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Wanting a gf vs Needing one
MrElsewhere
post Apr 20 2005, 11:54 PM
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Okay so here's my situation: My exgirlfriend and I broke up like a month and a half ago. Healing process and what not is still going on, cuz it was a sorta long relationship(for middle school): 11 months. But now I still have feelings for this girl from last year. I guess i never really stopped liking her, but anyways, she also likes me. So now I'm trying to decide whether or not to ask her to be my girlfriend. So now I come to my problem: I don't know whether or not I want her to be my girlfriend because I like her or because I just want to have a girlfriend again.. Can anybody help me tell the difference?
 
 
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fuzz4
post Apr 21 2005, 12:13 AM
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this is a hard subject. No one can really answer this question except for yourself. If you think that maybe you just want to date her because you want a girlfriend, you might wanna hold off on that. Besides being single can be fun. You get to flirt around and your not tied down to anybody. But if you really do like her then I sugest to u start hanging out with her more. Either way I think you should step back and take a little more time to think about your position at the moment. If the girl really likes you she'll understand because you had a "long" relationship and your still confused.
 
dahding
post Apr 21 2005, 06:02 AM
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whoa whoa whoa. u never really stopped liking her? then why did u get into a relationship with ur ex? that's not cool. anywho, i think it's just the want of a gf. it's hard to tell really. just go over exactly why u like her now. that might help. sorry i can't say more. mellow.gif
 
_sarcastic_
post Apr 21 2005, 06:26 AM
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^ agreed, why did you get into the relationship with your ex if you at the same time liked someone else?
i don't think you should get into another relationship right now, it sorta sounds like you're desperate for another gf. i guess give it time and see
 
Shattered_Hope
post Apr 21 2005, 03:44 PM
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I think you should wait a little while longer...to see if you really like this girl...or if you're just on the rebound...and like her because you want a girlfriend. Trying talking to some other girls and if you get the same feeling when you're with them...then you'll know that you only liked her because you wanted a girlfriend. But if the feeling you get when you talk to these other girls are not the same as when you're talking to her...then you'll know that you like her not because you want a girlfriend but because of who she is..
 
cHuNsAbAbIe012
post Apr 21 2005, 05:23 PM
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i think it's both. u did have a long relationship with someone so u probly need someone to be with cuz ur so use to that. but u also like the girl n u wanna be with her. u just become more sensitive to the way feel about pple. they come faster cuz u wanna b with someone but u do like that person but it's possible u might rush the way u feel about one person because u want wat u had with ur ex. u jsut kind of have to figure it out yourself. make mistakes cuz...then u wont learn from it. but yea...maybe wait a lil longer. it's really up to u tho.
 
*Azarel*
post Apr 21 2005, 05:26 PM
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There's no such thing as needing a girlfriend. Seems you're on rebound. Stay friends, don't waste a perfectly good friendship.
 
MrElsewhere
post Apr 21 2005, 06:35 PM
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QUOTE(dahding @ Apr 21 2005, 6:02 AM)
whoa whoa whoa. u never really stopped liking her? then why did u get into a relationship with ur ex? that's not cool.
*

how the hell am i supposed to know? when i was with my ex, i didnt like her. Hormones & emotions are running all over the place. o.O its hard to keep track of them all. Maybe i should have said it differently. Agh, its hard to find the right words, i think in pictures so its like..blah. I used to like her. Got with exgf, stopped liking her. Then broke up. NOw like her again. Simple enough? So yeah.. I'll just wait.
 
*mzkandi*
post Apr 21 2005, 06:41 PM
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Well if you like someone alot, I did see that as you needing a girlfriend, I see that as you like her alot and want to be her to be your girlfriend. You can then ask yourself why do you want a girlfriend. Do you want one because your lonely and you need someone to spend time with or do you really like and you want to take it to that next level. If you want a girlfriend only because you are lonely I dont likes a good idea to date someone soley because of that.
 
heyyfrankie
post Apr 21 2005, 07:40 PM
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i don't really think anyone needs a girlfriend...it is just something that you REALLY want. it is like soda: you def don't need to live or function but you really want it to be there (well, for me! tongue.gif). i think you should wait a little bit longer and see if the feelings are still there. if you havn't completely "healed" from your last relationship, than i think that getting with this new girl would be a bad move, imo. _unsure.gif
 

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