Th5418's Guide To Relationships Options

[MeanBastard]

1) How do I get into a relationship?
Find someone you like and ask them out. If they say no, then too bad. If they say yes, hopefully it will continue into one.

2) I like someone, what should I do?
Two choices, first choice is to throw a hissy fit in your room everyday for being a moron. Second choice is to ask them out.

3) How do I reject someone?
Say no. Like how you say no to drugs. I can't believe I even made this a question.

4) How do I breakup with someone?
Tell them you don't feel that way about them anymore. No, there is no other way. No, nothing else will work. Yes, tell them as soon as possible.

5) Should I give them something for their birthday/christmas/anniversary/valentines? What?
Whatever you want. Its the thought that counts, usually.

6) Help! I like this one guy/girl but my best friend likes him/her too! What should I do?
Make a competition with your best friend to score first. Trust me, it will work. If he/she says no, then find someone else to like.

[7) Help! I like my best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend!
You make me sick. Don't tell your friend. Or you can, and ruin everything. And dont act upon your feelings. Sicko.

8) I like these two guys and they like me back too, who do I choose?
You make me sick whore. Don't go out with any of them because you obviously don't like either of them.

[9) My parents wont let me date! Oh noes!
What they don't know cant hurt them in this case.

10) I'm homosexual but others dont know and I like my best friend!
Want to make things awkward? Heres your chance to do so. So tell them if you do! If not, then don't say anything unless they understand. When I say understand, I mean they are not stupid fcuktards that use gay to describe everything.

11) Do long distance relationships work?
Sometimes, if you've got patience to wait.

12) Do internet relationships work?
Yes, now go to your 80 year old boyfriend/girlfriend. 99% percent of the time.

13) My boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on me! What do I do?
If you want, continue going out. The obvious thing is to break up.

14) Should I have sex?
Yes, use protection.

15) My ex is bullying my crushes and harrassing them, what do I do?
Depends how old you are. If you are mature enough, sue their ass for emotional damage and battery. The other choice is to tell some administration. But you can always have your current buddy be beat the **** out of.

This is brought to you by me. Yes I was bored. Bored as fcuk. If you have any more quesitons post them and I will update.

First Dates
[1) Where should I go on my first date?
Wherever you want. In fact, maybe hell would be a good choice if you want nudity. After all, hell is pretty hot that the girl might start stripping.

2) Should I be asking her/him personal questions?
Yes, in fact ask her if she has a vibrator. Or ask him if he masturbates. Smooth moves.
"Do you have a vibrator?"
"Yeah, I plan to shove it up your arsehole, jerk."

3) My date is going to be on Blind Date or The Third Wheel. (stupid dating shows) Should I make a grand entrance?
Yeah, make the WHOLE world hate you. Its a good idea.

4) I want to have sex on the first date, what should I do?
Well, just keep making sexual suggestions. If you guys have sex, goodie for you. Guess it will keep going. If not, well there won't be a second date so you wouldn't have to be reminded of the horror. Pervert.

5) I want to make a move, but I'm too shy. What should I do?
Get ready for a romantic moment. Beats me, I'm too tired for this crap.