Moments |
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 Feb 24 2005, 03:44 PM
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#1
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 i've never wanted anything rationale.  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045  |
this is an older poem as well. i tried a different style. i don't really like it that much. it doesn't really relate much to me
 Moments are many things They are: wonderful, life changing, dramatic, shocking, breathtaking, and sometimes great. But some moments ones such as this, they are hard to accept, are tough to get through, and feel as though they last for eternity. When really it’s over in just a few seconds. Just a few seconds and anything could happen. Everything I wanted and loved was taken from me. Why moments like these are happening to me, I don’t know why. Why you are gone in just one moment I cannot, will not ever understand. |
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Feb 24 2005, 03:47 PM
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#2
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 Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
eh... its ok...
its a little too narratative for me... it doesnt hav euch rhythm (i so cannot spell that word) i much prefer your titleless one, i thought that was really good |
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Feb 24 2005, 03:52 PM
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#3
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i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
yeah i dont really like this one either. its just....blah
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Feb 24 2005, 03:58 PM
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#4
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Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
^^
i know what you mean... its not bad, its just not... good lol im a little vague sometimes |
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Feb 24 2005, 08:46 PM
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#5
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Member Group: Member Posts: 18 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 103,746 |
Well. It sounds alot like a monolouge if anything (I hope I spelled that right) and alot of it does have good detail. The ending is real wonderful too.
Write more. I disagree with QUOTE MarchHare2UrAlice Posted Feb 24 2005, 2:58 PM ^^ i know what you mean... its not bad, its just not... good lol im a little vague sometimes It is good, it's just not a poem. |
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Feb 25 2005, 06:07 AM
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#6
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 8 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,421 |
itz ok...but it didn't touch my heart...poem r suppose to made ppl think [B]n feel...so...i guess...come on!
 [/B]
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| *stephinika* |
Feb 28 2005, 02:54 PM
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#7
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i like it...i don't know, theres something about that i really like.
 nice job.
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Mar 1 2005, 12:03 AM
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#8
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 Live Your Own Party Group: Member Posts: 1,261 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,489 |
I think it's okay. I've always believe that poems are suposed to bring the reader into the author's heart. This one didn't. But it's okay...
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Mar 1 2005, 01:14 AM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 109 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,204 |
I find this one changes scene/circumstance too quickly, flow isn't too bad though. But no matter, as long as you know what you like and don't like, is all that really matters in the end anyways
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| *Programmer* |
Mar 1 2005, 04:50 AM
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#10
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love the flow on it.
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