Short lil rap, I'll call it soldier |
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Short lil rap, I'll call it soldier |
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#1
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![]() Hello my name is Yula, I'm a baller! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 329 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 125,918 ![]() |
Soldier
Were the true soldiers the last one to leave the battle as we pour our shells through the streets, our Guns rattle watch as kill everything in site as we unload our ammunition We're soldjas till we die, self- sufficient we wave our tatooed flags proudly our hearts to deep as they're burried profoundly we ride in groups as we attempt to spread our terror death can wait as the bloodshed seems nearer catching a court case on trial for murder a street-smart, armed soul burgler You arrive at the crime scenes the victims all missing the smoke from the guns still hissing use your fancy technology you cant frame us roll out; with two guns blazing as we cuss bandanas covering our mouths as we enter the banks bring out what you got you cant kill a hustler be it ariplanes or tanks watch as we come a week earlier in a vovlo poor as hell some poor sucker framed for murder in a cell next week we come in a Benz we dont know what the hell to do with all the tens Wastin money on crack disgracin our race victims face head down in the dirt coverin his face 50 dropped a line saying this is how we do it he might as well move over he's a commercialized poser he's two bit say he survived 5 shots and he knows it's luck he's lucky the doctors didn't give up on him and let the bullet stay stuck they should have done the world a favor too bad he was passed out counldn't feel nothin yet he says its harder then labor Well we got the Bronx, The Projects and all the ghettos fat joe said N*gg*r and now he's gettin stomped by B*tch*s in stilletos ah well now that im done police on ma tale im the undergrounds most wanted on the run. Yes, this was not my best or no where near it, i just wrote it. What do you guys think. I'm lacking insparation these days. |
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#2
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,220 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 81,808 ![]() |
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#3
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![]() PHIL ˝ ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,663 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,982 ![]() |
See now this is quality rap. Good job Winter.
-Phil- |
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#4
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![]() ticktock. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,138 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 118,235 ![]() |
SHORT LiL RAP??
anyways, i like it, better than reading jason raps all the time |
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#5
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![]() My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 ![]() |
Maybe it's because I'm not a big fan of rap, but I don't really like this one. It seems like all your raps are about the same thing.. It's good for one rap, but when you're just complaining about society, it gets annoying.
The rhyming and flow's really nice though and it sure beats Jason. But for some reason I think you may have used a tool to get your rhymes (rhymezone.com). Hopefully, I'm wrong. |
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#6
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![]() Hello my name is Yula, I'm a baller! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 329 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 125,918 ![]() |
QUOTE(AkaRyux @ Apr 29 2005, 4:04 PM) Maybe it's because I'm not a big fan of rap, but I don't really like this one. It seems like all your raps are about the same thing.. It's good for one rap, but when you're just complaining about society, it gets annoying. The rhyming and flow's really nice though and it sure beats Jason. But for some reason I think you may have used a tool to get your rhymes (rhymezone.com). Hopefully, I'm wrong. ROFL, I've never even seen that site before. I didn't know it existed, what does it do? Damn, why didn't you tell me about a rhymer for a English Literature essay we had to do. I don't use on though. I open up a word document or write on a napkin and write whatever flows. |
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#7
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![]() Bardic Nation ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 ![]() |
like that one bad one i posted. The lines seemed stretched. Try some internal rhyme. Also, it looks as if you switched sides right in the middle. First you're saying that we're immortal, bring it! then you're saying yes we get caught and go to jail, yes we get crack and OD. Maybe you were trying for a young cocky punk and an older smarter man who has been through it all. I doubt you put that much thought into it. 50 cent ruined it. fat hoe i mean joe was unnecassary. You wanna make a diss song write a diss song. you wanna make a serious cliche about the streets, write a serious cliche about the streets.
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#8
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![]() Hello my name is Yula, I'm a baller! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 329 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 125,918 ![]() |
I've wrote much better, I'm just fooling around with this rap. I was just dissing for fun, I can diss people I know in real life better. This was basically a freestyle, not much of a written rap. I just wrote what flowed.
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#9
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![]() reluctantly gazing ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 472 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 120,555 ![]() |
good job, it's nice.
im not sure if i caught too much meaning from it, but im bad with rap. even if its clear, as long as i hear that its a rap, i usually get confused. yeah, im not much of a rap person. |
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