createBlog Diary., Version 3. Options

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary...

i'm slowly killing myself inside. i keep shoving these thoughts away but then letting them resurface, only to push them off again. i don't know what i'm doing but how can i know what is right? i can't. then...when i let myself slip out the tiniest bit...i become afraid yet again and i hide within myself.
i'm so tired of pretending, so tired of lying to everyone and myself...
i don't know what to do anymore. i can't keep doing this to myself over and over again. this is my life...i should be able to live it.

[xTINAA]

Dear cB diary,
I'm trying really hard to supress all these emotions right now. Feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, frustration, jealousy, stress, depression, just everything. Why can't something go right for once? Why isn't anything getting better? What about that saying that says something about once everything is really low, it has no place to go but up? Just bullshit, huh? Because for me, everything managed to get worse. How is it even possible to feel all of these different emotions right now? I seriously can't think straight and I'm going crazy. I need a break. I need to rest. I need to just get away. But I won't have that chance for a long time. Man... I need this 5 day weekend, even if it will still be filled with crazy stress and work. Okay, I'm done ranting now...
-Me.

[to-devastate]

Dear CB diary,
You don't know how much it hurts when he walks past me. I just don't get why he doesn't feel the same way about me? He used to.. but did I miss my chance? I wish I knew. This confusion has given me many headaches. I hope I realize the answers to all my questions. Today it hurt me to see him holding her arm. It hurts. It feels like he just poked me with a ton of needles. Ow.
- Eileen

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary.


i don't know whats going on anymore.
someone help me..
yet the ones i can go to...i can't this time.
i'm alone.

[wickedcurse]

dearest cb diary,

not a bad day.. our third finals day is over and tomorrow will be our last day! yes! iam so happy!but we need to deffend our thesis first! well i can finally chill out! yes! this is what we call life!

so iam here at the library using the internet(obviously )... so.. just killing my time... iam so excited because summer vacation is coming! yey!!!! but on the contrary need to attend summer classes in PGC(philippine government and constitution) duh! i flunked it last semester!!!! but i know i can make it!!! yes!!!

so need to go kinda dark and im hungry.. and i need to study in my communication arts exam...
ciao!

[Looow]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Gosh, I am currently very very disappointed of everything. Especially myself.

On a happier note, today is the talent show, boy am i exited =]]]]]]]]]]]

[Looow]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Gosh, I am currently very very disappointed of everything. Especially myself.

On a happier note, today is the talent show, boy am i exited =]]]]]]]]]]]

[miss barnes]

Dear CB diary

today we did the course thing for next year. i cant't believe that next year i'll be a junior. its a beautiful thang. i dont know what i wanna take for my 6th class though. either accounting 2 or child development or...shit i dont know. i'll think about it later. omg i think i'm going to get to take advance english 3 too! mrs. woods said she would look at my grades but, then she never did. then after school let out i asked her a question about something else and she said she would sign my recommendation tomorrow!! the only thing that makes me mad is that i have to take algebra 2 over even though i took it freshman year. damn i had switching schools. everyone should have the same requirements. now i have to take a class over that i've already taken for the whole school year instead of being in precal..where i wanted to be

rika

rika

[wickedcurse]

dear cb diary!
yes! finals is finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hurray!

[Teesa]

Dear CB Diary,
I really did have a fun time tonight, but I was getting really mad as well. Why do people have to act so immature? I don't know. I also don't know why I take things so seriously either. I hate when I do that because I think others are serious too. Arrrgjhkd..I hate my feelings.
-teesa

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Tonight was a lot of fun. Man. I can't remember genuinely having fun like that for a while. The racing around bit was the best part. But despite all the fun it was, I felt like something was missing. Eh...I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I enjoy anything? Why are things like this??
-Me.

[wickedcurse]

dear cb diary!

finals is finally over!!!

[jennyjenny]

Dear Createblog Diary,

I really don't know where my life is going. It seems like all of the people I call my friends are being such jerks. Such as making plans and not including me by WHISPERING to each other to do things. I really hate Julie, Sarah.. and the whole people and I really cannot wait until Julie moves. I don't know, maybe I should be nicer considering she's moving sometime in the summer or something, or maybe earlier. I hope earlier. This whole thing with Nancy; are we friends or no? Considering we told each other we wouldn't be friends back in December. And Julie making false assumptions about other people and their friendship. I really can't believe that she used to be my friend. This is part of my whole drama shit in my life.

I really don't like my school and their racism. What the asdf is up with that? And then when I call them a "white cracker", they get all pissed and like the whole school would be mad and stuff... ARGH. I really don't want to live in this town with less diversity. I want more diversity in my town, and all we're seeing are white people. Not that I'm racists against whites, I just want it to be more diverse.

My parents seem like such hypocrites and just contradicting themselves. My mother is extremely annoying, and it seems like I can't even say something to my BROTHER without my mother going, "what'd u say?" Rawr. And it's like people should just hang out with people their own sex as them. Screw that, when I'm out of college, I'm buying an apartment with Daniel. It's so freaking dumb, too, because she treats my 17-year old brother like he's 10 or something. Callng him whereever he goes.

I really can't concentrate on school. I do about average or a little above. I can't stand bad grades, but I hate working.

As you can see, a lot of things have been going on in life and stressing me out... I just need to get out like if someone actually invites me anywhere...


-jenny

[*tweeak*]

dear cb diary!
yes! finals is finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hurray!

dear cb diary!

finals is finally over!!!

thats redundant and gramtically incorrect

dear cb diary,
festival did not go well.

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

this week was kinda boring. we went on a long vacation to st. louis and i guess i had fun. it could of been much better, but it could of been so much worse, too! i don't really feel like typing everything but let's just say that i am so happy to be back home and i am happy to be back on createblog!

--Frankie

[whywasisostupid]

dear clique diary
i feel so sick inside yet. i want him so badly. why is this happenign to me? just thinking of him makes me sick but then happy.
Hes going to sneak into my room again. sigh. hes so cute

[pAtRiCk_sTar]

Dear cb:

Dentists annoy me. Well, it's been a long time....and I haven't gotten my braces yet. The orthodontist is constantly changing the plan, and quite frankly, I'm pissed. So I went to see the oral surgeon today, since they'll be extracting three teeth and doing a flap/bond sort of thing. The guy's like "I'm not sure if we should be doing this without your braces on". Now, I have to wait even longer, call up the orthodontist, tell them what oral surgeon said, go back to oral surgeon, etc. etc. etc. I wish people could be more consistent...Well that's basically the highlight of my day. I really hope it doesn't hurt

-patrick_star

[FoOd]

Dear CB Diary,

Today didn't start off so well as I planned.
Today, I have learned that at least 800 teachers have been notified that they might get laid off. It really saddens me to hear this, and because of this, my Band Director might be leaving the school. I mean, he is really a good director and he connects very well with children and I really don't want him to leave.
Also, I have wondered was it because of our Governer's idea? From what I have heard, basically, he cutted money from children's education to make California richer. How idiotic. How can we have a future without education?
On the side-note of that, next year, we will be have 5 periods a day. Which sucks butt crack. I mean really, how can we even get our college credits! If 5 period per semester earn us 25 credits, by the end of a year, we will earn 50 credits. Now multiply that by 4 and we get 200 credits, which is 20 credits short for our credits requirements.
It sucks, and our governer sucks.

Sincerely,

Hungry and yummy

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
people are annoying as fcuk. Okay, serously get your own personalities, identities, emotions, and everything else. I'm sick of being "copied." Once I do something then she or she feels the need to do the same. Just stop. I'm sick of it. I really think that at one point in time I'm going to get so fed up with someone I'm seriously going to yell at them. I've done it before but not to the extent I'm thinking. And I really hate it when people are so damn needy and clingy and when they change personalities every five minutes. Sheesh. Anyways, today was whatever. Bye.
-Me.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary:

bleah. this is driving me crazy. i swear. i keep slightly giving in then pulling back and i can't keep doing this, thats one thing i'm actually sure of in this entire thing. i think this vacation is just what i need at the moment..

[ichiban]

Dear CB,
why is my family so freaking messed up? besides the fact that my parents hate each other or something, there's other issues and shit that pisses me off and it's the only thing that's keeping me from actually being happy. i wish God can finally help my parents, and i'll continue being hopeful even when i do not see any hope at all ... but yeah im gonna wait and keep praying.

my mom wants me to be a buddhist. blah blah blah, like i actually will. geez how is she expecting me to lke .. go away from christianity? seriously ...

dad's such a gayass. i hate his freakin personality ... gahhh. i wish i could live with someone else. maybe erika. or kevin, yeah. that'll be nice and even though i dont erally kno their parents, i know they wont be as messed up as mine.

i am starting not to see the point to anything. i dont see the point of wasting all this money on expensive brand name clothes. i mean, what IS the point? im not tryin to look good for anyone; i dont have anyone to look good for. what, am i so in love with myself that i want to look good for me? yeah well i guess im not those type of people.

i think i get pissed at the people i hang out with too much. geez must they be so immature. i can't talk to them about anything because they won't even come close to getting it. but then whatever. im still young, ill make better friends.

i hate everything but at least science projects over right?

i want to go to church. but there's no one to take me. it really sucks being the only Christian in my family. i want to go on those church retreats like everyone else .. and yeah .. but noooo ..

i may complain too much, but there's a lot to complain about. blah blah blah ...... i wonder what heaven is like. whenever i think of heaven, i think of .. a garden. i dont know why but yeah. like, neverending very green hills and tons of flowers. yes flowers. and singing, and angels, of course. and every night for dinner you get like this huge buffet. and then it's just tons of joy =)

okay i feel like complaining again. i think i really need to shut up but i really am upset. the fact that i cant talk to ANYONE about my problems bothers me, because they wont get it and think i'm just really really weird. im just disgusted when people want to kill themselves over a stupid crush or whatever. the reason why i'm not too fond of life isn't any of that drama bullshit that goes on at school. its all the crap at home that im just really sick of putting up with. everyday i just wonder why i had to born to such a family. what kind of family do i have anyway? what kinna family makes you want to scream, cry, and suicide all the time? maybe if i had a sister or a brother, i could relate my problems to them since they live under the same roof, obviously .... i wish it'd all end and i'll have a normal family like all my other friends. because i'm just sick of the yelling and crying that's going on.

that's enough for today

[ichiban]

i feel like i'm always being used, in some way or another. is it just me, or am i like, the source for everyone to make new friends? i don't know how to explain, but it's true. how did jadfj meet alsdjf? me. how did ljfsdf and sdilfjsf become best friends? me. the list goes on and on, and i guess i don't really have a problem with it, but then the person that met a new friend through me always grows apart from me. so i guess that will bother me.

[whywasisostupid]

dear clique diary,
HAHAH my parents caught me

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

today was kinda boring. i just stayed over at my grands house and played on the computer. all i did was work on my photoshop skills and made a really cool blend last night. the people liked it here. i was so happy. i want to get really good! i don't want to go to school on monday. i just want to hang out here because i have been going this whole spring break. the vacation wasn't that good but at least i got to get away from the house for a little bit...

--Frankie

[inthemudhole]

Dear cB Diary,

I'm really bitter today.
Hm.
I bought a webcam today.
It's neat.

So now I'm eating some chicken.

My friends are pissing me off.

35 more days.