I'm not exactly sure |
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 Dec 23 2004, 12:39 AM
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#1
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 Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time  Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705  |
Yeah, it's me again. I wrote another one while I was at my friends house. I got the urge while watching Degrassi of all shows.
 Anyway, I don't have a title for this one either. Give me some feedback please and tell me the truth. Thanks.Ticking;half past midnight Lieing in the bed Gun sitting along side Aiming at the head Thoughts running around Friendships breaking apart Needles working furiously Mending this broken heart Yelling for compassion Jumping in mid-air Longing for something to hold Asking anyone to care Wishing for a miracle Punching at the wall Begging for forgiveness Praying not to fall Replaying words once said Screaming in misery and woe Cringing at my thoughts Pleading not to go Fading into nothing Drifting through the clouds Wondering why it hapened Hoping that you're proud Ticking;half past midnight Lieing lifeless on the floor Bullets scattered around a body Of a girl who suffers no more... Eh..I know it sucks. Just need some feedback though. |
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Dec 23 2004, 02:42 AM
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#2
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 oh sweet pestilence Group: Member Posts: 2,251 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,876 |
I like it. I especially like the "Punching at the wall". I don't know why..but that's my favorite line.
 Well done.
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Dec 23 2004, 11:34 AM
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#3
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 This bitch better work! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,681 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,095 |
i like the laste stanza. good rhyming(sp?)
here are some flowers --//-->
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