generation gaps Options

[brooklyneast05]

how do you feel about this? does it ring true or are we still at fault? i think the majority of us would agree kids are f*cked up nowadays. even people in their early 20's like me feel that kids are f*cked up and that it's a world apart from how it was when we were kids. what happened? or is this just how it works, and we are forever destined to think the generation in below us is f*cked? at what point does it get to be too messed up? now we hear stories of 5th graders giving head in the bathroom or other bizarre sounding events. regardless of whether my generation was f*cked up at 11 years old, that's not the kind of f*cked up people were complaining about i don't think. how important is this and how is it going to shape our world? how big an effect does the loss of innocence have. i'm not talking completely about sex, but i guess sex related is just a good example. i'm more talking about the fact that it seems like kids have an increasingly more narrow frame of time to be kids. is it going to go to the point where they don't have a childhood hardly at all?

[heyo-captain-jac...]

I feel as if I'm desensitized whenever I see horrific things, but now days kids are joking about the same horrific things I can only look at. I've seen people get killed, I know what it looks like. And I can tell you I would never be able kill someone, but little kids all the time are joking about killing people.

I'm not sure if they just don't know what they're talking about, or if they're genuinely more f*cked up than the previous generations.

And the parents don't help, either. When I was little, my parents wouldn't even think to let me play an M rated game. Now my four year old cousin's favourite game is Grand Theft Auto 4. When I was his age my favourite game was f*cking Super Mario Brothers, a game where peak violence is jumping on your enemy's head. And the first R rated movie I ever saw? It was Hotel Rwanda. I have younger cousins that have seen gory movies like Faces of Death and racist movies like Boss Nigger, all under the careless supervision of their parents.

Parents now are also afraid to discipline their kids. When I did something wrong, I got whipped on the ass with a fiberglass rod, or had to kneel on rice for half an hour. When my younger brother did something wrong, he got five minutes in time out, which consisted of sitting on the couch.

[brooklyneast05]

yeah desensitized is probably a better phrasing/word than when i said loss of innocence. that's point on what i'm talking about. kids nowadays seem extremely desensitized to a wide range of things, whether it be sex or violence, or anything else. like you said, stuff kids do nowadays i couldn't have dreamed up. me and my friends had to sneak around to rent grand theft auto because my parents wouldn't rent it for us.

now it seems like people are unable to flirt with the line when it comes to sheltering. it's a terrible thing to shelter your kid to an extreme extent, i think it does them a lot of damage. but it seems like we're (society in general i guess) going too far opposite of that. kids need to be sheltered to an extent. i don't feel like parents shelter their kids enough and it does equally as much damage. there's a fine line, and as we progress we should be moving closer to the line. we shouldn't be missing it by 100 yards in either direction.

[sixfive]

I think a lot of parents nowadays are afraid to discipline their kids for fear of being complained about to teachers/CPS; I also think a lot of parents just don't care. Compared to 10-15 years ago, technology has advanced to a point where 5 year olds have cell phones, iPods, iPhones, and are starting to get laptops/netbooks at an earlier and earlier age. I don't think this is an issue so much as what they're allowed to do on these that's an issue. I was afraid to use profanity around my parents until I was 19? I'm still hesitant to use it around my younger brothers despite the fact that they use it in school all the time.

Before anyone mentions it, I don't think loss of religiousness is a cause for this whatsoever. My younger brothers and I were all forced to be confirmed and have been 'heavily suggested' to attend church with our parents for certain holidays, but that's it. I don't think any of us are into any particular faith or have a strong belief system, but I think we've all turned out just fine. We're all educated, all have been heavily involved in athletics, two of the three of us attend a four-year university [the third is a straight A student], and none of us have a criminal record.

I think a large cause for a "f*cked up generation" is largely influenced by parents who are irresponsible, don't care, and don't attempt to instill proper values and morals.

[pandemonium]

i think it's both parents & kids... kids have become more spoiled and gained more freedom that we didn't had.. which has led to basically kids doing what they want.. they don't give a shit about sex education.. they think sex is cool (not sayin that it's bad, but for their age) & want to experience it.. which leads to unprotected sex and girls getting pregnant at a young age where they show no maturity therefore raising their children freely..

technological advances too.. but that's also with them being spoiled by their parents... they seriously need to be spanked... i used to get hit all the time.. sometimes with a wet belt.. no kidding.. and no bad words.. i do say them but have never had the balls to say them in front of them
basically the parents are not teaching them morals like before...

[Mikeplyts]

I agree with most of the stuff here but I mean, it can't be just the families themselves. There are more outside influences as well. These would probably include gangs, drug traffic, and most likely, the media. Members in gangs are out searching for kids as young as 11 years old to join them in their crimes, drug traffic heightens risk of drug abuse in young children and more adolescents, and the media (or more specifically, movies and T.V. shows and such) displays more inappropriate and/or illegal content than it used to (if it did at all). I mean, some adults are even being as careless as the kids who are doing stupid shit too.

I may not seem like one to speak (since I am a young teenager), but I don't really do most of that stuff. Of course I know that it goes on because I, of course, know people that do things as such. It just seems like society just got too carried away and irresponsible.

However, you should also realize that there are some people that don't do stupid shit on purpose. Some people are actually f*cked up in the head (in other words, people who are mentally sick and/or insane) and don't know what they're doing.

Also, more and more young children are probably starting to feel like they can handle really big responsibilities that an adult should be handling because of how much they're pushed to be smarter and more mature. However, you can't deny that children don't really know how to be mature (at least, like an adult). Children will always be rebellious either way or another, unless, I guess, parents, guardians, and/or supervisors start to give a damn. Oh, and, unfortunately, some adults that are careless enough to let children do what they want are actually proud of the stupid shit those children do.

I also have a feeling that other adults that do care and do want to help are also kind of being... bystanders. They're probably afraid of what might be the outcome -- a hellhole of people rebelling or a mannerly, proper, organized group of fine citizens who abide by the law. And chances are, with today's society, it'd just be people rebelling. Actually, either way, people rebel. Why? I believe it's just human nature to do whatever the f*ck we want because we feel like we're superior or some shit like that.

Meh.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

I agree with most of the stuff here but I mean, it can't be just the families themselves. There are more outside influences as well. These would probably include gangs, drug traffic, and most likely, the media. Members in gangs are out searching for kids as young as 11 years old to join them in their crimes, drug traffic heightens risk of drug abuse in young children and more adolescents, and the media (or more specifically, movies and T.V. shows and such) displays more inappropriate and/or illegal content than it used to (if it did at all). I mean, some adults are even being as careless as the kids who are doing stupid shit too.

none of that would matter if the parents would keep an eye on their children

I may not seem like one to speak (since I am a young teenager), but I don't really do most of that stuff. Of course I know that it goes on because I, of course, know people that do things as such. It just seems like society just got too carried away and irresponsible.

you're part of the broken generation.

However, you should also realize that there are some people that don't do stupid shit on purpose. Some people are actually f*cked up in the head (in other words, people who are mentally sick and/or insane) and don't know what they're doing.

often a result of not being raised properly.

Also, more and more young children are probably starting to feel like they can handle really big responsibilities that an adult should be handling because of how much they're pushed to be smarter and more mature. However, you can't deny that children don't really know how to be mature (at least, like an adult). Children will always be rebellious either way or another, unless, I guess, parents, guardians, and/or supervisors start to give a damn. Oh, and, unfortunately, some adults that are careless enough to let children do what they want are actually proud of the stupid shit those children do.

once again, problem with the parents

I also have a feeling that other adults that do care and do want to help are also kind of being... bystanders. They're probably afraid of what might be the outcome -- a hellhole of people rebelling or a mannerly, proper, organized group of fine citizens who abide by the law. And chances are, with today's society, it'd just be people rebelling. Actually, either way, people rebel. Why? I believe it's just human nature to do whatever the f*ck we want because we feel like we're superior or some shit like that.

a bunch of kids can't do shit to a bunch of adults.

Meh.

[brooklyneast05]

i duno, i know what you're saying mike. but there's not a giant gap of time. i mean if we're taking my generation vs your generation which isn't a big difference. there were still a lot of the same outside influences. drugs and gang violence aren't something new that kids now deal with now that they didn't 15 - 20 years ago.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

I don't know, the 90s were much different than the 2000s. Mike was what, four when 2000 came around? he doesn't remember any of the 90s, he is a 2000s baby. I can tell you I wasn't anything like Mike when I was his age.

Also, Media is getting better. Video games for example, would you rather have your child raping Indians in Custer's Revenge, or killing Nazis in Call of Duty? And movies, do you want your child watching movies like Gayniggers From Outer Space, or movies like Avatar? Cartoons, Do you want your kid watching blatantly racist shows like Merrie Melodies, or do you want your kids watching less explicit shows like Misadventures of Flapjack?

[brooklyneast05]

yeah the 90s were different but i don't think influences like drugs or gangs and stuff he mentioned was that different. we had all those. media maybe. i duno, media is broad. it's like it's getting better and worse at the same time.

I can tell you I wasn't anything like Mike when I was his age.

this is a good sentence to me because i think this all the time here on cb. not specifically with mike but just like all the people over the years here who have been posting and been 13, 14, 15. i think back to what i was doing or saying when i was 13 and it's a drastic difference.

[superstitious]

yeah desensitized is probably a better phrasing/word than when i said loss of innocence. that's point on what i'm talking about. kids nowadays seem extremely desensitized to a wide range of things, whether it be sex or violence, or anything else. like you said, stuff kids do nowadays i couldn't have dreamed up. me and my friends had to sneak around to rent grand theft auto because my parents wouldn't rent it for us.

now it seems like people are unable to flirt with the line when it comes to sheltering. it's a terrible thing to shelter your kid to an extreme extent, i think it does them a lot of damage. but it seems like we're (society in general i guess) going too far opposite of that. kids need to be sheltered to an extent. i don't feel like parents shelter their kids enough and it does equally as much damage. there's a fine line, and as we progress we should be moving closer to the line. we shouldn't be missing it by 100 yards in either direction.

I think that desensitized is a very appropriate word in this regard. I'll get to why in a bit...

I think a lot of parents nowadays are afraid to discipline their kids for fear of being complained about to teachers/CPS; I also think a lot of parents just don't care. Compared to 10-15 years ago, technology has advanced to a point where 5 year olds have cell phones, iPods, iPhones, and are starting to get laptops/netbooks at an earlier and earlier age. I don't think this is an issue so much as what they're allowed to do on these that's an issue. I was afraid to use profanity around my parents until I was 19? I'm still hesitant to use it around my younger brothers despite the fact that they use it in school all the time.

Before anyone mentions it, I don't think loss of religiousness is a cause for this whatsoever. My younger brothers and I were all forced to be confirmed and have been 'heavily suggested' to attend church with our parents for certain holidays, but that's it. I don't think any of us are into any particular faith or have a strong belief system, but I think we've all turned out just fine. We're all educated, all have been heavily involved in athletics, two of the three of us attend a four-year university [the third is a straight A student], and none of us have a criminal record.

I think a large cause for a "f*cked up generation" is largely influenced by parents who are irresponsible, don't care, and don't attempt to instill proper values and morals.

I agree with much of what you're saying here, but I think that you are also (unless I'm misinterpreting) putting far too much blame on parents. I'm what most would consider a liberal parent but that isn't to say that I don't care. There is a tremendous amount of information and exposure that you have absolutely no power of. You speak of readily available technology (I'm thinking of internet access via cellphones, iTouches, netbooks and the like). You can put all the parental controls you like at home on cable, on the computer, you name it but you're kid can browse YouTube and listen to Sonic cursing up a storm on a fanvid at school using another kid's device. You have authority, you have power but it is undeniably limited.

As an aside, my kid does not own a portable device, other than a DS and PSP (and I have disabled wifi on that, though I'm sure he'll figure that out one day). Of course, he's only ten but I know for a fact that a number of his peers do own mobile internet devices.

I also can relate to the fear of discipline (to a degree). When you're a parent, it often feels like everyone's a friggin judge and has something to say about your parenting. Of course, my situation is a little different than the general parent community because I had a kid with autism. I remember him going through the screaming fit phase (which is apropos for children with autism) and people would stare. STARE. I remember one particular instance that got me so angry, I told the lady to do it... you make him stop. GO FOR IT. I wasn't being negligent, I actually was on the way out of the store. I guess my long winded (go figure) point is that parents often fear the perception of disciplining too harshly yet also have a fear of being perceived of not disciplining enough. You go with your gut, you make mistakes. And yes, there are parents out there that don't care, I understand that. Just wanted to toss a different perspective out there.

i think it's both parents & kids... kids have become more spoiled and gained more freedom that we didn't had.. which has led to basically kids doing what they want.. they don't give a shit about sex education.. they think sex is cool (not sayin that it's bad, but for their age) & want to experience it.. which leads to unprotected sex and girls getting pregnant at a young age where they show no maturity therefore raising their children freely..

technological advances too.. but that's also with them being spoiled by their parents... they seriously need to be spanked... i used to get hit all the time.. sometimes with a wet belt.. no kidding.. and no bad words.. i do say them but have never had the balls to say them in front of them
basically the parents are not teaching them morals like before...

There is definitely fault on both sides - children and parents. I don't know that I would want to generalize by saying that the current youth generation is spoiled, but they are definitely bombarded (which is why, to an extent, I agree with the idea that newer generations have become desensitized) with a myriad of news, images, sounds and so forth. You can't escape it, especially if you lead a mostly sedentary life. When I was young, we didn't even have easy internet access. I had a Commodore 64 and an Atari console. If I wanted to hang out or meet people, I had to leave the house. These days you can meet and chat over the internet. I remember the excitement over pagers even. You couldn't call anyone without your folks knowing about it because you had to use a home phone. It was easier to monitor what your kids were doing back then and kids had to use ingenuity to entertain themselves. Hell, if you wanted to listen to something other than the mundane shit played on the radio, you had discover artists elsewhere. I remember visiting Venice Beach and hoping there was someone handing out mix tapes.

You use spoil, I'm leaning towards a social environment that is becoming a breeding ground for laziness.

i duno, i know what you're saying mike. but there's not a giant gap of time. i mean if we're taking my generation vs your generation which isn't a big difference. there were still a lot of the same outside influences. drugs and gang violence aren't something new that kids now deal with now that they didn't 15 - 20 years ago.

In my opinion, it was easier to get drugs in the 80's and mid 90's. There wasn't nearly as much scrutiny and it was difficult to get caught.

yeah the 90s were different but i don't think influences like drugs or gangs and stuff he mentioned was that different. we had all those. media maybe. i duno, media is broad. it's like it's getting better and worse at the same time.
this is a good sentence to me because i think this all the time here on cb. not specifically with mike but just like all the people over the years here who have been posting and been 13, 14, 15. i think back to what i was doing or saying when i was 13 and it's a drastic difference.

Sometimes it actually seems like it's become a social norm to be a dick, and that general kindness and regard towards others has become a social oddity.

[iRapediCarly]

You all must not be worried too much. The downfall of society is inevitable, but whatever falls down usually gets back up. Usually with zombies, those who survive would recreate humanity basing life on the selected few's views. In other words, a lie isn't all that bad if its for a good purpose, kind of like the bible. Speaking of the bible, there is nothing wrong with God, its the people who follow it that are questionable.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

You all must not be worried too much. The downfall of society is inevitable, but whatever falls down usually gets back up. Usually with zombies, those who survive would recreate humanity basing life on the selected few's views. In other words, a lie isn't all that bad if its for a good purpose, kind of like the bible. Speaking of the bible, there is nothing wrong with God, its the people who follow it that are questionable.

I stopped reading at "zombies."

[Mikeplyts]

I stopped reading at "zombies."

No, you didn't. Liar.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

No, you didn't. Liar.

No, I actually did. I read that and thought I missed something, so I just stopped.

[Mikeplyts]

No, I actually did. I read that and thought I missed something, so I just stopped.

Prove it.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

I already did.

[mipadi]

When you're a parent, it often feels like everyone's a friggin judge and has something to say about your parenting. Of course, my situation is a little different than the general parent community because I had a kid with autism. I remember him going through the screaming fit phase (which is apropos for children with autism) and people would stare. STARE. I remember one particular instance that got me so angry, I told the lady to do it... you make him stop. GO FOR IT. I wasn't being negligent, I actually was on the way out of the store.

I almost feel bad for posting this, since you had such a well thought-out response, but this comment made me think of one of my favorite Louis CK sketches:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA#t=6m17s

[brooklyneast05]

i just read this article which sort of plays into this

are you raising a douchebag?
http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/m...g?currentPage=1

this picture alone cracked me up, just look at what this kid is eating.



some quotes

Alas, convenient as it might be, we can't blame the children. "There's no such thing as a spoiled gene," says parenting expert Michele Borba, author of Don't Give Me That Attitude! "The brat factor is all learned." Which means that if you're the dad pushing Junior around in a limited-edition Bugaboo stroller by Bas Kosters ($2,000), carrying a Louis Vuitton diaper bag ($1,380), and checking in at a members-only parenting club like Citi-babes in Manhattan (annual membership: $2,000), your offspring are probably developing some serious entitlement issues. Just read the news. The Wall Street Journal recently reported on the rise of sixth-grade "fashion bullies" who terrorize peers who don't wear Junior Dolce & Gabbana. Then there was the New York Times article on youngsters—4-year-olds!—who fancy themselves collectors of highly coveted works of art.


It's not just about money, though. Since the nineties, a surge in overprotective parenting has promoted discussion over discipline and made leisure activities contingent upon nanny CPR training (have you ever even considered letting your kid play with a pocket knife or a rusty Flexible Flyer, never mind have a paper route?).

In 1999, Katie Allison Granju wrote a book, Attachment Parenting, about the virtues of catering to the needs and emotions of the very young, from breast-feeding-on-demand to co-sleeping. While she still advocates that approach, she also believes that society tries to turn babies into children too fast and then treats older kids much like babies. Her forthcoming book is titled Let Them Run With Scissors: How Over-Parenting Hurts Children, Parents and Society. "We no longer allow children to have personal autonomy, to experience hard knocks, or to take real risks," she says. "The result is a nation of overweight, overindulged, overly neurotic kids who whine and moan and often can't function on their own."