createBlog Diary., Version 3. Options

[wounded]

Dear CBD,

My friends threw me a party today. It rocked. :) I <3 them.

[lovescream]

Dear cB diary,
I was supposed to be at Kawai's house. And supposed to be at the movies with Kevin and Aaron. But I guess I ruined it all because I woke up too late. >.< Oh, well. I'm gonna be gone in exactly a week, so I don't care.
Anyways, I had a hot hot dream. xD

-Toby.

[panaginip13]

Hey there cB diary,

I keep putting things off 'til the last minute. Crap. I have to stop doing that.

And school's starting again on Monday. Spring break went by too darn fast. -_-

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary..

so here i am again, confused but in a different way. i used to never feel such a feeling...guilt. hm. i suppose i'm not as horrible a person i used to think i was if that makes sense....mind you most of my posts in here don't make sense. but why such guilt? i didn't do anything wrong really...i guess i've just found out in the last few days how much he truly does mean to me and how scared i'd be if i lost him. hm. the truth is always so confusing.

[Teesa]

Dear CB diary--
I am so sad that spring break is almost over. This past week has been one of the best I've experienced in such a long time. I'm so glad that I got to spend it with the people that I most truly care and love. I wish life could go on like this forever..
-teesa

[ichiban]

Dear CB Diary,
Things have certainly been better. Went to the library today and got a ton of books. Currently reading Princess Diaries :P It's really a lot different than the movie, but it's quite funny. Gotta read Robinson Crusoe next. Ack.

Anywayyyy, HIM. Yesss Him. I'd put his name but it'd be pretty embarrassing if he ever randomly read this. I don't even know the dude. All I know is he's mega polite, mature, and looks smart and sosososo cute :P I wonder when I'll see him again? Probably in a few months, ha.

hope i can hang out with natkrap james & his sister tomorrow. oh pleeeease let it be fun, yeah?

- me.

[bobbster]

Dear Diary,

I got my first butt pimple today in a long time. I'm pretty sure this is the second biggest so far.

Love,
Bob.

[starlette]

Dear cB diary,

good news! i am now officially a new member of a pimp-tastic girl group called controversy. so it looks like i won't be staying in florida for good. i'm getting restless i can't WAIT to get back to dallas to start working on music. the guy i'm staying with out in florida is a moron, he frustrates me to no extent. to be honest, i'm tired of being driven for his career. i don't understand how you can say you want something so bad and then not wanna work for it and i don't wanna do it for him. I have my own dreams and my own future to work for, so...i'm glad to be going home. On another note the AC in this damn apartment broke five times since i've been here...FIVE TIMES!!! they finally figured that maybe it was a real problem (no kidding...). We now have this dinky window unit, that only cools about a fourth of the room. grrrrrrrrrr...I spose that's all for now. and as always, thanks for listening. i'm outtie

[inthemudhole]

Hey.

Joe's finally on.
His internet was down.
So I'm talking to him now.

I'm still sore.
I think I broke one of my knuckles again....Yet I continue to type. It doesn't get in the way of typing though. It's on my hand and I don't bend it much when I'm typing anyway.

Um...
21 days...
Can't wait.

Boring weekend, but I'd rather have a boring weekend than a week of school.

Meh.

What the hell,

Brie

[ANG33ZY]

dear cb diary,

damnit school is back. i hate school.

today i had fun at my cousin's house. i stuffed myself with fried rice and chowmein. you know how i do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMINEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Saeglopur]

CBD -

TRYYYYY ME.
I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
no one reads this right?
k good.
kadklasdjlaskdhiqwehcimgonnashootmyselfaskhdoaryhqown.
thanks.

- KMIMZxihceKim

[*tweeak*]

dear cb diary,

i adore spring break. i mean, it doesnt really feel like it, because...well, i dont know why. i guess becuase im not going anywher, but thats nothing new. i never go anywhere for spring break. oh well, i dont care

i just read on someones xanga that our guard instructor resigned. i imagine that is bad. and that was one pretty damn hormonal, teary meeting. but i laugh at jordan. this is nothing new, but i laugh in her face some more anyway

i am right more and more often these days

being home alone and listening to music makes me happy. i really want- no, need- the decememberists, metric, denali, more bright eyes, say hi to your mom, and the newer shins cds. i will have to journey to bn and go broke later

i am in a remarkably good mood. nice change from yesterday, where the exact opposite could be said.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary.

i hate living in hickville so damn far away from everything.

that is all for now.

[miss barnes]

Dear Cb Diary

today was a really good day...even 5th period was straight. 6th period was really good. we had a sub so we moved around and donnie was diagonal from me but he took my mardi gras beads and said i had to flash him to get them back but i didnt...so he moved next to me. mayn nvm i dont wanna say everything but, dayum i'm soo falling for him. i want him so dayum bad. why wont he just break up with his girlfriend? uhhhh

[lovescream]

Dear cb diary,
hey. i'm good, yeah, okay. this guy on my bus pissed me off. he kept hitting me with his jacket. of course, I acted like 'whatever' and didn't seem to care. but it hurts! GOSH, IF I WASN'T QUIET AND ACTING LIKE WHATEVER, I WOULD'VE SMACKED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT BOY.
anyways, testing was kinda easy. it was short.. i got stuck on some problems. whatever.
i told people that i didn't believe in god and they all made some big shit about it. do i look like i give a f**k? no. "oh, oh, toby, why dont you believe in jesus/god?! HE DIED YOU YOU." "oh, you suck" haha whatever. it's my f**king belief so don't tell me what to believe and whatnot. i don't care if you're christian.. okay? i don't care. it's not like i know you. plus wtf has god ever done to me? he's only made my life worse when i believed in him. oh, thanks god. oh, oops. i'm talking to someone who doesn't exsist.

-Toby.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear Createblog,

No new car yet. the car i was orginally going to buy turned out to be a lemon...no worries though i will keep looking

kiera

[Chii]

dear createBlog diary,

this is just fucking ridiculous, i go to school, i may get there horrendously late but i still go there, i sign the goddamn late book but you know what? they still call home and say that i didn't go

what the fuck is this? i told my mom that i did go but who the fuck cares about what i say, the school called they're always "right"

what's the fucking point anymore? i tried to do good but no one cares about what i have to say about shit

my mom should go and fuck herself now because i'm sending her to a one of those old people homes so i won't have to deal with her, i won't visit her for holidays or anything, on her funeral i'll just have some guy dump her in a ditch like she's repeatedly told me because that's what she wished she did to me

[to-devastate]

Dear cB Diary,
Today in science, velez told us that tomorrow was seat change. And every girl had to sit next to a boy. I want to sit next to him. I just have to. It's an urge of jealousy of whoever sits next to him. I hope I won't do anything to cause any trouble for that person.....
- Bcithy Mood ie.

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
I'm honestly trying my hardest to change things now. To change everything. I know that complaining about how much my life sucks doesn't help me whatsoever so the best thing to do is act upon it. I've tried before and always left it unfinished mostly because I just gave up and lost hope. But this time, I really want it to be different. I'm so fed up with everything and everyone and most importantly, myself. I hate feeling this way and acting the way I do. So I really am going to try my hardest to change every aspect that I hate, or almost every aspect at least. I don't want to have a whole bunch of regrets when I get older so hopefully this won't be one. I really need to start paying attention now and start worrying about my future. Not that I haven't been, but I guess prioritize it more; worry more. So yeah...hopefully this time things will be different. Anyways, I still feel like I want to whine a bit =] So honestly, I don't understand people. Why do they act the way they do? Do they think it makes them better? That it makes them cool? Because really they just look like fools. And boys. Why are they so difficult to understand? Granted, they feel the same way about us but really now...why all the games?...Oh well. Okay, I need to go finish homework.
-Me.

[*salcha*]

Dear cB Diary,
I have been stripped of everything I have become, deprived.
i can't believe it.
Eveything's gone..
my friends, my sports, my grades, my...life.
Wish I could just leave the world behind.
I started crying today, again, because i couldn't take it anymore, this is the most depressing time of my life.
I need to go back, fix everything.
...but I can't.

[yukichan]

Dear cB diary,
My gosh..******* continues to make me mad..
a lot of things are going bad for me..Sometimes i just want to sit down and cry..a lot of things are going bad for me..sigh..
i have testing tomorrow..its reading..it shouldnt be that hard..so tired..
and still sick..i dont think im going to get better..ive been sick since last week wednesday..sigh..
feel like crying..but i wont..ill go and sleep...good night..
*~*~Nancy~*~*

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

i am finally being able to get onto createblog! it seems like i haven't been on in forever probably because i havene't! i am so happy because i have missed it. just in case you didn't know why i haven't been here, it is because i was grounded because i was failing spanish. i was failing my ten points but now i am passing because i have been working my butt off for the past two weeks and it is really showing! i am so proud of myself. but i am not doing that good in math because i have doing so much spanish. i think that i might have a chance of getting all a's and b's but i probably won't!
tennis is going good too. i am getting a little better and i can finally serve like an average person! i am totally excited about summer and can't wait untill next year so that i can try out for step team. and as it turns out, we didn't win and the whole scoring was rigged anyway so what the eff ever!

--Frankie

[jennyjenny]

Dear Createblog,

it seems like no one really gets me. like no one understands and i'm discluded from this whole freaking school. it seems like i can't fit in anywhere with friends and things. and no one does anything about it, and i just really don't know who's my friend, or who's anything anymore. it seems like everything and everyone has changed.

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog Diary,

Sense Field – Save Yourself. This song is so easy for me to relate to, and it's still a question: how do you save yourself for someone? How do you save yourself? I want so badly to belong, and yet I'm so afraid of giving myself away again. How many times have I done so only to be hurt, to completely be torn apart?

I mean, I'm trying to move on, and I think I actually am, it's just the memories that still sting. I still want so much what was once there. And I'm still bitter. I need so much not to be alone. Really, I do. Is it that much to ask for? I'm not a materialistic person, I swear. I just want this one thing. Too much to want, too much to ask for, always too much.

And boys hate me. Actually, it's ironic that I'm always saying that, I'm always whining to boys about it. I'm surrounded by them, and I don't seem to see that they don't hate me. I should know that they like having me around, they're cool with me, but I'm blind to the good things in my life, so blind. I wish I could see. I wish I could enjoy what I had, what I still have.

It feels like I really need to get away from here. I mean, not even just this everyday routine, but my entire life. I'm tired of dealing with people, tired of the pressure and expectation. I can't live up to it. I can't. I'm not as perfect as everyone thinks I am, and a lot of the times I wish I were. I feel like shit since I can't measure up, I can't fulfill everyone's dreams. I hate letting people down.

I used to have an escape. I used to write. But it's gone now. It's been gone. I can't run from anything anymore. I have no inspiration. So this is what writer's block is like. It's terrifying. I'm here, and the page is blank before me, but I can't seem to fill it. My life is empty; I can't fulfill this yearning I have, this yearning to write something. Anything. It's so difficult. I'm not proud of my writing, nothing except that heart wrenching piece of prose. But I want so much to be able to spew out the words like I did once before, when I need them. It's difficult to though. It's emotion, it's all raw emotion. I miss it, I miss the fresh pain of such sadness. This dull ache is nothing.

This entry is so unorganized, I hate this messiness and carelessness. I hate this disorder. I hate it. Why can't I just write?

-Me.

p.s. I really like him. I'm not sure though. Let's wait a bit and see. He's a dear though, honestly.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

today was certainly interesting. i didn't really keep myself in check and i think i was a little too enthusiastic about seeing some people today after not seeing them for so long. ah well. i was just being honest for once. *shrug* i was happy to see them, and if someone has a problem with that, whatever. i know how i feel, and i choose how to deal with those feeling myself. thats my choice, so there.


--
edit..
i thought of a bit more to say.

i hate thinking 'what if'. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it...because i know that its stupid and won't make a difference but i can't help of think of all these possible scenarios. argh. its driving me insane.