She's confusing me... Options

[dpl313]

*long read ahead*

Before you read I'm not a home wrecker.. I don't need to be bashed.

So it all started in September of this year. I have 2 former co-workers. Let's call them Kate and Dan. So I used to talk to most of my co-workers, but I never said much to her. We had a few conversations about college, etc. Then one day when I got off of work. Dan and I had a 2hr conversation about our experiences with dating. Then Dan was bragging about how he got Kate's number, and how he was going to "hit it and quit it." When he said that I flipped out on him, because I didn't want to see her get hurt! Normally if guys were to say something like that around me? I wouldn't care, but I didn't realize I have feeling for Kate.

So my friends and I went out to Chili's on a Friday night. We got off of the bus, and I saw Dan with this girl who turned out to be Kate. I noticed they were sitting on a curb pretty far from each other, and Kate looked seriously bored. But I was trying to be supportive and I said it's so cute that you guys are on a date. Then Kate said out loud this is not a date. She sounded all angry when she said it.

Kate kept giving me this look like I was supposed to ask her to come hang out with me. But I didn't want to interrupt their outing. Plus I was scared, because I didn't want to show interest in her, and have her reject me. I always get rejected when I show interest in someone. So the next day at work Kate told me she wanted to hangout with me and my friends.

I asked her if she wanted to hangout before I left. Because I took a job in another state, and I was leaving soon. She gave me her home phone number, and she said don't lose it. She was smiling at me too when she said it. I didn't know what to make of it? I didn't get to hangout with her, because I had to leave for the job way sooner that I expected to. So I called her one night after I was working my new job.

She asked me when was I coming back to visit? She said she missed hearing my voice. Then she said Dan didn't know me for long, but he was sad to see me go. Which I thought was random. When she told me she missed hearing my voice I was scared again. I was speechless too. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her how I feel about her, but I didn't.

At this point I kept thinking to myself maybe I have a chance with her. So a few days before xmas Dan calls me and the first words that come out of his mouth are that him and Kate are a couple. I could barely get any words out of my mouth. I was just stunned, but luckily he had to get off the phone. I ended up emailing Kate and Dan. Basically telling Dan don't hurt the girl, I'm happy for you, treat her right, etc. With Kate I told her how I feel about her, and that coming back to see her was a bad idea. She pulled the let's be friends line on me, but I was ok with it.

A few days after New Year's Kate and I were talking on aim, and 2 things happened that surprised me. She started telling me how Dan wasn't treating her right. Then she explained a scenario to me, and she asked me for my opinion. I wasn't trying to be too truthful in my opinion, because I wanted to stay out of it. But that's not what happened. I ended up telling her about the convo Dan and I had months back, and his plans for her. Immediately after I told her that she asked if I was coming back to visit? She asked me that 5 times. I told her I felt awkward about coming there, because of her relationship. Then she said she had no problems making it just the 2 of us.

Later that night Kate and I talked again. We ended up talking about the stuff I told her about her bf eariler, and she was sitting up defending him. She did everything but call me a liar. Out of frustration I told her some more stuff I know about her bf. The type of stuff to where it's irrefutable, and she had no choice but to believe me. Then that night she kept flip flopping about her wanting the 2 of us hanging out to her wanting to hangout with my friends.

She told me to call her, but lately I've just had bad timing with calling her. I talked to her the other night, and we talked about her bf. What I found confusing was that.. she never referred to him as her bf. She kept referring to him as "you know who." Then she was telling me how she wants to breakup with him, but she can't. Then I ended up just joking with her to take her mind off of it. Sure enough.. again she asked me "you're still coming back to visit.. right?"

I said yes, but after that phone call I couldn't concentrate on anythingelse. All I could do was think about her.... So... I emailed her that night. I asked her instead of me coming to see her. She could come see me, and I would pay for most of the trip expenses, etc. But my hopes of her coming aren't to spark a relationship. More interested in working on our friendship. I'm just confused though, because even though she's with Dan somewhat... what does she want from me?