Fate, This was the first peice I every wrote |
 Oct 15 2004, 07:28 PM
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#1
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 Maggot Rocker  Group: Member Posts: 396 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,016  |
Fate
I'm gone forever Lost in time Hoping that I'll never have you in my mind Visions of you take me away, Feeling so sad I feel like a new shade of grey For I am just a loner Just a face in the crowd I hope you know who I am Feeling blue, but today is grey So save me now before it's too late, Or else you'll just see preparing for my fate This thing is just about 2 years old, I wrote this after I broke up with my babys' mother.....I'll post some others...a bit later I have to transfer them from paper to computer and some of them are really bad. |
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Oct 15 2004, 07:31 PM
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#2
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
Fate eh? Interesting name for a poem but anyways. Post up your poems anyway. Even if you think they might suck others might like 'em never kno.
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Oct 15 2004, 07:35 PM
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#3
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 aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
i like it jason keep posting
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Oct 15 2004, 07:36 PM
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#4
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
hmmm interesting piece i like it good job man every writing piece counts...even if u say its bad theres always something good about it once again good job keep it up
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Oct 15 2004, 11:28 PM
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#5
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Really good, but I think you can have a stronger finish.
Hope to see more work from you. |
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Oct 15 2004, 11:30 PM
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#6
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Maggot Rocker Group: Member Posts: 396 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,016 |
haha yeah ;D it was my very work so I know its not that good ;D but thanks for the comments I'll post more once I transfer some of my other stuff off paper.
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