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 Jan 20 2005, 04:41 PM
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#1
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 You Kicked My Dog.  Group: Member Posts: 305 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 69,782  |
OKAY IT SUCKS...
 ... it's my first.. it sort of goes off topic i think but i had nothing else to put  tell me how it is..  Death. It’s darkness I’m away know It’s okay No more pain No more of what I felt. Know I can’t have motion I can’t see. I can’t feel. No more pain. I can’t taste beside the blood. The blood that was left When he expired me. Pick me up. Take me away. Away from this dark world. I want life. I want light. I need you. I don’t want Death. |
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Jan 20 2005, 05:36 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
Wow, don't be hard on yourself. That's pretty good for a first! And it's alright if it goes off topic, you're the writer..you can do whatever you want! ::shudders:: I hate thinking about death, blood, gore etc. though
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Jan 22 2005, 04:54 PM
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#3
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
Great job for a first try! It sounds great... I think you mispelled some stuff, but that's no biggie. Keep on working on it! excellent
 Keep posting more!
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