crap poem, blah |
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 Oct 4 2004, 07:36 PM
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#1
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 Can't have the hand without the cock.  Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622  |
a light shone brightly across midnight`s death
bury me deep, i cried. looking above, a muffled cry of anguish runs chills down my spine. pricks my neck as a shadow casts over me circling my hope and laughter, gazing fire down upon me i run feeling it`s eyes whisper hate into my blood.. poisoning my veins, extracting my joy. with one quick sweep i fall helplessly. blinded in moments. but with you. with the hold of you. im indestructable --- Blegh. that sucked arse.  oh wells, first post thingy majiggy for me. |
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Oct 4 2004, 07:54 PM
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#2
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
kinda lost me jambajuice but yeh that was good keep it up
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Oct 4 2004, 08:28 PM
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#3
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Hey, welcome to the Writing forums.
I liked what you posted, not bad.  QUOTE Blegh. that sucked arse. Don't be so hard on yourself. It was good. Hope to see you more often around here. -Joe |
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Oct 4 2004, 08:43 PM
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#4
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
lol. wow, i have feedback. amazing.
and im always hard on myself, because it seems that whatever i do is never "good enough" or "acceptable" and when i try, i end up failing. so i dont bother "to try" and im sorrie if i lost you, i was trying to say the sdhfaksalskdjf of things like "eyes whisper" and my ending was pretty bad, but yeah, its basically asking for someone to catch me when i fall. blah, wth am i saying.
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Oct 4 2004, 08:54 PM
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#5
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
lovely poem =P Welcome to cb forums and hope you actually stay =P
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Oct 4 2004, 10:00 PM
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#6
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
That's really good. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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