Rekindling an old flame, Best way to go about it Options

[Stuckie]

I started talking with an old "friend" of mine from high school. I wouldn't be asking for advice from you all if it didnt have a some kinda awkward twist. She has a kid now and is currently with her baby daddy, who I know personally. She says he neglects her, but he is a good father, which is the only reason she is still with him. How do I approach her without scaring her or making it seem like Im trying to house her?

[-DressYourEyelid...]

if she's with someone i would back off. sounds harsh, but you don't want to interfere, especially if there is a child involved.

[iGio]

I started talking with an old "friend" of mine from high school. I wouldn't be asking for advice from you all if it didnt have a some kinda awkward twist. She has a kid now and is currently with her baby daddy, who I know personally. She says he neglects her, but he is a good father, which is the only reason she is still with him. How do I approach her without scaring her or making it seem like Im trying to house her?

That's a tough one, and I sorta agree with DressYourEyeLids . He's a good father BUT he neglects her. He can still be a good father either way if I'm thinking what you mean by talking with an old "friend" is correct. Just be there I guess for the neglect, and that will end up going somewhere maybe .

[gojira]

let me make it colorful for you

I started talking with an old "friend" of mine from high school. I wouldn't be asking for advice from you all if it didnt have a some kinda awkward twist. She has a kid now and is currently with her baby daddy, who I know personally. She says he neglects her, but he is a good father, which is the only reason she is still with him. How do I approach her without scaring her or making it seem like Im trying to house her?

it doesn't take a genius to figure out what to do in your predicament. becoming a homewrecker is your prerogative, but understand she has excess baggage. it might be not the brightest thing to pursue anything further than sexual relations (miss u bill clinton), unless you willing to deal with the drama it entails.

[karmakiller]

I don't know why you'd want to start up a relationship with her. You just recently started talking to her, so how do you know that you have real feelings for her.

If her boyfriend and father of her child is neglecting her (which can mean a lot of different things) then that's something that she will have to figure out how to handle on her own. If she's going to leave him let her leave him because he neglects her not because she wants to have a fling with you.

You should back off, especially if the guy is a friend of yours. She's probably not worth the drama and if something did happen you guys probably wouldn't be together for that long anyways.

[illriginal]

Neglecting her? Ha... once you have a child, my good man, it's no longer about you... it's all about the child.


Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to act like I know the guy personally, for all we know the guy is either out with his friends a lot of times or simply is being a father, by being responsible and working hard, bringing home the benjamins to support his child and put a roof over their heads.

[hypnotique]

Neglecting her? Ha... once you have a child, my good man, it's no longer about you... it's all about the child.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to act like I know the guy personally, for all we know the guy is either out with his friends a lot of times or simply is being a father, by being responsible and working hard, bringing home the benjamins to support his child and put a roof over their heads.

But if its loveless...?

[illriginal]

Who says it's loveless? You have to let go of that self centered-ness once you have a child. All of us have a degree of being self centered, it's natural, it's part of our being. But once you bring a child into the world... you have to forget nearly everything about you, you, you... you now have a new responsibility, a new life in your hands.


Now with that said, I don't see how a child can make a relationship loveless, there's some sort of love if the mother and father are doing what's best for their child and themselves.

If you mean that they had a child by accident because they're horny little infidels, tough shit, you were responsible enough to stick your penis in her or let him penetrate you, then you're responsible enough to have that child and care for it for the rest of your entire lives if you must.

It's becoming clear that people now a days, not all but majority, do not think of the consequences, the possibilities, nor the responsibilities of having sex. It's a lot more than selfish pleasure / hedonism and fun / games.

[karmakiller]

But if its loveless...?

When a woman says "He's neglecting me" it can mean sooo many things, especially with a child in the picture. I don't really know why the OP would want to get involved with a woman who has a child with one of his friends... that's just rocky ground even if her bf/his friend doesn't have hard feelings.

[illriginal]

When a woman says "He's neglecting me" it can mean sooo many things, especially with a child in the picture. I don't really know why the OP would want to get involved with a woman who has a child with one of his friends... that's just rocky ground even if her bf/his friend doesn't have hard feelings.

Wait OP wants to get involved with the lady?...


OP don't cross that path. Don't even give her any temptations, no matter what she says. Have respect for a man's woman, you shouldn't even gaze at a man's woman.

[karmakiller]

Wait OP wants to get involved with the lady?...

LOL, sorry, I was more amused by that line than I should have been.

I think everyone agrees he shouldn't get involved

[illriginal]

LOL, sorry, I was more amused by that line than I should have been.

I think everyone agrees he shouldn't get involved

Oh... I didn't know he meant approach in that specific way...

Damn dood... so what exactly do you mean by, approach her, but... not trying to "house" her?


You mean... you just wanna be buddies, right?


I thought you were talkin on some friendship ish..

[iGio]

Oh... I didn't know he meant approach in that specific way...

Damn dood... so what exactly do you mean by, approach her, but... not trying to "house" her?

[Stuckie]

Well the kid aint mine, so I dont want her getting the impression that I'll support them. But I dont want to scare her away, because, overall, she is a good person to be around. I was comfortable around her when we were "friending". The guy is cool but he does have that kinda shadyness about him, which why believe her when she says he neglects her.

But I get what everyone is saying. I'll try to backoff. They do have a kid. They should try to work it out.

I think I have that Chronic B*tch Dependency A Pimp Named Slickback was talking about.

[datass]

Who says it's loveless? You have to let go of that self centered-ness once you have a child. All of us have a degree of being self centered, it's natural, it's part of our being. But once you bring a child into the world... you have to forget nearly everything about you, you, you... you now have a new responsibility, a new life in your hands.
Now with that said, I don't see how a child can make a relationship loveless, there's some sort of love if the mother and father are doing what's best for their child and themselves.

If you mean that they had a child by accident because they're horny little infidels, tough shit, you were responsible enough to stick your penis in her or let him penetrate you, then you're responsible enough to have that child and care for it for the rest of your entire lives if you must.

so strange, cuz i agree with you on most of that