desperate measures |
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desperate measures |
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![]() Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,419 ![]() |
there was this guy that was really down on his luck: he had lost his job and his home, his wife ran away with his plumber, his parents had disowned him, and he has to pay amnesty to his children. one day, he was on a bus heading nowhere when this OLD lady got on and proceeded towards him. she noticed his melancholy state of being and asked him what was ailing him. he told her about his troubles. "well," said the old lady, "you might be in luck. you see young man, i am actually a witch, and i can make all your troubles go away." before the man could get excited she added, "but on one condition," she continued, "you have to make love to me." the man figured that he's got nothing left to lose, so he might as well go for it.
upon arriving at the lady's house, she proceeded to undress herself. now, this woman was UGLY: she had liver spots all over her, breasts were sagging all the way down to her knees, and wrinkles smothered her body. she was horrifyingly UGLY. the man realised that he was doing this to get his life back, so he went on with it. the next morning, after they were done, the old lady and the man were laying in bed. he was feeling very dirty right about now. the lady turned to him and asked if he would like some breakfast. the man denied and got dressed to leave. the lady put on her robe and walked him to the door. "now, are you sure everything is back to normal?" the man asked. "of course, "said the lady, "you still have your job and home, your wife and kids are back at home and love you dearly, and you're relationship with your parents is okay." he thanked her and proceeded to leave. for the first time in weeks, he felt great knowing his life was put back together. he walked out the door and walked down the stairs of her porch. he turned to her and thanked her again. the lady then stopped him and asked, "by the way, young man, how old are you?" "well, im 28," said the man. "well, aren't you a little old to be believing in witches?" the lady said and slammed the door. |
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