so freaking pissed off, stupid best friend Options

[yummy_delight]

i think this topic belongs here. relationships includes friends right? this is a really REALLY long rant.

my best friend and i were walking to class like we always do when she looked around and said "you know what? a lot of asians go to this school." i said "yeah i know" because it's true (about half of our school population is asian) and, at that particular moment, she was one of the only white people we saw. THEN she said to me "sometimes i wish i were surrounded by white people." i thought that was kind of weird because i'm her best friend and I'M asian but i shrugged it off. she then continued with "there's just too many asians here. we need more white people." i took that personally but i didn't want to argue with her or make a big scene so i just hinted that what she said wasn't exactly something that one would want to share with her asian best friend. then she said "oh well, i guess i'm racist then," and started laughing. SO not funny, but i kept my mouth shut. a few seconds later i walked past my other friend Lupe, who is Mexican but she has really light skin. my best friend looked at her and when she passed from our sight, she said "maybe i should hang out with Lupe more often. she's white." i looked at her like she was stupid and said "um NO. she's MEXICAN. hence the name LUPE." and she replied "well her SKIN is. and that's what matters."

okay. WTF?!?! i can NOT believe that she said that! I, an asian girl, have been her best friend for 4 years. and suddenly she just comes out and says one of the most racist thing i've ever heard anyone say. so she would rather hang out with someone that was white than hang out with me? after she said that, i yelled "WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?" at her and walked away. later that day, she left a message on my cell phone saying "you know. it was just a JOKE. i don't know why you took such offense to it. i'm sorry you feel that way. if you want to talk tomorrow, i'll hear you out. go ahead and talk to me... but if you don't i don't care." And she said ALL this like I'M the one who acted like the bitch or did something wrong. like she's doing ME a favor calling me up.

i got so angry that i cried after i heard the message. i've never felt so betrayed in my life. she made a racist comment that applied to me and my friend and she can't even say she's sorry? even if i WERE overreacting, which i KNOW i'm not, a GOOD friend would apologize. "i'm sorry i said that" is an apology. "i'm sorry YOU feel that way" is NOT. it basically says "the way you feel about my statement is wrong and stupid. i'm sorry that you're stupid." i know that if i ever said something to offend anyone, unintentionally or not, i would definitely apologize right away. but NO. she decides to make me feel like an brown asian piece of crap because she hurt my feelings. i'm just confused and angry and hearbroken at the same time...

sorry if this took up too much of your time. i just really needed to vent all this out.