Wake up and Realize you're a piece of shit Options

[USCavalry]

i basically fell asleep for the past two years, woke up, and realized im a piece of shit

Summary:
i let so many people take advantage of me that i thought all people in general sucked, and in turn became a sucky person. i lost hope in the good things and lived mostly in fear of the bad. because of this fear i tried to compensate by being slightly more macho and a lot more dominant among friends and just in general. its like the douche bags in life are zombies and one of them bit me. you dont know when they bite you, you just slowly start turning into one.

Analysis:
so now im going back through essentially all of my memories and identyfing all the mistakes ive overlooked, especially those in the past couple years. im figuring out that you cant forgive people that take advantage of you, you can only move on and learn to avoid letting it happen again. you can only forgive people who actually want to be forgivenen, otherwise you harbor feelings of resentment beneath a genuine desire of simply forgiving them. im remembering how happy i used to be and am working on unlearning how to think and act like a person that was never really me, but a sort of lesser parallel version of myself.

Conclusion:
thats pretty much it. when the stress becomes almost unbearable i usually always start coming up with huge life and self realizations. im legally bipolar but always refused to take pills because i knew more to life existed beyond chemicals interacting with other chemicals in the brain. i finally am starting to figure out how awesome the world actually is and how awesome of a person i can be if i allow myself

side note: i find it sad that people who take pills ignore their problems and sacrafice inner peace for a diluted sense of reality. i know people like this who are popular, attractive, and always smiling. i used to think if i took pills i would be happy too, but there are issues lingering within them that may never allow them to be truely happy. you can accept the pain and move on, or live with it

edited side note at 2:12 AM