my first love, is leaving.. help... Options

[asiangetokewl]

So yea... if you read the title of this post, it is indeed about my first love, girlfriend, HH buddy, whatever you want to call it. She is leaving my life forever to go off to college on August 17th.

I should be happy for her since she is finally out of HS and off to somewhere new where she can encounter more first than she ever could back here at home. Well... yes, I am indeed happy for her; she finally can pursue a life out of this home of hers. But... for some reason when I found out that she was leaving... I wasn't at all happy. I felt... more sorrow than glee. I didn't want her to leave...

She was my first girlfriend and childhood friend... so that sums up to be about spending 10 years of our lives knowing each other. You could ask her anything about me and she'd know that about me, and vice versa. I couldn't hide anything from her nor could she from me.

So yea... I'm jumping everywhere is this post because my mind isn't sorted all out properly. Dah... well, when I heard she was leaving, my love for her that I tried to hide away so many times, which I eventually did about 3 or 4 months ago, arose from my subconscious...



I still love her...



Now though... I have no idea what to do! I don't know if she has moved on already. I don't know what she thinks of me, or if she even thinks about me as a matter of fact. I don't know... what to do. I want to appear at her door tomorrow morning and say it to her face, regardless for what she feels for me, "I still love you..." But then another part of me says... "Don't do that... it's been about 7 months since we broke up, why would she still harbor feelings for you!? She has moved on..."

I honestly don't know what to do. Should I tell her I still love her or just leave what's in the past, in the past? Please help me... I don't have much time, August 17th is so close. Please help me createbloggers... please...

chris