My Wal-Mart Hero Options

[rushx]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the
horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins
to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but
cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around
the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try
and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become tangled
in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding
hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments
away from unconsciousness when the Wal-Mart manager runs out
to shut the horse off.