what to do, what to do... Options

[me1issaaaa]

okay, this is probably a stupid question/conflict or whatever, but here it goes.

last year i was pretty close w/ a guy friend. we'd hang out a lot, you know, after school and movies and parties and such. but i swear, he PMS's worse than any girl i know. he'd get so upset over little tiny things, like one time i had to leave school before i got a chance to say bye to him because i'd been in a lot of trouble w/ my mom, and if i made her wait on me, it'd get worse. later that day, i get this nasty email from him, accusing me of being a horrible friend w/ no feelings at all and he's "sick of trying to figure me out, he's through with it." i'm just sitting there thinking what i ever did to make him hate me so much. but once i thought about it, i remembered all the other times he'd gotten angry w/ me over the dumbest things, like i didn't say hi to him or little childish things like that. so once i thought about all of those other times, it pretty much pissed me off because... he's acting like a child. so i send something not so nice back to him, and it goes on for days. hell, i didn't care, he made me mad.

after a few days of bickering, i think to myself, it's time to end this w/ him, it's just not worth it. so i try to send a last thing to him, and i tell him that i apolojize for acting like i did and i hope he has a good life and whatnot, you know, try to atleast end things on a good note, because i really didn't care if i ever spoke to him again or not. so when i tried to be atleast a little friendly, he replies back, telling me what a horrible person i am, how i have no feelings at all toward other people, i'm the bitchiest person he'd ever met, he hopes i die [[yes he actually said he wished i wouild die.]], and he hopes i have a miserable life, full of pain and misery.

so, me being me, i just sit there crying my eyes out because i actually believe what he tells me. i even considered suicide because i believed that i really was a horrible person like he said i was.

after a few days of severe depression, he tells our friend to tell me that he was just kidding. wth?! you don't freaking play around like that, man. i was seriously considering ending my life because of what he said, and now he says he's "just kidding" and didn't mean any of it.

....bleh. so yeah, that's the big conflict. now, he's found my xanga and he left a comment, wanting me to comment back to him, and he tells our friend that he sees me at school and he regrets what he'd done and wants me to talk to him again. call me crazy, but you just don't forget something like that and run back to them with open arms. to make matters even wierder, my friends actually WANTS me to talk to him again. she says that since i'm moving soon, i should make peace w/ him.

maybe it's just me, but like i said, that's just not something you forget very easily. i've already started to get over all that's happened, and he's out of my life now. i don't care if i never see him again, so why would i bring him back up when i know it's very possible he could do the same thing agian?

is it wrong for me to think like this?? comments/feedback welcome.

btw, sorry this is so long.

<3

-meli