Funny Quotes Options

[LilPiggi3]

-|-How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
-|-The more you cry, the less you have to pee.
-|-War determines not who is right, but who is left
-|-Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
-|-If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
-|-If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
-|-Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-|-If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-|-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
-|-Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
-|-Why does your nose run, and your feet smell
-|-Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills
-|-What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant
-|-I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
-|-Headaches are all in your mind
-|-Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers
-|-Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear using that language are teenagers
-|-Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling. (Limit $1 per order)
-|-The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population
-|-Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings..... they did it by killing all those who opposed them
-|-Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
xchoklaholikx: haha
-|-Whoever says that the small things don't matter should try sleeping with a mosquito in the room.
-|-Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your lower half unprotected
-|-"Everything has a purpose" he said for no reason at all.
-|-I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
-|-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
-|-If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
-|-Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
-|-Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring <--i dunt get it
-|-I didn't say it was your fault. I just said I was going to blame you
-|-What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
-|-There are three types of people in this world - those who can count, and those who can't.
-|-Friends don't set friends on fire.
-|-Chocolate is the answer to EVERYTHING
-|-A day without sunshine is like...night
-|-Always remember you're UNIQUE just like everyone else.
-|-Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot