Script, unfinished |
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 Jan 20 2005, 02:08 AM
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#1
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 Will write poetry for sex!  Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600  |
Wow, it's been a while.
Here's a little something I recently wrote. It's not finished though. Script He was the kind of guy to play out scenes from a movie; hell, to him, life was a movie. Following a script was much better than leaving life in fates' hands. Whether it was the drama that frequented him, or the web of sappy romances he found himself entangled in, he found himself playing director over the life he found dull and even meaningless. He knew he had no control over it, a loose grip on oil-slicked pre-destination. So he fought it, the only choice he saw fit, by forcing life to follow the book he proudly proclaimed author of. He took note of this scene and thought to himself, "This is so cliché." He chuckled under his breath, taking in another sip of coffee, allowing the warmth to linger upon his lips before the liquid cascaded over his tongue, bubbly; bitter. The chime of cup against saucer, the drop down to reality, the lift of eyes off individuality on mahogany table – he caught the blur of caffeinated Café rush hour, possible extras in this matinee of all matinees. -Joe |
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Jan 22 2005, 04:18 PM
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#2
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
I think that is awesome...you should def expand and continue with it..it sounds alot like somethan i would write....The first sentence is awesome, it captures you and draws you in..i especially liked
He chuckled under his breath, taking in another sip of coffee, allowing the warmth to linger upon his lips before the liquid cascaded over his tongue, bubbly; bitter. The chime of cup against saucer, the drop down to reality, the lift of eyes off individuality on mahogany table – he caught the blur of caffeinated Café rush hour, possible extras in this matinee of all matinees. that part was great...you should def keep on writing and submitting..i dunno why more ppl didn't comment on this |
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Jan 22 2005, 05:52 PM
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#3
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Yeah, I wouldn't mind more comments, but it's no problem.
The only thing is that the old regular posters here didn't see that I posted something again.  (I started that one sticky above this forum)Thanks for your input, I've been meaning to finish it, but it might stretch on longer than I anticipated. Well, I'll post up the finished version when I'm through with it. |
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| *wind&fire* |
Jan 24 2005, 10:47 PM
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#4
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Guest |
COMMENT INCOMING!
damn you are good....(mind taking my english essays?) the only criticism i can say is ... nothing... its soo damn good |
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| *stephinika* |
Jan 24 2005, 11:52 PM
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#5
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wow that sounds great so far. i can't wait to read the rest.
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Jan 25 2005, 08:00 AM
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 WANTED..for sexyness Group: Member Posts: 1,050 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 77,290 |
awsome, very well done.
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Jan 27 2005, 11:03 PM
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#7
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
QUOTE(AzNbUbZ @ Jan 24 2005, 7:47 PM) damn you are good....(mind taking my english essays?)  Hrm, maaaaybe.  I actually love doing essays.Thanks for the comments guys, I'll be sure to try and finish it soon. |
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| *wind&fire* |
Jan 29 2005, 01:07 AM
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#8
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you better
*shakes fist* haha... nah make it good |
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