New Spelling Changes Options

[F1R3B4T]

The European Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainley, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this
klear up konfusion, but typewriters and komputers kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make
words like "fotograf" 20 percent shorter. In the third year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage
the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent
"e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year,
peopl wil be replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year,
ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar
changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.