My sunshine. |
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 Apr 11 2005, 03:06 AM
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#1
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 hello : )  Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139  |
It's basically the same type of feeling that can be seen in all my writing that I've posted, but I felt like posting it anyway.
Hey there sunshine. Did you know you brighten my day? Your smile lights up my world. You make me feel warm inside. See that twinkle in my eye? It's from you. You're everything to me and more. My world revolves around you. Everything would be dull and meaningless if I didn't have you. There would be no life within me. Oh wait. What's that I see? I see a rainstorm moving in. Dark clouds fill the once baby blue sky. No longer do I feel warm but instead cold and lonely. That's not a twinkle in my eye but instead a tear, slowing flowing down. My once bright smile is now ripped away and instead replaced with an ugly frown. My world has come crashing down and everything's in chaos. I see no green, no life. It's all hazy and grey. Where did you go? You were my sunshine and now you're gone. You were my everything and now you're nothing. Nothing but a bitter memory that replays over and over in my mind. |
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| *islandgirl4eva* |
Apr 11 2005, 03:35 AM
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I love how things do a complete 180 and fall apart at the end. When you talk about the bitter memory playing in your mind I see it as an old black and white movie reel with creeping music playing in the background. Great job! =]
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| *stephinika* |
Apr 11 2005, 08:24 AM
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#3
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^^
ooh i like that comment, i agree! but yeah, the turnaround at the end works well with the writing and i can just imagine how you feel in this. nice work. 
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Apr 11 2005, 01:01 PM
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#4
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 This is all my luck, it's all I got. Group: Member Posts: 1,373 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 76,532 |
Lovely. I hate when i have that feeling of having something you love and then it just leaves or gets taken away.... Great job. =]
Im sorry if this comment sucks but i never know what to say except that its great. =/ |
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Apr 11 2005, 09:16 PM
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#5
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Lovely work, Chrissy.
I agree with what Naomi has said. Very descriptive, nice job! |
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Apr 11 2005, 09:19 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
I, too, love how in the end everything makes a sudden turn for the worse. Very descriptive. You and Naomi do great work!
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| *jooleeah* |
Apr 11 2005, 09:41 PM
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#7
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It's wonderful. I agree with Nicole, it's very descriptive. I hate it when the things you love are just ripped away. Very nice, Chrissy =]
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Apr 11 2005, 09:42 PM
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#8
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 deleted Group: Member Posts: 3,168 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 92,276 |
aww...how sweet
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