Im a failure help me, boy issues >< Options

[Kitten_0643]

I just made a completely new account on createblog.com and a new email addy just to be able to post this as anonymous as possible. So to start off... i must warn you taht this is probably gonna be long so u can fully understand my situation.. but i will spare you most of the not so important details.

So... I met this guy... beginning of freshmen year, thru my older brother. He's a really awesome guy, someone i can really relate to and talk to. After some rumors went out that I had liked him, he asked me to the school dance, which would be my first HS dance. He was a Junior in HS at the time. We went, had an awesome time, a friend of mine saw us holding hands and freaked and thought we going out and said, "omg iknew this day would come!! " so embarrassing Later that night we had talked about what happened with my dear friend that thought we were going out and he was like, "what would you say if I asked you out." Okay.. my answer would have TOTALLY be yes!! I'd love to date you! but... I remember how much I love and respect my parents to the word they didn't want me to date yet, i explained to him about my parent situation and my brother and him being friends. and somehow we drifted away from that and had even a better time at the dance. So the dance was awesome...

Because of my growing relationship with this boy.. some of the people we hung out with hated me.. mostly the girls... that i didnt' know... did i mention one was a girl he dated before he met me? I had asked him at the dance if he had feeligns for her still and he had said, "no that was a really long time ago,im over it" So you could say i was pretty well hated and despised at the time. So a month later i was to sit with him on some roadtrip. Guess that changed and i sat with my brother. My most miserable time of my life btw. He didn't really talk to me the entire trip but that was mostly because I didn't really hang out with the group at that time. So the 2nd dance of the year was coming up... I was really looking forward to it actually.. of course i wanted 2 go with 'him'. That was before this other girl came along.. his good friend from mid school that had a boyfriend at the time. Guess the bf didn't wanna go to a dance so she asked him. He said yes and that night couple friends came over with him to my house. Thy talked about the dance and my friend talked to him about me. She asked him if he still liked me and he said, "yeah" and she was like, "so why aren't u going to the dance with her?" and he said, "well the only reason i broke up with her was because of her parents.. could she even go?" well... my reaction was.. "well i went with u to the last dance... " and.. "broke up?! I didnt even know we were going out?!" Sooo... that night didn't end by just that.. I had to completely get embarrassed cuz my cell phone at the time had a banner that said, "--His initials-- Lovr" cuz of a friend of mine put that on there and i never changed it.. well.. one of the people of that night had read it outloud.. to EVERYBODY... my god could that night have sucked anymore? Well the dance came.. didn't talk to him... til the end when he came up and talked to me.. although it was brought to my attention that he had been staring at me all night.. which was later proven correct.

So skip about a couple months... into summer.. and remember that one girl that i asked if he still had feelings for? Yeah well not only did he forget he told me that, he went out with her.. AGAIN. So school starts, 1st dance of the year came and I had went with no one.. cuz it was the same dance I had first went to with him. So plan was, if anyone asked, I went with my best friend who i was ddating at the time, who was from outta state but went bak so couldn't make it. I hung out with the group he was in, even though he was dating that one girl but i still had fun. mid way in the dance he asked me who i went with.. and i went with the plan and ran away.. then next day, went to a friend's concert with him and sitting in the auditorium.. he asked me again.. and looking at him.. i couldn't tell him that the boy i was suppose to be with was my boyfriend.. so i said, "he's a....... really.... goood.... friend..." okay so i just called my boyfriend, my really good friend.. wow im a jerk so i broke it off with him. So the guy i liked and his gf broke up finally and yeah there so ends that...

Winter came, and He was one of the few people i hung out with alot during the break. Then my best ffrined at the time liked him and i wanted to die? yes... but rumors spread of me being a liar and I was excluded outta the group for sometime until just this summer. I repatched most of all the broken friendships and me and the guy talks alot now. We play online together and he talks about me to people he doesn't even know in real life and said that me and him dated... well that got me angry because he was get anal on me when i admitted we dated.. so technically.. everything i say was wrong, and he was right even if we meant and said the same thing. He dont know how he flirts with girls since he acts the same to every girl he knows.. thats cuz every girl has liked him >< he's pimpin' sorta he's not a player, he just has lots of girls. So things we're going really awesome-- then i disappeared for 2 weeks and he's going out with someone.. yeah wtf? but that didn't last and now we're back at talkign to each other non stop... i've liked him for two years, and i've been tryin to get over him, and it doesn't help when he acts the way he does towards me, kind of leading me on, he knows i like him... i just dont know what to do anymore. I've tried dating other people.. but i told u how that turned out.. "hes a real good friend" and some of the things he does really bothers me, but i like him for who he is when he's not in a group, when he's in a group, he's all fun and games and his brain is defintely out of the window... I dont know what to do.. i'm leavign details out to spare u the time.. but what do u think? does he like me? does he hate me? god dammit someone tell me! I dont care if ur mean, tell me anyway, maybe i'll help me get over him. advice advice advice.. is needed very much please.. please please. help

thx...