Weapons of Math Instruction, hopefully this hasnt been posted already |
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 Jul 12 2004, 11:35 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 1,795 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,421  |
Weapons of Math Instruction
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point,and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks." |
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Jul 13 2004, 02:17 AM
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#2
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
haha lol. hehe thats pretty cool even though i hate math
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Jul 13 2004, 10:10 AM
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#3
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 Kermit the frog = <3 Group: Member Posts: 2,315 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,215 |
lol.. it's clever.
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Jul 13 2004, 10:52 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 271 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 19,766 |
ya its clever
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Jul 13 2004, 10:55 AM
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#5
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 NO WAI! R u Srs? Group: Member Posts: 1,264 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,094 |
I knew math was evil
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Jul 13 2004, 04:39 PM
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#6
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 hi-diddily-ho neighbor Group: Member Posts: 107 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 457 |
hehe..thats cute.
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Jul 21 2004, 05:45 AM
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#7
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 rawr Group: Member Posts: 906 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 26,961 |
clever..where do you get this stuff from?
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Jul 21 2004, 05:52 AM
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#8
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 life is short...and so am i.. Group: Member Posts: 176 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,316 |
wow thats a real witty lil joke. funny...thanks for posting. i should show my algebra teacher. lol
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Jul 24 2004, 09:32 AM
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#9
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 ^_^ Group: Member Posts: 1,666 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,225 |
yeah, it is a clever joke.
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Jul 24 2004, 05:49 PM
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#10
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Stacy Group: Member Posts: 220 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,199 |
I've heard that one before...
I was laughing like crazy the first time I heard it... I like math, and math is evil, so that means I'm evil too?! ;-) |
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Jul 24 2004, 05:53 PM
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#11
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 pixel hybrid Group: Member Posts: 6,410 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,081 |
Ahaha, that was funny.
 It's like the other one I haerd.. in here too.. hmm, if only I can remember it.
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Jul 26 2004, 05:40 PM
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#12
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 s a r a h r o s e <3 Group: Member Posts: 575 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,944 |
lol! how very clever
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