Createblog diary., version 2 Options

[dreamerOi]

dear diary,

yesterday i was walking& people kept saying hi red riding hood. . &came home went on aim& talked to steven. i think i like him. he likes someone else. he likes everyone actually. hahaa. but he likes a certain girl more i think.

linda

[faithin_felix]

dear diary,

im doin good at school now. well so i think.
yesterday was halloween. shot bottle rockets and crackling bombs and lit some sparklers...the girls think its cute, so ya w/e. lol, and ya i was walking twick and tweeting and this ppl throw firecrackers at us...scared us ><" and this ppl egged us. and this one time i almost got targeted but i did some matrix dodge and dodged in last millisecond and yelled matrix dodge at them. crazy sheit. HAPPY HALLOWEEEN 2 ALL. a bit late tho.

NOVEMBER IS A NEW START FOR EVERYONE!

>>faithin felix

[Heathasm]

dear cb diary

today i got new panties
they are so sexy

[PinkTrash]

dear diary,

k my oh so boring life. little 10 year olds are trying to cuss me up and trying to do shit to me? k thats funny, it really is. -,- pfft.

[silver-rain]

dear cb diary,
arggg. i have an apbio test and an english test tomorrow- which i have yet to study for! also, i'm in a dilema. i had a great time today with a friend, but then, later, he asks me out! eh, i think he's cool and all, but i don't like him in that way. i think i still like my ex.. actually, i know i still like him. i can't stop thinking about and obsessing over him... grr this is annoying me. i wonder what my friend thinks my answer is...
and omg, why is kerry losing??? he better win ohio or else we're in for 4 more years of being run by a terrible president.

[someflipguy]

Dear CB diary,

Ive never noticed how I see myself. Sometimes I say the wrongs things towards other people, and them taking it the wrong should make me feel bad. But, it doesn't does this mean that I don't care about other people. Or does it mean that I don't care what they think about me! I told myself time and time again that I don't wanna die alone and I want someone to be with and love before I die. These thoughts run through my head especially today with the troubles my parents are having and troubles my parents and my brother are having. I feel like that I am stuck in the middle of all this and I just don't understand what the deal is right now. I need some understanding from somebody or something. I pray for my family to heal their differences but praying right now is not helping. I need something more.

[waccoon]

I'm so confused.

[faithin_felix]

I'm so confused.

dear diary,

lifes good. all good. think +++++++++

peace out.

currently listening: IN THE END REMIX

>> faithin felix

[dreamerOi]

dear diary,

i hurt steven. he hurt me first. i sound like a kid. he cried. im shocked. i almost did something stupid again. i ate too much today. he acted as if he didnt care today. but you could just tell he did.

linda

[*mSz_dOrk_anGeL*]

Dear createBlog Diary,

This is my first time doing this. It's almost 2:15 in the morning, and here I am with no one for me to cry to.

About a month ago, I met a boy named James Foley. He's 13 like me and he's going to be 14 next month. He also shows dogs, that is how I met him. We soon became very close. Just today, well yesterday since it's now the 5th here on the east coast, I found out something that broke my heart. James' family received news that his aunt had until March 5th of next year to live. She has terminal cancer in the lungs and brain. The moment he showed me that in his xanga (the one he only lets me see and whoever passes by it) i walked into my living room and I said, 'Mom, James' aunt ..' at that moment I fell to the floor crying my eyes out telling her the news. I have never been so upset about a friend’s family member dieing or becoming sick in my life. The only time I have been this upset about someone's death was when my grandfather died almost eight years ago. This is all from his xanga.

'It must have been about five years ago when it all started. My aunt, who will now be called Fran, ran a limousine service for travelers in Denver, Colorado. She had just dropped off a client at the Denver Airport and was driving her Ford Town car back to Denver to shuttle another customer. She was getting off the highway onto a ramp, and followed the 25 MPH speed limit.

A tour bus came onto the ramp behind her. However, it was going much too fast, and rear-ended her. The bus drove over the car, stopping one and a half inches from Fran's seat. She received massive head trauma, had almost all of her ribs shattered, ruptured two vertebrae, and broke her right arm.

Fran was rescued from the Town car, and transported to a nearby hospital for emergency medical treatment. She was later sent into a drug-induced coma - she was not expected to live. However, after daily doses of over twenty different pills and physical therapy Fran recovered. She moved back into her home from the hospital and lived a normal life.

It was later found out, according to witnesses on the bus, that the driver had fallen asleep. He had gone onto the ramp, and fallen asleep. His foot pushed down the gas, and the bus had reached over 60 MPH. According to the police, it was a miracle Fran was not crushed and instantly killed.

Fran lived normally for over a year, and visited her family doctor for a routine mammogram. The results were grim - she had breast cancer. After surviving the horror of the car accident, and years of medical treatment to get her back on track, Fran had mid-stage breast cancer. The doctors may be able to save her life.

Again, Fran fought. After a year of chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries, the cancer subsided and was gone altogethor. Ecstatic with her second victory over death, Fran continued on in her life - shaken but not beaten. She proceded to visit all of her family members - over twelve siblings, and over a hundred neices and nephews - within the next year.

Fran continued to have bloodwork done to test for cancer. It was possible that the cancer had spread - but not likely. The doctors said it had looked good for her, and that this was the end of her worries. They were wrong. My family received word on the night of November 3, 2004, that Fran had cancer. It was now located in her lungs and brain, and the doctors hadn't caught it quick enough. Fran has until March 4, 2005, to live.

On March 4, 2005, I may be losing my favorite aunt. The one that loved me, but I didn't appreciate. The one that cared for me, but I didn't listen to. The one who told me wonderful stories, but I didn't hear. The one who hugged me, but I didn't hug back. The one I thought was annoying. The one I wanted to leave. And now, I realize how much I loved her. How much I really cared for her. And now, I probably won't see her again. She will die loving me, as she always has. And now I realize... What have I done?'

All we can do is hope. She got over it once, and now all we can do is pray. As I write this for total strangers to read I still find my cheeks covered in tears. I want to do something so bad. This isn't far. I love James so much; he has now taken Ari's place as the one guy I can tell anything to and now be afraid. I cannot stop crying. In two weeks, I'm going to see James, and I know the first thing I'm doing when I see him, all I want to do is just hug him and never let him go. Why does there have to be cancer?! Why!? Why her!? Why Jon's mother!? Why just why!? There's things to stunt the growth of the multiplying cells, but now they just have to detect the cancer early enough. I just wish I could do something. This is the greatest county of them all, and yet with all our rich and powerfulness .. This thing is killing innocent people, but of course, there is never enough money to spend to fund more research, but there is always enough for P. Diddy's new hummer. I just don't understand. This isn't fair. So now, I ask onto those who read this while skimming though all the other posts, please keep her in your prayers. Now I will close this at 2:31 in the morning, red-eyed and scared with this from the song 'I will remember you' by Sarah McLachlan. I have been listing to this song for the past hour over and over.


'Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories'

I love you James, may we just hope.

[dreamerOi]

dear diary,

im cold. i think i want to see richard. i dont like him much but. im always happy when i see him. he disappoints me though. i need comfort again. i want warmth. my bodys turning to ice.

linda

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

finally feeling better. effing mono. anyways, life is okay...i guess. i miss mark a lot. i get to see him so rarely it really sucks. damn parents. and i'm becoming so attached to my guy friends, especially andrew, adrian, and john. not attached like THAT but...attached. i dunno. its hard to explain...but yeah. school is stressful. i hate physics. and math. BLAH. and i'm so busy. i have no time for myself anymore, it sucks....

[faithin_felix]

dear diary,

i think i got 0 today on a quiz. lol. school is just complicated. but i struggle to understand. I know if i don't work hard now, it will be even harder for me in the future. away from school, i don't really have anyone i trust in this world. not that i did before but the person that I should actually trust is myself. have faith. i don't love anyone. and no body loves me. sounds fair. i'm not worth anyones love. after school, today went to my friends house to play hockey. and then went to other friend's house and played PS2 and PC. well cb diary, i don't share everything here because any one can read it. But it's basically it.

Yours truly,
faithin_felix

[dreamerOi]

dear diary,

i noticed some things i cant post on my xanga but i can post on my cb entries. i guess its because the judging -_- er. anyways im over it. well sort of. so i got in touch with a bunch of old friends. and it was all good and stuff. pretty awesome.

linda

[PinkTrash]

dear diary,

my birthday in a few weeks and I hate life. kasjfa The only way I can sleep is if I cry myself. frig I so cannot wait till this year ends, all this jock drama in such a prep school. I hate thiss and I dont wanna be part of it. high school=> suckz. hate life.

[RiddleMeWonders]

I'm a mess.
I might not be able to go see Co&Ca saturday, because Ma forgot to mention that she's leaving for Amarillo with dad on friday. That means, I've got the twins to look after for the weekend.
Why is my life so shitty?
And why the hell..... I'm out of place.

I want my childhood.
I want my memories.
I want my faith, love.
I want my melodies.

It was so much easier when I had those things. I didn't care what kind of clothes I wore. I didn't think about what I ate. I wasn't quiet or shy. I had at least 8 boys wanting to be my boyfriends. Ugh. Then I turned 11, got fat, moved to Hickville, and lost my pizzazz.

Now no one sees me, and that is really okay with me sometimes.. but when they see me doing something outrageous they're like "Lindsey what's gotten into you? Really, you should calm down. You're so different." Some times I just want to shake people.

I'm a person that likes things because I LIKE THEM. I could give a rats ass if Jen I'm-So-Hot-In-my-poser-emo-get-up-and-out Corduroy-jacket gave me the emo-fashion not look.

I wear what I like. I eat what I like. I listen to what I like. And I watch the people I like.

I do not mutilate what I like. I do not ban others from wearing what I like. And I wear what I like even if it's out of style.
So if I come to school, or Gary's or Whereever the f**k I'm at, having pictures of what was a great weekend, or singing some song that I love, you do not tell me the following : "Since when did you---?" Or do the challenge thing "How long have you liked them?" or "You went with Byrd? How much did you pay him to take you?"


If you don't want to know me, don't act like you do.

I can't believe I talked so much negative in one run.

Anyway. I'm done..

Thanks, cB.
You're editing box did me some comfort.

[ANG33ZY]

Dear Diary,

Today I went to Tao San Jin. It's a Chinese Restaurant. I'm loving the Shrimp Walnuts or whatever they're called .. I'm waiting until its 12AM to watch Fullmetal Alchemist. Argh, I don't feel like doing my homework ... Umm, Kings lost again making it 0-3. Lol damn they suck. I am really bored and i'm missing my special someone. Okay bye

- Angela

[PinkTrash]

dear diary

Im staying up too late these days. 5 clock. 0-0

[dreamerOi]

Dear diary,

Joeto. You have twinkle toes. Hhaha here look at this. Polka dots can rock my socks. Tofu can lock my Rocks. but you surely are one weird Cock. !!!! AHAHAHA. EWWWWW no. i didnt meant that. hahaaa. i couldnt think of anything that rhymed and that just killed it. hahaa woah anywys. dear diary. like i was talking to him and i think hes drunk but thats alright cause thats pretty funny. hahaa. yea. anyways. im done. i think. hahah. haha hes doing some weird voice &hes VIET woah. woah now hes doing the hawaiin voice its pretty hilarious. man i swear hes so funny. im practically crying. oh yea when he sang that was so cute. hahahaha. yea but he thinks he sucks even though he doesnt. ah. alright whew im done.

linda.

[PinkTrash]

Dear diary,

Sunday morning. Must; finish my english essay and study for my big science exam next week. also I am forgetting I ever knew a person named dylan, and dont ever remind me that I ever knew him. Erasing my memory forever. =] Ill be better off doing that. alot better. wish me the best

sandi <<3

[dreamerOi]

dear diary,

i just woke up &my back aches i must have slept weird. i still need to brush my teeth. its been one minute since i woke up and i still havent . today i really really need to finish my english homework. &start on chem. im gone. -_-. with my smelly breath.

linda

[xquizit]

Dear CB Diary,

My boyfriend is depressed and it hurts me. I keep trying to cheer him up by just being the best friend I can be but it doesn't seem to work anymore. I try to remind him each day how much I love and care for him but it doesn't seem to have much of an effect on him. And at the same time, when he doesn't respond to me, it really hurts my feelings. Since he's been depressed, he's been treating me differently. He's not as loving or as affectionate. Sometimes he's even neglectful. He doesn't make me feel special or beautiful anymore. Sometimes, he doesn't even seem that interested in talking to me. Ugh, does this make me a self centered bitch? I mean, my boyfriend is depressed and I'm upset because he doesn't pay me as much attention anymore.

[jambaJUICE]

Dear CB Diary,

Why is time running so fast? I can barely keep up with it. I keep having these emotional breakdowns, it`s so frequent that it happened at school two times this past week. I can`t help it anymore. And i don`t know why I keep crying.

But something hurts inside me, and i feel like my heart is empty. I want it to stop.
I`m so confused.

And everyone seems to notice, and I'm telling them it's nothing, and that I'm fine.
They only ask me if something`s wrong..

And what`s so ironic, is that they`re the ones making me cry..

I`m becoming so lost in my own words.

-Stephanie

[*mSz_dOrk_anGeL*]

Dear cB Diary,

So I'm here again at 2 am online.

I listen to the piano of Only Hope by Mandy Moore. No, I don't really like her music, but this song. Beh, me and James are always listing and/or singing it. I get to see that kid in five more days. I'm so excited. We plan on watching 'a Walk to Remember' in his car since I'll bring my laptop to the show. It's one where you can't leave the show site until 5 pm. So were gonna have hours of nothing to do. So, we both love the movie, which lead to me now putting on my list of things to pack the DVD and my compeh. He wrote in his xanga ( the one he only lets me see and random people who pass it ) that all his friends have like, changed. They don't talk to him as much, and he finds himself not being able to tell them about his feelings. But me, me he says he dumps everything on. Which I don't mind at all. He said 'The only person who is really talking to me is Shelby, and it's kind of pathetic. Since she's the only one, it's like I'm taking all of my feelings and dumping them on her... I think I'm emotionally attached to her.' I feel special. Me and him are getting closer and I love it. I can't wait till next month, I will be spending the weekend at his house for a Dog Show cluster. Mom said that over spring break he can come spend the weekend and over the summer he can come as much as he wants.

But then there's a boy, who I like very much. I won't say his name, but I have this amazing feeling about him. I'm not afraid of him. That is a big deal since Matt. I can't trust guys, I really can't. This one I can. I feel that he likes me alot too. I mean I REALLY believe someone for once. He makes me smile. Alot, so much I think that all I want to do is be next to him for the rest of my life.

In other news, Mike and Amanda, two very good friends think I'm to skinny and I need to GAIN weight. Amanda thinks I need a doctor for my 'disorder'. I don't have one really. I just go to eat and it's like .. Beh whats the point? Iunno.

But I'm happy.
This guy makes me so happy it should be wrong.
And I have Jamesh.

I feel like I am happy, I look forward to the day.

[meandonlyme]

ummmmm....ok

dear stupid diary,

i had school......there you f*cking happy?


meg