Eh, political essays suck. Options

[waccoon]

If I could vote in the presidential election of 2004, I would definitely vote for John Kerry. In presidential debates, Kerry appears more calm and collective than George W. Bush does. I strongly agree with what Kerry stands for; issues such as education, economy and civil rights that Kerry addresses turn my vote to the democrats. In my opinion, Kerry would further the growth of the United States more than Bush would in his second term.
Kerry relates to the middle class workers and the welfare of the general people, not the wealthy “elite” few. George Bush favors non-American, wealthy international corporations over the citizens of the United States. Bush is encouraging to negate the separation of state and church, which would ultimately end in policies based on Christian belief. Bush led us into a pointless war that cost billions. Our forces were diverted from the capturing of Al Qaeda leaders and the prevention of terrorism in the United States because of Bush’s oil raid on Iraq. Bush now denies this and refuses to address the problem.
Kerry is protecting individual rights with religious freedom, not control. If Bush is kept in office, the separation of state and church will be gone, along with religious freedom. Social security is another issue where Bush fails to adequately deal with. If kept in office, Bush plans to privatize social security. “The truth is, the only people who benefit from George Bush’s Social Security scheme are the special interests”, says Senator Kerry. Bush plans to allow citizens to withdraw money from their social security funds. “That’s not a plan, it’s a rip-off,” Kerry says. “George Bush’s scheme hurts seniors by cutting benefits, and it hurts our economy by increasing the deficit.”
John Kerry has my support for the election of 2004. I believe under Kerry’s presidency, the United States will grow and prosper. George Bush showed his inability to be a strong leader throughout his term. If elected for another four years, where will the country head? When separation of state is gone and the ever-rising taxes go even higher, who will be there to save the United States?

This post has been edited by waccoon: Oct 18 2004, 06:42 AM

[TheSilenceInDict...]

Psh, no credit to me?
And I didn't even ask for money.

Anyway, I don't know what exactly your teacher wants for this essay, but where's the separation between your intro and first body?

turn my vote to the democrats.

should be 'turns my vote over to the Democrats.'

Some quotes or references for the first body would have helped as hell.
And, to answer your question:

When separation of state is gone, and the ever-rising taxes go even higher, who will be there to save the United States?

Batman, my friend...Batman.

Anyway, good job.
Glad I could be of any help (Without any thanks, I obviously wasn't... )

[SarahxJoy]

Anyway, I don't know what exactly your teacher wants for this essay, but where's the separation between your intro and first body?

Yeah I was kind of thinking of the same thing.
Other than that, Nick, you did a great job.
This looks like an A paper to me.
Well done.

[waccoon]

cB crashed before I could post the edited, final version <_<.