time doesnt heal, im still not over him |
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 Mar 19 2005, 01:28 PM
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#1
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Gackt's Wife  Group: Member Posts: 411 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,549  |
so its been a little over 2 months since me n my ex broke up, and about a month since he decided to stop talking to me altogether. trust me i WANT to get over him and ive TRIED to get over him... but its still no use. ive tried doing things to get my mind off him but... no use. it seems like when time passes by it gets wrose every day and n ot helping at all... and time passes by sooo slowly that... i get the recconize all the feelings that im haveing... im not putting myself down... you think i WANT to feel this way? i dont but... i dont know... nowadays i find myself just moping around and such
hows he doing? not better than me... from what i can see, he's depressed. how do i kno? cause the last time he took drugs was when he was depressed (long before we met) and hes taking drugs now and im worried about him... id help him but... i dont know exactly if I AM apart of the problem. he's even dreaming about suicide... i really dont know if he's like this cause of me or whatever im my opinion i really think we should get back together cause its obvious our lives are miserable witout each other... and i keep thinking he broke up with me for the same reason... he wants me to be happy with someone elce.... cause we're not TOTAL oppisites but... not exactly alike on the social scale... he told me to find someone better than him cause he thinks HE isnt good enough... i have a strong feeling he want to be with me but he's forcing himself to stay away... (i dont have a bad past so i dont kno y...) he even said on his xanga "but it still seems like im lieing to myself while putting on a show for everyone elce" i COULD talk to him... but i dont kno if he'd want to cause he told me to leave him alone... im scared to... ive never felt so low about myself 
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Mar 19 2005, 01:31 PM
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#2
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 Fearless? Group: Member Posts: 215 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 100,183 |
Woah hes really depressed. Your in a big situation and if you do talk to him tell him sucide is not the way.
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Mar 19 2005, 04:50 PM
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#3
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 THE EVERGLOW Group: Member Posts: 95 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 114,409 |
oh wow. why do you like him? write down all the reasons why you still love him. and then go through each reason and prove it wrong. and then get him help, because he's depressed, obviously. and just end all contact with him, and you'll be fine.
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Mar 19 2005, 05:08 PM
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#4
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 This is all my luck, it's all I got. Group: Member Posts: 1,373 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 76,532 |
Oh sorry you have to go threw this, if you still love him then try to talk to him. Especially if his thinking about commiting suicide, which is not the answer...
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Mar 19 2005, 05:20 PM
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#5
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Gackt's Wife Group: Member Posts: 411 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,549 |
i HAVE ended all contact with him... just doesnt seem to do any good
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Mar 19 2005, 09:47 PM
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#6
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 106,460 |
All I have to say is...
That you are not responsible for his actions... that doensn't mean u shouldn't help him... it jsut means that u are not part of him if you don't want to... |
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Mar 19 2005, 09:56 PM
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#7
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 dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
here are my two cents...
time DOES heal, two months is nothing, my ex suffered a year trying to get over me...it's been about 2 years since we broke up and sometimes i still think he's not over it....  like what Shino_Boi_X_Hunter if he really does commit suicide, it's not your fault...it's never anyone's fault but the person who kills themself. he can choose not to, he can choose to try to get over you and not be depressed but apparently he's chosen the depressed path...tell your guidance counselor, she can decide from these two options: 1.)his parents will have escort him to a psychiatrist and present proof of it the next day 2.) if it's really serious, like if he has a plan, he has to be sent to the a hospital for evauation... it does sound bad...but i don't think you can handle this yourself...actually, i don't think a lot of people can handle these situations...your ex and his parents can keep this psychiatrist stuff hush hush... it sounds like he really needs some help...
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Mar 19 2005, 11:17 PM
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#8
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
I think you should talk to him....even if he might not be depressed from not being with you. Just tell him exactly what he means to you. And how you miss him.
But to tell you the truth...you've only waited two months..and that isn't a long time..besides..it might also be because you haven't met anyone else. Him doing drugs is his choice. All you can do is to help him out by saying that drugs is not the answer. And if he ever does commit suicide then it would be because he couldn't handle the stress and problems in his life and needed a way out. Meh, many possibilities. Well...for now...I don't think he needs a girlfriend...or maybe he does..but I think all he does need right now is someone who cares and will be there to talk to him. 
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Mar 19 2005, 11:59 PM
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#9
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
QUOTE(chii @ Mar 19 2005, 4:56 PM) here are my two cents... time DOES heal, two months is nothing, my ex suffered a year trying to get over me...it's been about 2 years since we broke up and sometimes i still think he's not over it.... like what Shino_Boi_X_Hunter if he really does commit suicide, it's not your fault...it's never anyone's fault but the person who kills themself. he can choose not to, he can choose to try to get over you and not be depressed but apparently he's chosen the depressed path...tell your guidance counselor, she can decide from these two options: 1.)his parents will have escort him to a psychiatrist and present proof of it the next day 2.) if it's really serious, like if he has a plan, he has to be sent to the a hospital for evauation... it does sound bad...but i don't think you can handle this yourself...actually, i don't think a lot of people can handle these situations...your ex and his parents can keep this psychiatrist stuff hush hush... it sounds like he really needs some help...  i agree...but talk to him and try to stop him...talk him out of it...if it doesnt work,tell his parents.... |
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Mar 20 2005, 12:03 AM
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#10
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 deleted Group: Member Posts: 3,168 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 92,276 |
i broke up w/ my ex about a little over a year ago and everytime i think i have ,moved on i see his face or hear his name and i am back to square one
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Mar 20 2005, 12:16 AM
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#11
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 unify and defeat... divide and crumble Group: Member Posts: 2,759 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,379 |
time heals everything. It doesn't mean you'll totally forget about him, or totally be over him, but sooner or later there will be a time where it'll be ok for you to see him with someone else, and you'll feel fine being with someone else. You clinging onto him won't help him, it'll only make him dependant on you. Help him be strong, and support him, but don't only feel sorry for him
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Mar 20 2005, 11:48 AM
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#12
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Gackt's Wife Group: Member Posts: 411 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,549 |
hey guys... u really made me feel better
 ill talk to him in two weeks, after spring break... ill take the risk of feeling bad and might end up crying again but i really have nothing to lose. ahem... do u think him being on the goth side has nething to do with this 
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Mar 20 2005, 01:02 PM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 51 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 113,933 |
QUOTE(whatiismae @ Mar 19 2005, 4:50 PM) oh wow. why do you like him? write down all the reasons why you still love him. and then go through each reason and prove it wrong. and then get him help, because he's depressed, obviously. and just end all contact with him, and you'll be fine. I don't think you should end contact with him, though you said you already have, he needs someone to be by his side, an older friend he can confide in...my best friend a few years back commited suicide, she said she felt that her old friends left her and she just couldn't go on, thats one reason I think you shouldn't ditch him...even if he doesn't like you as a girlfriend anymore you should be there for him as support... and being goth has nothing to do with this, I myself am goth and "goth" is just how some people label others for wearing black and listening to metal or rock...the fact that he's depressed could be from anything, you just need to talk to him about it all....I think once you've talked to him about being suicidal then you can talk to him about your relationship btw I broke up with my ex a long time ago, but every once in a while I think about him, but eventually, time will heal, for some its just longer.... |
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Mar 20 2005, 01:28 PM
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#14
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life is so ironic... Group: Member Posts: 73 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,671 |
First of all the drugs is his bussiness not urs if he wanna hurt himself and his body why do u care?
okay, fine u care bout him and you love him but if he really misses u that much and hes madd depressed bout it then he should be man enough and try to get back w. you right? okay he jus want you to be happy w. someone else. but its jus an excuse. cuz in a guys mind, guys dont like to share anything expecially when it comes to girls. so "u can be happy w. someone else" is jus telling u, i dont like u - go look for someone else cuz i dont care if i c u w. another guy THINK bout it if he really wants u to be happy he would stay w. u so he can guarantee ur happiness making sure no one will hurt u AT ALL. Besides he should know that you are happy with him. so instead of him "giving u away" if he really likes u he should try to make the relationship work I think you should jus let him go. about the suicide thing, ahaha u can only imagine how many lies a guy tell aday. unless hes going to cut himself or jump off a building right infront of ur eyes. dont believe it. if u think this relationship is worth it go ahead. cuz love is a battle field not "lets play who can be more benevolent" Sorry if u think this post was long. =P |
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Mar 20 2005, 01:50 PM
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#15
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gRaCiE Group: Member Posts: 350 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 96,997 |
i know how ur feeling but the only reason y ur not starting to get over him is cuz u think that there is a high possibility that u guys could get back together because u think that he isnt over u at all. if u realize that he's not coming back to u then the healing will start.
second yea...its good to be worried about him. u should be becuase if u werent then u never loved him but sometimes wen people ask u to leave them alone...they're just crying out for help. he might not be but seeing that he's doing drugs n wen u know that he only does that wen he's depressed....well just ask him if he can just talk to u as a friend about the problems he's having. but then he might actually want u to leave him alone. third...he wants u to be happy with someone else becuase he might be having problems...like big problems. maybe the reason he started drugs was y he broke up with u? maybe he's in gang related activities or having problems with his family or someone he knew passed away? there are so many possibilities. either he doesnt like u as much n so he doesnt think he can make u happy or he really thinks he doesnt deserve someone as good as u. maybe u were to good to be true for him? it happens...guys think like that too. its hard to tell u wat he's thinking n wat u should do cuz i dont know him n i dont know u so the possibities go either way. if he sounds really REALLY annoyed with u calling him all the time or at all then just dont talk to him at all cuz that means he doesnt like u n e more. well i dont really know wat he's thinking so...iono. dont listen to me. |
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Mar 20 2005, 01:54 PM
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#16
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 who ma bitch? you ma bitch, bitch. Group: Member Posts: 1,920 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 55,278 |
QUOTE(cHuNsAbAbIe012 @ Mar 20 2005, 10:50 AM) i know how ur feeling but the only reason y ur not starting to get over him is cuz u think that there is a high possibility that u guys could get back together because u think that he isnt over u at all. if u realize that he's not coming back to u then the healing will start. 'second yea...its good to be worried about him. u should be becuase if u werent then u never loved him but sometimes wen people ask u to leave them alone...they're just crying out for help. he might not be but seeing that he's doing drugs n wen u know that he only does that wen he's depressed....well just ask him if he can just talk to u as a friend about the problems he's having. but then he might actually want u to leave him alone. third...he wants u to be happy with someone else becuase he might be having problems...like big problems. maybe the reason he started drugs was y he broke up with u? maybe he's in gang related activities or having problems with his family or someone he knew passed away? there are so many possibilities. either he doesnt like u as much n so he doesnt think he can make u happy or he really thinks he doesnt deserve someone as good as u. maybe u were to good to be true for him? it happens...guys think like that too. its hard to tell u wat he's thinking n wat u should do cuz i dont know him n i dont know u so the possibities go either way. if he sounds really REALLY annoyed with u calling him all the time or at all then just dont talk to him at all cuz that means he doesnt like u n e more. well i dont really know wat he's thinking so...iono. dont listen to me. ditto 
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Mar 20 2005, 03:14 PM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,220 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 81,808 |
its called LOVE lol..dnt worry you gotz a whole life ahead, ya gon' get ova him
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Mar 20 2005, 07:17 PM
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#18
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Gackt's Wife Group: Member Posts: 411 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,549 |
QUOTE(lilshelil @ Mar 20 2005, 1:28 PM) okay he jus want you to be happy w. someone else. but its jus an excuse. cuz in a guys mind, guys dont like to share anything expecially when it comes to girls. so "u can be happy w. someone else" is jus telling u, i dont like u - go look for someone else cuz i dont care if i c u w. another guy THINK bout it if he really wants u to be happy he would stay w. u so he can guarantee ur happiness making sure no one will hurt u AT ALL. Besides he should know that you are happy with him. so instead of him "giving u away" if he really likes u he should try to make the relationship work actually, what cHuNsAbAbIe012 is true... he thought he couldnt make me happy... he used the same excuse the first time he broke up with me, and he came back when i thought he wouldnt |
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