I just went to a bar for the first time Options

[Reidar]

God, that sucked. I went with my friend at his insistence. First of all, it was packed and we had to squeeze in on the very end of the row against the wall. I liked how there were arcade machines right next to me that made me feel like I was at some cheap pizza parlor or something (don't get me wrong, Samurai Shodown was the coolest thing in there). Then this lady wearing the lowest cut top I've ever seen comes up to me from behind the counter and asks what I'll be having. I catch myself from instinctually ordering a warrior steak burrito with extra volcano sauce like I do at my favorite Mexican place and instead pick something called a "Corona", which I know from my studies to be a common social beverage among many humans. I've never had alcohol before, but I've forced so many different supplements down my gullet that drinking this revolting mixture didn't phase me. Mostly I was just amazed that I payed $5 to drink this shit and stare at the wall while listening to old fat men hit on the counter woman. My friend explained that you have to "feel the buzz" so you loosen up a bit. I'm plenty loosened up already; hell, I'm falling ASLEEP from this. I guess that makes me a hardcore drinker, blacking out before I've even had anything. I don't like to brag, though. At this point I've had my second bottle and I lean back to stretch when the bartender looks over and tells me, "Wow, you look like you workout a lot!"
"No, I was born this way. I'm trying to slim down to normal so I can comfortably assimilate into society."
"Uh...haha. So I've never seen you around here!" [It's a small town.]
"Well, I've never been to a bar before. I'm just here with him."
"What? No way. You guys totally look like the bar types to me."
At this point she's leaning forward right into me and I can't help but think that I've been mistaken for one of those slobbering old farts just a few seats down. I thought she meant what she said as a compliment about me looking grizzled and tough or something, but now that I think about it it's most likely the former. It's not my fault leather jackets make me look like I'm 30.

Anyways, we left. Nobody even challenged me to a fight, which was my only real incentive for trying. I don't know how - or rather, why - some of you guys do it.