Paper Doll, about being alone and disliked.. |
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 Nov 5 2004, 11:27 PM
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#1
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 .Im.not.your.star.  Group: Member Posts: 108 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 59,675  |
One of my own personal poems, about a feeling of loneliness and depression,It may seem like it is talking about self mutalation at one part but it's not, more like a smilie.
“Paper Doll” A girl sits alone, Her face swollen red, bandages on her arms, hiding the lies she bled, She sits in a crowd, feeling left out, Shadows defined tears, hiding little doubt, Her paper dress stained, scissors of dismay, a hole in her plastic heart, She is their prey. |
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Nov 6 2004, 03:36 AM
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#2
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 aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
i like it. the ending the best. its prettu in its own way. :)
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Nov 6 2004, 10:11 AM
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#3
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 wanderlust personified. Group: Official Designer Posts: 7,515 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 797 |
 It's good. Sorry, I'm not much of a writer myself so I can't really offer much criticism. But I like it. And I like it best when poems rhyme, so good job. |
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| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 6 2004, 10:18 AM
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#4
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Guest |
oh so lovely...
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Nov 6 2004, 05:35 PM
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#5
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.Im.not.your.star. Group: Member Posts: 108 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 59,675 |
Thanks :) It's one of my better short poems.
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