online and stuff. He's really sweet and supposely talks about me to his guy friends all the time. The only problem is that he is really shy, and I mean REALLY shy. I saw him a school event recently and we hugged and stuff but it was super awkward. We always talk about hanging out and stuff, and make plans for the future, but I'm afraid that it won't work out and will be weird when we are alone together. Is there anyway I can get him to be less shy when we hang out, or any pointers on what we can do when we do hang out so its not so awkward?

Then there's the hookup guy, total gorgeous guy, total player, you know, a girl's worst nightmare but best one at the same exact time. We hooked up at a sweet 16, not too long after I broke up with my ex. It was great and he's so awesome and very easy to be around, but he's such a friggen whore. He always talks about hanging out but I know nothing serious will ever come of it, but its weird it's like I cannot say no to him. He's so..suave? It's really hard to explain, it's as if I want him to use me, its crazy. He is always talking to me how we should hang out cause we would have so much fun, and I know we will but it's still wrong at the same time. I don't know what to do about him.

Then there's the sweet, boy next door type. He's a total angel, and by far too good for me. He is so amazing to me, I don't deserve him at all. He says such sweet stuff about me and how amazing he thinks I am, and I feel guilty. He always talks about how he doesn't have respect for most of the teenagers in our grade because they hook up with random guys and always get trashed. And although I don't get trashed, I did hook up with a guy that always gets drunk and hooks up with just about every girl. He thinks I'm different, and better, and I know I'm not like that, but in some ways I like to have fun too. I don't want to live in a sheltered bubble for my teenage life. He's so nice though, and I don't like to blow him off because I know he has been blown off by a girl he really liked int he past. It's not even that I don't like him, it's just that he's too good for me, too sweet, too perfect. What to do?

The ex friend. This one is complicated. We were best friends, totally inseperable. I used to like him, but that flame died out a long time ago. So it was around Valentine's day and we were both dateless and we both went to the V-Day dance together, and we ended up dancing for like 3 hours together. It was so much fun, but he thought of it as more of a just friends dance and he started to really like me, and by really like, I mean love me. Or so he thought. All my friends told me about how much he loved me and wanted to date me and be with me, but I wasn't feeling it because he is the jealous type and his friends are total jackasses. So we kept talking like friends, because he didn't know I knew he liked me and this was fine. Then we went to one sweet 16 and he went psycho jealous on me. He ended up yelling at every guy I danced with and told them not to dance with me anymore because I was his. It was insane, and he acted like I was his property. Obviously I got extremely pissed and I flipped out on him online. We ended things okay but now we never talk. I mean as much as he pissed me off that night, I still miss him as a friend. I don't know what to do, should I talk to him or wait for him to talk to me?

Last but not least, there's the crazy one. This guy, is amazing. He is one of the coolest guys I have ever met, he's hilarious. He was also my first kiss. We both liked eachother, but at different times so it didn't work out. However, despite all the boys I have liked, I have never been able to truly get over him. He is definately one of my best friends and I don't even think I want a relationship with him, I just want to get over him completely. When I went out with my boyfriend I didn't think of him like that, but now its back on. It's weird, when he had a girlfriend we fought all the time, and when I had a boyfriend we also fought all the time. But now that both me and him are single, we never fight. Does that mean something? He isn't the relationship type, but he's one of the few guys I can be myself around and he still loves me for it. And whenever we hang out, its the best time of my life. I want to get over this guy and finally see him as just a friend. HELP!

Sorry that was so long, I just needed to get all of that out. Thanks if you read this and if you can help me!

[Kneuklid Romance]

So boys are all kinds of confusing, don't you agree?

To start things off I'll say "hell yes." 99% of my friends are female and I get that line all the time...

well you yourself better get ready for a long read...because I've analyzed ALL of these types and this is my vantage point. I'm not saying I'm right about these types but this is my experience and analysis from the depths of my mind and soul. Enjoy!

So first there's the ex, total bastard if I do say so myself. We break up, mutually, and he decides that he is "mad" at me and we don't talk for about a month or so. Then we finally get on good terms, and now he is just a jerk to me. He acts like we never happened and whenever he is around girls he completely ignores me, all the while trying to make me jealous. When we do talk, its usually him talking about how he doesn't like relationships and how he wants to just mess around with girls for now. But then other days he's so nice to me again, and talks about how great it will be when he gets a car cause then we can finally go where we always said we would. He's so hot & cold, and even though he's a complete jerk to me somedays I still can't help but think of him as the guy I used to like so much and date. I don't know what to do about him, should I just forget about him and move on?

I've never experienced a boyfriend before because I'm a guy and I hate mostly all males..but I will tell you, this one's a no brainer from my stand point. Sure it's hard to let someone go but...you will like another guy even more as you progress on in life...and someone that treats you bad and just when you finally get on "good" terms with him he ignores you. Think about this...when you date someone for a long time and break up, add up all the drama you two have been through and you get someone that's very bitter. Even though things may seem like it's all good, things will never be the same for him...he will act like this because it's just an inner feeling that doesn't want you to be there because of the sour breakup. From what you said...I'll say this to him, "mutual break up my ass."

Move on honeh~

The Cons: If I ever meet this guy his ass would be laid out in a second. Well that's not really a con in my eyes. One less jackass to worry about. He's the type of male that you would NOT befriend after a breakup. Mutual my ass.

Then there's the new guy. He goes to a different school but he still lives a few streets away from me. We went to the same elementary school and recently got reaquainted at a Sweet 16 where we decided to start talking online and stuff. He's really sweet and supposely talks about me to his guy friends all the time. The only problem is that he is really shy, and I mean REALLY shy. I saw him a school event recently and we hugged and stuff but it was super awkward. We always talk about hanging out and stuff, and make plans for the future, but I'm afraid that it won't work out and will be weird when we are alone together. Is there anyway I can get him to be less shy when we hang out, or any pointers on what we can do when we do hang out so its not so awkward?

This one's a no brainer as well...a really REALLY shy guy + a girl with experience = one odd relationship. Should you get into a relationship with him, the communication level will be VERY low...bringing lots of enigmatic and ambiguity in the relationship. It's fine to hang out but moving it one step further won't do you any good. In the end it wont' do him any good sitting on a date with nothing to say. Stay friends...

The cons: Where's the communication? Where's the affection? Physical isn't everything but keep in mind when you need a hug, you might not get it. He maybe too hesistant. Lacking affection and communication are your responsibilities.

Then there's the hookup guy, total gorgeous guy, total player, you know, a girl's worst nightmare but best one at the same exact time. We hooked up at a sweet 16, not too long after I broke up with my ex. It was great and he's so awesome and very easy to be around, but he's such a friggen whore. He always talks about hanging out but I know nothing serious will ever come of it, but its weird it's like I cannot say no to him. He's so..suave? It's really hard to explain, it's as if I want him to use me, its crazy. I don't know what to do about him.

It seems like you hooked up with this guy solely for the purpose of trying to remove the stress you've endured from this "mutual" breakup. (The fact that it's so called 'mutual' makes me laugh.) Lots and LOTS of girls go for this guy...but just imagine how many lips he's touched and other body parts. The "suave" method he's using isn't very genuine as you'll find in over 80% of the players out there and man whores. Yet another no-brainer. He's fun, he's cuddly but not the long term prince charming you will fall in love with. Stay away for long term use.

The cons: A broken heart, left thinking too much "What if this what if that...", no long term commitment, VERY HUGE lack of trust.

Then there's the sweet, boy next door type. He's a total angel, and by far too good for me. He is so amazing to me, I don't deserve him at all. He says such sweet stuff about me and how amazing he thinks I am, and I feel guilty. He always talks about how he doesn't have respect for most of the teenagers in our grade because they hook up with random guys and always get trashed. And although I don't get trashed, I did hook up with a guy that always gets drunk and hooks up with just about every guy. He thinks I'm different, and better, and I know I'm not like that, but in some ways I like to have fun too. I don't want to live in a sheltered bubble for my teenage life. He's so nice though, and I don't like to blow him off because I know he has been blown off by a girl he really liked int he past. It's not even that I don't like him, it's just that he's too good for me, too sweet, too perfect. What to do?

OK.....now we've hit something interesting...the prince charming next door. This guy definitely is the longer term type material women seek to spend their lives with. However, this is a more mature type and I'm not saying you're immature but it doesn't seem like you're ready for this type either. He says you're different and you're better...he says that for a good reason. You are. You just need to feel it...this is DEFINITELY the marriage type...but you aren't ready. Just look at what you said. [... "I like to have fun too. I don't want to live in a sheltered bubble for my teenage life."] Well that signifies you are yourself not ready for this type of relationship. Too sweet... too perfect...too sheltered. Don't go for this type. (yet.)

The Cons: too structured of a relationship, too feminine sided, protection value / stickup value is lower than normal, very passive. Free spirited. Keep in mind the nicest of guys can turn into the biggest of monsters. He'll be very independent most of the time...

The ex friend. This one is complicated. We were best friends, totally inseperable. I used to like him, but that flame died out a long time ago. So it was around Valentine's day and we were both dateless and we both went to the V-Day dance together, and we ended up dancing for like 3 hours together. It was so much fun, but he thought of it as more of a just friends dance and he started to really like me, and by really like, I mean love me. Or so he thought. All my friends told me about how much he loved me and wanted to date me and be with me, but I wasn't feeling it because he is the jealous type and his friends are total jackasses. So we kept talking like friends, because he didn't know I knew he liked me and this was fine. Then we went to one sweet 16 and he went psycho jealous on me. He ended up yelling at every guy I danced with and told them not to dance with me anymore because I was his. It was insane, and he acted like I was his property. Obviously I got extremely pissed and I flipped out on him online. We ended things okay but now we never talk. I mean as much as he pissed me off that night, I still miss him as a friend. I don't know what to do, should I talk to him or wait for him to talk to me?

Another interesting experience here...danced for 3 hours...jealous type. BEST FRIENDS. Best friends.....that's mostly a "no fly zone" for most women...AND men altogether. Why? There's WAY too many risks here...

A) Broken friendship
B) An Ex.Boyfriend (Hopefully not mutual lmao)

So why take the risk? Sure you danced for 3 hours but one night doesn't compensate for a lifetime commitment. He's also the jealous type...so get ready to spend hours trying to talk sense into him and to be even more sheltered than the prince charming type. The Difference between the prince charming and the best friend...the Prince charming is very free spirited and will let you go anywhere (almost everywhere, anytime) He respects you. The best friend will constantly keep an eye for you (in this case) and will monitor you since he's jealous. Think Martha Stewart's House arrest...more like "date arrest." Jealous types = possible abuse figures and verbal and physical abuse figures. I've seen it happen. I've heard stories. I've experieced it with my own friends telling me of that tragic tale. Stay away.....

The Cons: VERY VERY RISKY...you're walking on a tightrope by dating this guy...especially when you don't feel the same...you're going against your heart and you don't need to do that now...

Last but not least, there's the crazy one. This guy, is amazing. He is one of the coolest guys I have ever met, he's hilarious. He was also my first kiss. We both liked eachother, but at different times so it didn't work out. However, despite all the boys I have liked, I have never been able to truly get over him. He is definately one of my best friends and I don't even think I want a relationship with him, I just want to get over him completely. When I went out with my boyfriend I didn't think of him like that, but now its back on. It's weird, when he had a girlfriend we fought all the time, and when I had a boyfriend we also fought all the time. But now that both me and him are single, we never fight. Does that mean something? He isn't the relationship type, but he's one of the few guys I can be myself around and he still loves me for it. And whenever we hang out, its the best time of my life. I want to get over this guy and finally see him as just a friend. HELP!

haha...the crazy ass huh? The joker the comedy central man...the guy that watches Southpark every night...

...to be yourself around him and to have him appreciate it is something I stress when I look for women. To have that in a relationship is TRULY amazing.....and a WONDERFUL catch. Since you were never able to get over him...he's the type I'd appreciate having around my family...someone to entertain the folks at home while eating a nice quiet dinner with the rents...

..."the best time of your life" when you hang with him eh? Keep your eye peeled on this one...

The Cons: Seriousness might be a bit low, too many jokes and comedy skits get old...

************

So that's my analysis on all of these...the last one seems very sensible. Think about it...you have the time of your life when you're around him and he appreciates you for......YOU. How many guys will you find.....that are like that?

What IS the perfect guy? There is no perfect guy......it's your job as a confidant and emotional support to sit down and talk things out.

Be open minded to his opinions...let him know how you feel...

************

On further analysis it seems like you are still seeking who you are...and aren't ready for true commitment yet...every type of male has a bad thing to them.

It's up to you...

...will you turn those imperfections into perfections?

-Kevyn

[cleec]

Wow you have no idea how much I want to thank you Kneuklid Romance, you helped so much! I think my problem is mainly that every guy I find that might be date-worthy, I somehow find some sort of imperfection about him. Seriously, you're awesome!

[Kneuklid Romance]

......hey it's my pleasure ^_^ I enjoy giving my opinion and state of mind. I learn things from others as well and that knowledge they give is priceless.

My love life has been so tragic and strange...I just hope that no one goes through what I've been through...

..but anyway good luck...and remember that no guy is perfect..but trust me, you'll soon see his personality and how he is. That will last you in the end for sure.

Take care and good luck!

-Kevyn

[aera]

Then there's the new guy. He goes to a different school but he still lives a few streets away from me. We went to the same elementary school and recently got reaquainted at a Sweet 16 where we decided to start talking online and stuff. He's really sweet and supposely talks about me to his guy friends all the time. The only problem is that he is really shy, and I mean REALLY shy. I saw him a school event recently and we hugged and stuff but it was super awkward. We always talk about hanging out and stuff, and make plans for the future, but I'm afraid that it won't work out and will be weird when we are alone together. Is there anyway I can get him to be less shy when we hang out, or any pointers on what we can do when we do hang out so its not so awkward?

like what Kneuklid Romance said, there will be a low communication between the two of you. if you two were to be in a relationship, then he will have to be able open up to you and talk more. if youre the one doing all the talking, then it would be like talking to a wall, right? im not saying that he is a wall, but...
you should stay friends.

Then there's the hookup guy, total gorgeous guy, total player, you know, a girl's worst nightmare but best one at the same exact time. We hooked up at a sweet 16, not too long after I broke up with my ex. It was great and he's so awesome and very easy to be around, but he's such a friggen whore. He always talks about hanging out but I know nothing serious will ever come of it, but its weird it's like I cannot say no to him. He's so..suave? It's really hard to explain, it's as if I want him to use me, its crazy. I don't know what to do about him.

if hes "total player" then he will probably have a tendency to cheat on you. if all the girls want him, then he would probably want the girls too. maybe an acquaintance, but not someone you know you can trust. he will probably lose interest in you very quickly because he sees all these other girls chasing after him.

Then there's the sweet, boy next door type. He's a total angel, and by far too good for me. He is so amazing to me, I don't deserve him at all. He says such sweet stuff about me and how amazing he thinks I am, and I feel guilty. He always talks about how he doesn't have respect for most of the teenagers in our grade because they hook up with random guys and always get trashed. And although I don't get trashed, I did hook up with a guy that always gets drunk and hooks up with just about every girl. He thinks I'm different, and better, and I know I'm not like that, but in some ways I like to have fun too. I don't want to live in a sheltered bubble for my teenage life. He's so nice though, and I don't like to blow him off because I know he has been blown off by a girl he really liked int he past. It's not even that I don't like him, it's just that he's too good for me, too sweet, too perfect. What to do?

if only there were more of these people...
anyways, he seems to treat you like youre someone special to him. hes a type of person you know you can trust to not cheat on you, especially since he says that he has no respect for most of the people at your school. that would mean that the other people are probably people he would not associate with as much. but you also said that you want to have fun as well. does that mean that hes a little boring? perfect boyfriends are over protective. many girls would want a perfect boyfriend, but some people can stand people that are so... perfect. hes doesnt seem your type. keep him as a friend though.

Last but not least, there's the crazy one. This guy, is amazing. He is one of the coolest guys I have ever met, he's hilarious. He was also my first kiss. We both liked eachother, but at different times so it didn't work out. However, despite all the boys I have liked, I have never been able to truly get over him. He is definately one of my best friends and I don't even think I want a relationship with him, I just want to get over him completely. When I went out with my boyfriend I didn't think of him like that, but now its back on. It's weird, when he had a girlfriend we fought all the time, and when I had a boyfriend we also fought all the time. But now that both me and him are single, we never fight. Does that mean something? He isn't the relationship type, but he's one of the few guys I can be myself around and he still loves me for it. And whenever we hang out, its the best time of my life. I want to get over this guy and finally see him as just a friend. HELP!

the funny one, right? out of all of them, he seems to be the... one? since you want to get over him, i guess i shouldnt give my thoughts on him. its hard to get over a guy.

in case you want my thoughts anyways: when the two of you had relationships, you two fought. doesnt that tell you something? it could possibly that the two of you still like each other and fight because you dont want the other one to be in another relationship.



hope that helps... somewhat.

[Kneuklid Romance]

hope that helps... somewhat.

Believe me..it did. Just by giving your feedback you've helped her 10 fold. It's nice to see someone else reply to this thread...because I know there are lots and LOTS of females worldwide that go through the same thing this young lady is going through.

And to my suprise I learned something new from you. That's the beauty of humanity...endless possiblities and knowledge gained. There is no one track mind.

So thank you both ^_^

-Kevyn