death, in a friend's family... |
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 May 6 2005, 08:55 PM
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#1
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 and so it is  Group: Human Posts: 1,304 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,085  |
Well, I guess the subject's self-explainitory, huh? Basically, my best friend's grandpa died the other day, and I really haven't seen her all that much since, because she wasn't at school due to wake. The funeral's tomorrow, and I'm invited, but I just don't know what to say to her.
 I've never had anybody close to me die before, so I really don't know how she feels, because I've never been placed in that situation before. Some of answers are obvious, but I don't know, death is just a hard thing to deal with, and I'm just trying to help in any way that I can. Any suggestions?
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May 6 2005, 09:02 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Designer Posts: 4,591 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 77,305 |
Oh sorry to hear that...
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May 6 2005, 09:08 PM
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#3
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 Hello there. Group: Member Posts: 343 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 78,879 |
It depends how close your friend was to her grandfather. The standard thing to say is "I'm sorry for your loss" or something along those lines, and if she wants to talk about it then go ahead. There's not much else you can say with a matter like this is she doesnt feel comfortable with the subject. Anyways, I'm sorry to hear about your friends' loss, I hope she's dealing with it ok.
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May 6 2005, 09:41 PM
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#4
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asian sensation Group: Member Posts: 773 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,091 |
i know how you feel. x_x all i did was try my best to comfort her. and change the subject sometimes.
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May 6 2005, 11:42 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,541 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,332 |
Comfort her and be her crying shoulder. Just being at the funeral would probably make her feel so much better.
Also, cook for the family. Usually the family is so saddened, they don't cook for awhile. A home cooked meal would say a lot. I dunno, Mom did that when a close friend of mine died. |
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May 7 2005, 03:51 AM
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#6
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 boo Group: Member Posts: 5,512 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 71,765 |
Just go to the funeral and say 'I'm really sorry'
If she wants to cry, let her. If she wants to talk, let her. Just make her feel comfortable. |
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May 7 2005, 07:54 AM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 4,357 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,115 |
Just be like "sorry about your grandfather, he must've meant a lot to you" or something and be there when she needs you. And yeah, you should cook something or bringsomething over and stuff.
Sorry to hear about her grandfather :[ |
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May 7 2005, 09:51 AM
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#8
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questions make me blue. Group: Member Posts: 2,608 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,796 |
just hug her, and be honest with her. tell her that her grandpa is in a better place now. show her that you care about her loss.
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May 7 2005, 09:53 AM
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#9
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 kristin Group: Member Posts: 5,705 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,985 |
Just make sure you tell her you're there for her. I think at a time like that all you need is to know someone is there and you can go to..Sorry about her loss
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May 7 2005, 11:55 AM
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#10
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SMILE! Group: Member Posts: 80 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 135,089 |
My father passed away when I was younger. It made me feel better when I knew my family and friends were there to help me. But I hate it when people pity me. Whenever they talk about their families around me, they would always stop so I wouldn't feel 'uncomfortable' around them.
What I'm trying to say is be there for your friend. Show her that you care about what happened and will be there for her. But don't treat her like she'll fall to pieces whenever you talk to her.... but it's different for every person I don't think that really made sense  ... but I hope that helped a bit.
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May 7 2005, 12:01 PM
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#11
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 Oh Goddamnit. Group: Member Posts: 711 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 46,884 |
I think the best thing you can do for her is to just be there for her, always be available to talk, especially if she was very close to her grandfather. Oh and hugs, hugs make the world go 'round!
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May 7 2005, 07:29 PM
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#12
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 *scribble scribble* Group: Member Posts: 1,314 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 119,610 |
hug her and comfort her. tell her that youll be there for her if she needs you.
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| *stephinika* |
May 7 2005, 07:39 PM
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#13
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Guest |
i'm really sorry to hear that, but yeah a friend of a friend of mine's dad died just recently too...the best you can do is just be there for her and be a shoulder to cry on.
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May 7 2005, 07:51 PM
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#14
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,799 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,450 |
QUOTE(ThePrincessofTKD @ May 7 2005, 9:51 AM) just hug her, and be honest with her. tell her that her grandpa is in a better place now. show her that you care about her loss.  I agree. Lte her know you're there for her. |
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May 7 2005, 11:50 PM
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#15
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s w e e t e s t Group: Member Posts: 808 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 46,149 |
well telll your friend that her grandpa is in a better place where he is enjoying it. that her grandpa won't be happy to see that they are crying over him. you should be honest and telll her what you think.. support her all the way and say that things would turn out better. and that your grandfather would always watch over you. . . and protecting you wherever you go. sorry to hear about that though .
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May 8 2005, 08:02 AM
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#16
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
i'm sorry. my granddad passed away even before i was born, so i've never seen him.
anyways, just be there for her when she needs you |
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May 8 2005, 09:28 AM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,881 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 132,134 |
wow; thats hard. just tell her what yu realy feel
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| *iNyCxShoRT* |
May 8 2005, 07:40 PM
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#18
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Tell her that you're sorry for her loss but also tell her that she should know that you'll always have her back and be there for her whenever she needs to talk.
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May 9 2005, 03:45 PM
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#19
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 Grrrrrrr Group: Member Posts: 801 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 123,696 |
last year the samething happened to my best friend. i just went to the wake and just said i was sorry, if you need me im here. I also made her a card and had friends at school sign it
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May 9 2005, 04:14 PM
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#20
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 This bitch better work! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,681 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,095 |
my speech book, i read about nonverbal communication and it says that most of the time, a touch is more effective than any words.
...just give her a hug and hold her.  and i am sooo sorry to hear that. v__v |
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