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Things Sed In Court
F1R3B4T
post Aug 6 2004, 12:32 AM
Post #1


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Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: Please state the nature of your relationship to the minor child?
A: I\'m his mother.
Q: And you have been so all of his life?

Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Attorney: Male sperm?
Q: That is the only kind I know.

Q: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant?
A: The young lady is pregnant ? but not as a result of my examination.


Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
 
*CEP*
post Aug 6 2004, 12:34 AM
Post #2





Guest
QUOTE
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Whoever asked the questions, should jump off the bridge right now.
He is unfit to live on earth.
Hell would be a better place for him.

- Chinkieeyedpnoi
 
x AZN D0RKii x
post Aug 6 2004, 12:48 AM
Post #3


tag! you're it! ;D
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haha uh .. no. i don't get it. _unsure.gif
 
EmeraldKnight
post Aug 6 2004, 12:51 AM
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Hahaha the ending's the funniest part tongue.gif
 
AznKutie
post Aug 6 2004, 12:57 AM
Post #5


I Luv Yooh!
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hahaha!! i read these somewhere i think...
 
DarkCrescentMoon
post Aug 6 2004, 12:58 AM
Post #6


memories echo the silence
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uhm... _unsure.gif i dont get it.. cry.gif
 
*RiC3xBoy*
post Aug 6 2004, 01:26 AM
Post #7





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i dun get it either wacko.gif
 
SarahxJoy
post Aug 6 2004, 01:30 AM
Post #8


What the fack.
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I don't really get it 'til the end. But okay..Lol.
 
dani41790
post Aug 6 2004, 01:34 AM
Post #9


Hi! I'm Dani :)
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haha my god some people can be so stoopid
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 6 2004, 03:30 AM
Post #10


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well i guess the beginning jsut builds up the story to the part where the joke is that ppl who practise law [lawyers] dont haf a brain [aka. stupid]
 
xxTiNEExx
post Aug 6 2004, 05:43 AM
Post #11


life is short...and so am i..
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haha. ive seen these before. theyre hilarious. makes you wonder what how hard it is to qualify to be a lawyer/prosecutor/whatever these days....
 
tootsie_kiddo
post Aug 6 2004, 02:01 PM
Post #12


Your love is a razorblade kiss ♥
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i lyk the last one most
 
ComradeRed
post Aug 6 2004, 06:44 PM
Post #13


Dark Lord of McCandless
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These are my favorite Cross-Examination moment.

Congress Cross-X moments:
[Kid gives a speech on why we need National ID Cards to prevent spying]
Q: Privyet, I'm vith Department of State Security, may we see your indentification papers please, Comrade?
A: Uh...Uh...
Q: You have no identification? Zen you must be capitalist spy, nyet?
A: No...
Q: Would you like to have Boris and Alexei over for little tea and chat, da?
A: Um...

[Guy gives a speech -- one line is "This bill is like Swiss Cheese, it's full of holes and it stinks]
Q: Would the speaker rather have Swiss Cheese or none at all?
A: Well, I guess Swiss cheese is better than no cheese...

Debate Cross-X moments:
Q: You stated in your case that the Earth was really old, what relevance does this have to the topic?
A: Because we should respect it since it has seniority over us.
Q: So because I'm a junior and you're a freshman, I should win this round?
A: No...
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 7 2004, 12:09 AM
Post #14


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QUOTE(ComradeRed @ Aug 6 2004, 6:44 PM)
These are my favorite Cross-Examination moment.

Congress Cross-X moments:
[Kid gives a speech on why we need National ID Cards to prevent spying]
Q: Privyet, I'm vith Department of State Security, may we see your indentification papers please, Comrade?
A: Uh...Uh...
Q: You have no identification? Zen you must be capitalist spy, nyet?
A: No...
Q: Would you like to have Boris and Alexei over for little tea and chat, da?
A: Um...

[Guy gives a speech -- one line is "This bill is like Swiss Cheese, it's full of holes and it stinks]
Q: Would the speaker rather have Swiss Cheese or none at all?
A: Well, I guess Swiss cheese is better than no cheese...

Debate Cross-X moments:
Q: You stated in your case that the Earth was really old, what relevance does this have to the topic?
A: Because we should respect it since it has seniority over us.
Q: So because I'm a junior and you're a freshman, I should win this round?
A: No...

LOL LMAO THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL!!!!!
thanks for posting it!! laugh.gif
 
*Kathleen*
post Aug 8 2004, 12:48 AM
Post #15





Guest
QUOTE
Debate Cross-X moments:
Q: You stated in your case that the Earth was really old, what relevance does this have to the topic?
A: Because we should respect it since it has seniority over us.
Q: So because I'm a junior and you're a freshman, I should win this round?
A: No...

Wow. That person must be an idiot. whistling.gif
 
Caustic
post Aug 8 2004, 06:23 AM
Post #16


rawr
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QUOTE(CEP @ Aug 5 2004, 10:34 PM)
Whoever asked the questions, should jump off the bridge right now.
He is unfit to live on earth.
Hell would be a better place for him.

- Chinkieeyedpnoi

I agree.
 
elmogurly
post Aug 9 2004, 05:07 AM
Post #17


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I don't get it... huh.gif
 
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