what are friends for?, do we have a hidden agenda? |
 Mar 30 2004, 01:01 AM
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#1
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 !shobe!  Group: Member Posts: 664 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,912  |
the first thing that we look for in people is some desirable quality.
in school, we ask them to help us with homework. outside, we ask them for help in our social life. they're always there to help or assist us in some way. so why do we make friends? are they merely stepping stones for us? this came up because of a conversation i had with my mom.. she said... "the puspose of having friends is to get help. not to just keep talking and going out." it's kinda like she was telling me that "friends" are merely tools... your thoughts on this topic.... please? |
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Mar 30 2004, 01:13 AM
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#2
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 :hammer: Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,849 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,700 |
tools ?!
friends help you through the think and thin.. not only do they help you but they also comfort you :D friends are comforters ! oh oh, they're like family, but they're not :D |
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Mar 30 2004, 02:53 AM
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#3
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 x mar muffins *yuuuum Group: Member Posts: 874 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,620 |
friends are there no matter what, they are the ones you can talk to about ANYTHING, like today, my friends really helped me out, well you give a little, you get alot back from people..
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Mar 30 2004, 04:41 AM
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#4
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 Darlin dont u know? The water is poisoned Group: Member Posts: 554 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,668 |
QUOTE(x_angawhomps @ Mar 30 2004, 1:13 AM) tools ?! friends help you through the think and thin.. not only do they help you but they also comfort you :D friends are comforters ! oh oh, they're like family, but they're not :D yeah, haha |
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Mar 30 2004, 10:11 AM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 276 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,862 |
friends are the best thing a person can have, in my opinion. they're there to have a good time with ya, but at the same time, they're there if you really need them too. i've known my best friend for half of our lives--that's ten years. and i don't know what i'd do without her. yeah, we get help from each other with homework and boys and stuff, but i don't know what i'd do if i didn't have her just to talk to and hang out with to relax. your mom's kinda right... thye wouldn't be your friends if they weren't willing to help you out from time to time. that's what friends do.
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Mar 30 2004, 07:10 PM
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#6
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!shobe! Group: Member Posts: 664 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,912 |
QUOTE(starling @ Mar 30 2004, 10:11 AM) your mom's kinda right... thye wouldn't be your friends if they weren't willing to help you out from time to time. that's what friends do. i think you got me confused... my mom wants me to make friends so that i have "resources." she thinks that i'm completely wasting my time with my current friends.. she's just looking at "friends" with the idea that once you used them for that "hidden agenda," then you can forget them. (which i think is very wrong...) for me, i think that friends are someone to lean on, physically and emotionally. they aren't there just to use, i.e. for help with hw.... they're there as companions.. they're the ones i turn to if i have a problem that i can't discuss with family.. if not for my friends, i don't think that i would be emotionally stable. they're the reason why i'm still alive right now... (literally...) |
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Mar 30 2004, 10:53 PM
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#7
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 durian Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,124 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,860 |
People do come in and out of your life, but the ones you'lla lways remember ar eyour friends because in some way, they somehow DO help you, but not as a tool. THey help you by making you laugh, by being that simple shoulder to cry on, or just being there to cheer you on at a game or something. Friendship is a little undescribably, but the enigma of it makes exciting. Each friend is different somehow, but in the end, they will always somehow change your life, sometiems for the worse, but mainly for the better.
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Mar 31 2004, 12:28 AM
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#8
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 advanced newbie... S2 Group: Member Posts: 3,504 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 752 |
hmm... i think my mom is almost like your mom, aud_chua. i guess it's because i ono...
but i think frends should be like family and they shouldhelp you in emotional and physical ways... i dont think we use them. but if you think about it, we sometimes take advantage of our frends by like asking them to back us up and stuff. but i guess its all part out of love...  i ono. i mjust confused myself now! hahaabut i definetly think your mom is wrong about how ur frends are like a waste of time. frends= true to you, not just for help, but as frends, period. they should be there for you, and you shoud be there for them.
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| *CEP* |
Mar 31 2004, 01:05 AM
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#9
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Guest |
Friends are there to lean on when you no longer have the energy to keep yourself up. They're the one who takes your hands and pull you back on to your feet.
... Damnit I should've read aud_chua's post before i typed up mine... - Chinkieeyedpnoi |
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Mar 31 2004, 08:13 AM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,077 |
A friend is patient; a friend is kind; a friend is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. a friend does not insist on his/her own way; a friend is not irritable or resentful; a friend does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. a friend along with you bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
friendship never ends. A friend is one you grow to love and defines love. Associates are those you use as tools. But if you see them as just tools their not friends. Because if you just use people there is no mutual respect. What is mutual respect? Thats love. ANd friendship is one of the biggest forms of love. one real friend is better than 10 fake ones. |
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Mar 31 2004, 10:32 AM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 276 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,862 |
QUOTE(aud_chua @ Mar 30 2004, 7:10 PM) my mom wants me to make friends so that i have "resources." she thinks that i'm completely wasting my time with my current friends.. she's just looking at "friends" with the idea that once you used them for that "hidden agenda," then you can forget them. (which i think is very wrong...)  ok, nevermind, your mom's not right. that's not what friends are for. not at all. but friends are quite possibly the best thing anyone can have. |
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Mar 31 2004, 03:28 PM
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#12
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
wtf. where did u get that idea? frenz arent stepping stones or n e thing lyke dat. frenz r there wen u need em, they also help ya feel betterz wen ur sad.
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| *jooleeah* |
Mar 31 2004, 06:10 PM
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#13
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friends as stepping stones? naah i don't think so.
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Mar 31 2004, 07:19 PM
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#14
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!shobe! Group: Member Posts: 664 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,912 |
*sigh*
it just makes me so mad when my mom tells me those things.. like one time, she even told me, "when i was your age, i made friends with so many guys to get their help. they taught me trigonometry [and blah, blah, blah]. that's what they're for. to help you with your homework and not just talk and talk.. You should use your resources (yea, please.. )." see how f-ed up she is??? i mean.. if friends are only stepping stones like she said, then i never want to have friends and hurt them. |
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Mar 31 2004, 08:05 PM
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#15
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,077 |
QUOTE(aud_chua @ Mar 31 2004, 7:19 PM) *sigh* it just makes me so mad when my mom tells me those things.. like one time, she even told me, "when i was your age, i made friends with so many guys to get their help. they taught me trigonometry [and blah, blah, blah]. that's what they're for. to help you with your homework and not just talk and talk.. You should use your resources (yea, please.. )." see how f-ed up she is??? i mean.. if friends are only stepping stones like she said, then i never want to have friends and hurt them. I could tell you why your mom says this. Face it... after high school friends start to fade away. Our parents have lost the time and need for friends. And as they age they grow to learn not everyone can be trusted. THey realize that friends though they support you now and help you they will not always be the ones to help you when your older. (though not always the case but mostly the case.) What your mom is getting here is that in the future your friends will not help you except give morale. They have been surrounded by the adult world of people you cant trust. To get where you need to achieve. That they lost what it means to have friends. I believe the older we get... our minds get corrupted on the true meaning of friendship. My parents has. your mom has. Im sure we will too. |
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Mar 31 2004, 08:15 PM
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#16
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 doot doot doot Group: Member Posts: 1,803 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,954 |
interestingly enough, my parents says that friends are people for u to take advantage of or ppl u use for ur benefit.. i totally disagree cuz my friends arent there for me to take advantage of... but they always find a way to argue with me and say that u help them they help u, sigh i guess in reality thats how adults see friends? i dont know, i still totally disagree but i i cant prove them wrong.. ive seen ppl asking each other for hws and thats basically it and thats y they're nice to each other..
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Apr 1 2004, 10:56 PM
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#17
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!shobe! Group: Member Posts: 664 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,912 |
looking at the way things are now, i firmly believe that friends are not for us to use... cuz just the other day, i got a letter from UC Berkeley.. i wasn't accepted. i didn't ask for help or anything.. i just sat there. but my friends came over to my place and cheered my up, took me out and all that.. i didn't have to ask them for anything.. they knew how i felt... they didn't expect anything back...
my mother's wrong... and nothing she says will ever make me think otherwise... i just hope that i won't grow up to be like her... cold... distant... |
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Apr 2 2004, 05:50 AM
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#18
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,077 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,904 |
I think that in life everyone has some really close friends who are really true friends.
But of coz I must admit, there are just some people who you are friends with just to get some benefit or other. Now these people are your stepping stones. |
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| *CJ1* |
Apr 3 2004, 10:10 AM
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#19
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Guest |
"People walk in and out in your life but only friend will leave a trace in your heart."
Yeah... Kinda what Christina (Just_Dream) said... Friends are tools, in someway, but we're their tools too... They help us and we help them... |
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Apr 3 2004, 11:28 AM
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#20
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 143 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,011 |
Friends are there to tell you that your boyfriend or girlfriend is hot or not.
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Apr 4 2004, 01:11 AM
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#21
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 its a hamster named Boo!!! ^^ hehe Group: Member Posts: 198 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,901 |
friends can help u get ahead...but mostly they're there to keep u from feeling lonely.
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Apr 4 2004, 12:53 PM
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#22
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 ilikeyouSofreakingmuch. Group: Member Posts: 2,014 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 643 |
Friends are there to cheer you up, make you feel better, and help you out!
Reminder: Sometimes friends are there to piss you off too 
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Apr 4 2004, 11:30 PM
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#23
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doot doot doot Group: Member Posts: 1,803 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,954 |
i love my friends
lols yeah there are a certain few that piss u off but hey maybe that makes the friendship stronger 
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Apr 5 2004, 06:51 AM
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#24
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 Coolerator Group: Member Posts: 413 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,442 |
Have me as a friend for a day can have your questions answer. A true friend is like you support. Without a good support, your house falls and so will you by going all depressional. Friends are there for anything. Specially hw cuz i never do mine
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Apr 5 2004, 02:14 PM
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#25
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 47 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,975 |
hmm...what would we do without our tools?
And what would we do without our arms and legs? So, I see your point, but what is so bad about needing tools? |
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