Let Go |
 Apr 15 2005, 07:12 PM
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#1
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Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 512 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,682  |
all my hopes and dreams are shattered,
just because my principles were scattered by overpowering lust and need but, destroying my heart is what i succeed . he never took the time to care he ripped my heart, tear by tear . blow by blow, he tells me of his other hoe . and then he's gone, leaving me alone . the cruetly of love is what i've just been shown . i'm thinking of all the things that he'll never know of all the secrets that i'll never show . i'm sorry i didnt fill his time with lingering kisses and beautiful rhyme, with passionate sex and dirty crime . i tried to fit into his f**king mold but cmon, we're only 15 years old . love is for the ignorant and weak the future's always dark, miserable and bleak . " i love you "'s are always lies born down on with cold, dead eyes . who needs to feel that pain when all is done and slain ? who needs to feel their heart break when they find out that the love was fake ? i'm through with this shit, just wanna let go . let the blood drip down, painful and slow . |
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| *Kathleen* |
Apr 15 2005, 07:15 PM
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#2
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Wow. That was powerful. I liked this quote:
QUOTE i tried to fit into his f**king mold
but cmon, we're only 15 years old . |
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| *stephinika* |
Apr 16 2005, 12:02 AM
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#3
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that was very well written, it had powerful words and a great flow. i loved it.
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Apr 16 2005, 12:06 AM
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#4
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
wow..i like the poem...good job..
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| *mzkandi* |
Apr 16 2005, 07:09 AM
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#5
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wowee this poem flowed with ease. I loved it!
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Apr 16 2005, 11:02 AM
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#6
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 ticktock. Group: Member Posts: 1,138 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 118,235 |
I followed this poem so easily. I love it =) It gets deeper&deeper as it goes on<3
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Apr 16 2005, 06:02 PM
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#7
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Yeah, the flow is good. I like this line:
who needs to feel their heart break when they find out that the love was fake ? Very powerful. Great rhyming. Awesome job!! |
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Apr 21 2005, 11:39 AM
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#8
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 .bubblicious inspirations. @ www.bubbliciousoul.com Group: Member Posts: 466 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,228 |
very nicely written..
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Jun 4 2005, 06:52 PM
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#9
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 cherish the past.embrace the future.live for today Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 131,330 |
i luv how ur poems are so well written, and flow so naturally. theyre all so deep, keep it up!
do you have a fictionpress account? if not, u should, ur amazing! |
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Jun 5 2005, 03:01 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 52 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 133,454 |
I agree with the all of the above. Good job!
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