The Veil, Letting go is harder than it seems... Options

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

The Veil



The blade shone in the darkness,
I can see my pale reflection
Through it,
From side to side,
From the razor sharp point
To the black leather handle.


A line running coarsely through my face.
A face filled with
Doubt,
Remorse,
Hate,
Love.
An evaporated love that left
It’s watery imprints on my heart.


I cradle the blade
Through my hands
Juggling life and death.
Between my very fingers
Questions filling
My mind.
Should I rid myself of all my troubles?
Now? Later? Today? At this very moment?
Why not?


I take one last look at the blade.
It’s ever lasting shine.
The twinkle.
The twinkle that once lived in my eyes,
The twinkle that you took.


A sharp pain snakes it’s way into my heart.
Without thought it happens.


An impulse,
A sudden ecstasy fills
My body with a shock,
A pain stricken,
Reaction.
As the blade
Comes in contact.
Skin.
Blood.
Death.
Ultimate Freedom.


Through the veil’s
Darkened curtains
I soar.
Sparks of images
Invoke my mind
Into a trance.
I soar.
The shadows embark
Me with a plunge
Of guilt
And a returning
Pain through
Mid-air.


I tried to
Escape
Flee from the
Burning pain
Filling my heart
With hope and then
Just air,
Space,
And an empty
Feeling that
Now returns as she
Walks out the door.
Again
And again.


The broken projector
Replays
Frame after frame
Of golden memories
Turned silver
Then rusted.
My escape from you
turned out to
Be the most obvious
Trick
To eternal wandering.
It’s what all suicides get.
Wandering.
Why you may ask?
To realize why I truly did what I did.


I pleaded an everlasting
Love that you grasped
And kept hold of
Never returning it back
Even after your final
Words ended it all
As quickly as it had started.
I can see it all so clearly now.


Those few words
Resounding,
Unevenly echoing
In my head.
“We are to different.
Let’s stop this before anyone gets hurt.”
To late…
I’m already hurt.
It’s all your fault.
I wished we could go back to
The way everything was…
But I can never go farther
Knowing that now
Hate burns like Greek fire.
The veil won’t allow me.


A river of emotions erode
From the darkened depths
Of the slowly beating
Thump
Thump
Thump
Of a heart that will never stop.
No one does this to me.
No one.
And now you must pay.


I look down at my hands
White.
Clear
Transparent
The veil
Grabbed me
Jerked me out of its
Depths
To do just one thing…
Return the icy favor
You have granted
My now immortal
Soul.


The Soul
That once cared for
You…
Just You…